New Year
by scared of clouds
Summary: Lily Evans is planning on seeing the New Year in alone; and then just getting through the rest of the year with as few problems as possible. Unfortunately for Lily Evans, very little in her life ever comes off as planned. One year in the life of L & J. Was a one-shot, now being written as a multi-chap. Cover art by Viria.
1. New Year's Eve

**A/N: I shouldn't really have been spending any time on this, since I am behind on my writing schedule for Turning Tables, but hey, I have my reasons. **

**First, I've had this little scene kicking around in my head for a while, and it doesn't fit in with the time period of TT so I decided the best way to get it out of my head was to turn it into a one-shot. (I toyed with sticking it in as a flashback, but it simply doesn't suit.)**

**Second, I really wanted to post chapter 24 of Turning Tables for New Year's Eve, since that's when it's set, but I haven't even finished chapter 23 yet, so it will be posted too late!**

**So this is a little bit of Jily fluff for you guys to enjoy anyway.**

**Happy New Year! I hope 2013 brings all of you everything you wish for.**

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**31st December 1976, 8.05pm**

The sound of hail lashing against the glass of her dormitory windows made Lily Evans flinch; the wind had been howling around Gryffindor tower for what seemed like days, and it felt like the December cold had actually managed to seep into her bones. The fire crackling in the hearth did little to ease the chill that had established itself in the room, though it did help put a measure of holiday cheer in her mood. Wrapping her duvet more tightly around her she clambered awkwardly off her bed and headed to check the window was as tightly shut as possible. Surely there had to be a draught or _something_ to make this room as bloody cold as it was? Apparently not, since the drapes were tightly closed and there wasn't even a flicker of air movement around the windows themselves. Yanking the curtains open, Lily peered out at the storm pounding itself out against the grey stone walls.

She loved Hogwarts. She hated to think that that her time there would be over soon – sixth year was hurtling by, dragging her - unwilling and unhappy - along with it. Next year – Merlin, _seventh year_ - would be her last, and the very thought made her stomach clench painfully. She loved it here. She loved the forest and grounds, the lake, the castle most of all. Now, with a blanket of winter snow covering everything as far as she could see the castle seemed even more like something from a fairy-tale.

That's what she'd thought she was getting when that letter from Hogwarts had arrived. She'd thought the world was handing her a fairy-tale. She hadn't known then how much it would eventually cost her, and she was glad for that, glad for the little bit of ignorance that had kept her eleven year-old self deliriously, untouchably happy about her magical abilities.

It was because of her magic that she was sat inside a beautiful, wonderful, enchanted castle on New Year's Eve, watching the unruly seasonal weather wreak havoc on the outside world while she was wrapped up inside.

It was because of her magic that she couldn't go home for the Christmas holidays and be with her family for her sister's engagement party on New Year's Eve.

Yeah. Something given with one hand _always_ means something taken away with the other.

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**31st December 1976, 10.15pm**

Two hours later, and even though the hailstorm had died down and the night was quiet, Lily had given up entirely on ever warming up her dorm room. She had relocated, duvet and all to the largest sofa in the Gryffindor common room, which coincidentally was directly next to the fire. She tried desperately to focus on her book – a muggle novel by Michael Crichton – but the tale of the great train robbery just wasn't drawing her in, as her mind drifted time and again to her family. She couldn't help but wonder if her absence at Tuney's party that evening was noticed; if her relatives were asking questions, if her parents missed her, if Tuney felt_ any_ sadness at all that her only sister wasn't there with her.

You'd think after five and a half years, she'd have learnt to recognise wishful thinking. Hope was toxic; it raised your expectations, and it left you that much more broken when your anticipations were dashed.

The light tapping on the window of the common room made her jump and her book landed with a thud on its spine on the rug in front of the fire, pages flapping loose. The firelight threw eerie flickers of shadow against the window, and Lily let out a small shriek before she got a grip on herself.

_Merlin girl, anyone would think it was Halloween and you'd been scaring yourself with ghost stories. Honestly, jumping at shadows…_

She crossed to the window, telling herself that it was purely to check that it was just her imagination in overdrive, and was shocked and slightly appalled to see a small brown owl perched on the outside ledge, sheltering from the cold wind. She opened the window and the owl flew in, accompanied by a blast of wintry air; Lily slammed the window shut behind it as quickly as possible, anxious to block out any more of the freezing weather. The poor thing had landed on the back of an armchair near the fire, and perched there, shivering slightly, its wings hunched up; as Lily approached it, it held out its leg, somehow managing to give her a pleading look as it did so.

She took the rolled up piece of notepaper from it and couldn't help the small smile. 'Thank you. You can stay in if your owner doesn't need you back soon.'

She could have sworn the owl actually looked relieved as it ruffled its feathers and settled down to nap, appearing to be perfectly content with its perch. Lily glanced at the letter in her hand, and noting her name on the outside, she unrolled it immediately and began to read.

**_Happy New Year Sweetheart!_**

**_Your father and I just wanted to say that, since we aren't seeing you this year. Hope you are having a wonderful time, I'm sure you'll probably be too busy having fun to read this until tomorrow, but we wanted you to know that we were thinking of you, and we miss you sweetheart. Christmas wasn't the same without you. Tuney missed you too, though she'd never say it. _**

**_I'm sure you're wondering about the owl. Mrs McKinnon sent her to us with a Happy New Year message (wasn't that kind? We've been keeping in touch since you introduced us) and said we should feel free to use her if we wanted. _**

**_That's it sweetheart. We love you and miss you. Write soon. _**

**_Mum & Dad _**

Lily felt the tears well up, but refused to let them fall. The letter slipped from her hand and fluttered to the floor as she slumped back onto the sofa. She'd promised herself that she wouldn't cry over this again and _she wasn't going to._ She buried her face in her hands and focused on each breath she took, feeling her erratic heartbeat calm. The beginning of a headache pulsed in her temples.

'Evans?'

The voice was low and deep and came from the boy's staircase behind her. The tone suggested that the speaker was as surprised to find her there as she was to be found. Giving herself a brief moment to make an attempt at composing her expression, she lifted her head from her hands and tilted it all the way back until it rested on the back of the sofa.

'Potter. I thought everyone was at the New Year's party in the Hufflepuff common room.'

'Likewise.' The voice was closer now, and she felt the change in the air as he sat down alongside her, his leg brushing fleetingly and softly against hers.

'I don't feel like partying. If I did, the party would be here. Didn't you wonder why we weren't throwing one?'

She opened one eye and peeked sideways at him. His head was tilted back exactly as hers was, his eyes closed and his face seemingly relaxed. His glasses sat on his nose, slightly wonky as always and his dark hair was its usual messy self. He had a nice profile. Interesting. Kind of masculine, but soft in its own way and…_shit, she was staring at James Potter's face._ Shutting her eyes again and trying to pretend that it had never happened, she blurted out her rather delayed answer.

'I never thought about it. I didn't really realise someone actually _organised _any of the parties that go on in here, I kind of assumed they just spontaneously happened.'

'Nope.' His voice sounded passive somehow, unbothered with the world. 'We organise them. And by we, I mean the Marauders. But I'm not exactly in the party spirit this year, so the others are off having fun, and I'm playing Scrooge here by myself. Although apparently not as by myself as I thought.'

That last statement came out significantly quieter than the rest of his speech, and the tone sounded different. Opening the same eye as before and chancing a second glance, Lily noticed that he hadn't moved so much as a muscle, his face still set in that peaceful visage, his entire posture making him oddly appealing somehow.

'Why not?' The question came out before she had a moment to reconsider, and he turned his face towards her, his brow furrowing.

'I don't really understand the question?' He raised an eyebrow at her, and she realised that she hadn't actually asked a sensible query. The thought of her blurting incoherencies because of the strange reaction he was provoking in her made her flush.

'Oh, sorry! I meant, why aren't you in the party mood? You're normally in the thick of things aren't you?'

'Well, I generally like a good party, it's true. But…' He paused a moment and blew out a long breath. 'My parents have been sick. They're both still in St Mungos, that's why I've stayed here for the holidays. I guess I just don't feel much like celebrating.'

His face retained that calm expression, but this close she could see it was a product of practice rather than genuine tranquillity and that there was an unspoken layer of hurt and worry lying just beneath the gloss of his composure.

'Sorry. I shouldn't have been prying.' She spoke softly, feeling the need to give him some kind of sympathy, even if she could only express it through tone.

'You weren't. I wouldn't have answered if I wasn't comfortable with you knowing.' He gave her the smallest of smiles, but she was pleased to see it was a genuine one at least. She felt the corners of her mouth begin to rise slightly in response.

'What about you?' The question fell easily from his mouth, but it took her completely by surprise.

'What?' She registered how flustered she sounded – since when had James Potter been able to fluster her?

'You don't normally stay at Hogwarts for the holidays. I was just wondering why you did this year.'

'Stalking me Potter?'

'Hardly. You are nothing if not reliable Evans. You have followed exactly the same pattern since first year. Deviations do not go unnoticed.' He tilted his head slightly so he could look her in the eye, those bright hazel orbs of his boring into her vivid green pools. 'But they can go unexplained if you'd prefer not to tell me.'

Feeling the bile rising up her throat again, Lily couldn't stop herself from blurting everything, every painful little slight, every minor hurt and wound. Tuney's engagement, the party, the rift between them, Vernon's ignorance of her magic. How her presence at a family event wasn't acceptable anymore. How she stayed at Hogwarts because she wasn't welcome at home.

James listened to it all with a patient ear and a sympathetic expression, his eyes betraying a certain amount of anger when she described her sister's view of magical people that he nonetheless refrained from voicing. When she had finally wound down, when she had poured out all the injuries to her heart and pride, she felt her chest abruptly clench with uncertainty and insecurity. James Potter would not normally have been her first choice in confidante, and she was terrified that she had just handed him a load of ammunition to make her life more miserable; she reminded herself that he had volunteered something personal about himself first, and that he hadn't been anywhere near as objectionable this term as he had in previous years. She did her best to silently quash her self-doubt and waited patiently for his response. When it did come, she probably couldn't have been more surprised.

'Would you like some hot chocolate? That's where I was heading anyway.'

She snorted. 'Where are you planning to get hot chocolate from at this time of night?'

'Kitchens.'

She rolled her eyes at him. 'How do you even know where the kitchens are? You know, it doesn't matter, it's well past curfew and the kitchens are out of bounds to students in any case.'

'I'm sorry, were you under the impression you were talking to Remus?' He asked innocently. 'I have my ways, and I can promise you we won't get caught.'

She made the mistake of making eye contact again, and she never thought before tonight that she'd be happy to see that little gleam of mischief in his eyes. She'd always criticised him for it, but she'd never quite appreciated how much that little hint of trouble-maker made him more, well, him.

'What did you have in mind?'

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**31st December 1976, 11.55pm**

Lily couldn't have said at what point she began to relax. It could have been somewhere between the second and third cups of hot chocolate, or it could have been when James left her sitting at the little table in the corner while he went to search cupboards for chocolate cake because she'd said it was her favourite.

Anyway, it didn't matter because Lily had been laughing hysterically for at least an hour solid, and was currently in fits of giggles at James' impression of Peter on a broomstick.

'…flailing around like a pixie on ice, honestly I've never seen anyone with less co-ordination.'

'That's because you've never seen me on a broom.' Lily let out a nervous laugh and finished her hot chocolate off, swiping her finger around the inside to catch the last of the cream.

'You _cannot_ be that bad.'

'I'm worse.' Lily made eye contact, raised her eyebrows and nodded her head slowly until his look of amusement became one of mock disbelief. 'Honestly. It's an awful thing actually, because I love Quidditch.'

'You do?' He seemed surprised. 'I mean, I know you come to the matches, but you never seemed that into it. I thought you were just kind of tagging along with the others.'

'Well, I couldn't offer you any encouragement could I? You have enough adulation without me fawning all over your Quidditch skills as well.'

James's smile spread slowly across his face. 'You're impressed by my Quidditch playing Lily?'

'I didn't say that!' She blurted the words as she realised that she had inadvertently let a little too much slip out. Who knew hot chocolate could loosen your tongue better than firewhiskey?

'Oh, yes you did, and remembering it is going to keep me warm at night.' James smile couldn't possibly get any wider, and even though his amusement was at her expense, she couldn't help but be glad that his earlier sadness had passed.

He stood and gathered up their mugs, gripping the handles easily in one large hand.

'Did you want another?'

'I think I'd explode, but thank you. I guess we should probably head back now.' James crossed the kitchen and abandoned their mugs in the capable hands of the house-elves before returning to her. Lily stood as well, and for the first time for several hours an edge of uneasiness was tangible between them. From somewhere far above them came the chiming of a clock, pealing twelve loud tolls.

'Midnight.' James spoke softly. 'Happy New Year Lily.'

He bent his head down and planted a kiss on her cheek, very softly and respectfully and with a slight hint of nervousness. Abandoning all rational thought and acting on impulse for once in her life, Lily closed her eyes, turned her head and caught his mouth in a soft but firm kiss. She could sense his shock at her boldness in the sudden change in his posture, the slight stiffening of his body before he allowed himself to relax. He didn't even attempt to move closer to her, though she could feel his desire to so radiate through him; he merely held himself perfectly still and in place and permitted her total control over the moment. She allowed her lips to pull themselves softly across his for a lingering moment then she took a shaky step back and opened her eyes to find his staring back at her, any lingering trace of unhappiness vanished in an instant.

'Happy New Year James.' If anything, her voice was even softer than his had been, and there was a shaky tone to it she felt betrayed her slightly; that ridiculously sweet smile reappeared and she felt the butterflies in her stomach renew their efforts to unsettle her. He gestured her towards the door and allowed her to get a step or two ahead of him, granting her some space between them before he followed. Lord knew she could do with the breathing room, and she felt a little impressed with his restraint, that he hadn't pressed an obvious advantage.

As they left the kitchen through the main door into the dungeons she could have sworn she heard him mutter under his breath.

'Happy New Year she says. Sodding hell. Should be a bloody interesting one, judging by tonight.'

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**A/N: Thanks for reading, I'd love it if you'd leave me your thoughts in a review (or feel free to PM me if you prefer).  
**


	2. January

**********A/N: Hi everyone! This was previously a fluffy one-shot that I wrote for New Years Eve, but I've decided to turn it into a multi-chap. Why you ask? Couple of reasons actually; I liked the difference between this J&L and TT's J&L and want to play with the characters a little; I like writing Jily before they're together _more_ than when they're a couple; I feel like I want to resolve what happens between them after New Years Eve; and finally because the sequel to Turning Tables is likely to be quite dark in tone, and I can use this as my outleft for light-hearted Jily Fluff!**

**********If you're looking for dark deeds and lots of angst, this may not be the story for you. If, one the other hand, you're looking for something lighter that includes Jily fluff, Bromance, Marauder antics and just a smidgen of angst, welcome!**

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**1****st**** January 1977, 9.45pm**

'Alright, what did you do to Evans?'

James lifted his tired eyes from their contemplation of the chessboard and looked up at his best mate; Sirius was frowning suspiciously at him, his eyes narrowed and arms crossed as he glowered. James closed his eyes briefly and let out a deep sigh to signal his frustration before opening them again and commanding his knight to move, leaning back in his seat and cracking his knuckles as he watched the pieces change position on the board. He gave a grim smile of satisfaction as his knight decapitated Sirius' bishop before he responded, keeping his tone even and unconcerned.

'What are you on about Padfoot? I haven't done anything to Evans.'

'Yeah?' Sirius kept his glare fixed on James and his posture stiff. 'Then why has she looked over here seven times in the last ten minutes?'

'No idea.' James smirked. 'Maybe she's admiring your hair.' Still, he couldn't help flicking a glance in Lily's direction now. He'd been trying not to pay too much obvious attention to her this evening, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable about the events of last night, but it was hard work because his eyes always seemed to want to stray in her direction. It took a lot of effort _not_ to look at her, and his eyes were sore from being more or less permanently trained on the chessboard as a measure to stop him from gazing at her.

'Screw you.' Sirius dropped his eyes to the board, his glare increasing as he realised that James was efficiently backing his king into a corner. James barely registered Sirius' insult as he indulged himself for a moment and just observed her. She was curled up on that same sofa again, her body angled towards the fire as she slowly turned the pages in her book. Her hair was bundled messily up on top of her head, and her overly baggy jumper had slid off one shoulder, exposing a thin strap and a patch of creamy pale skin.

Her eyes lifted from her book and darted in his direction just in time to catch him looking at her; their eyes made contact for the briefest moment before they both turned their heads back to their respective activities, the unspoken agreement not to mention this hanging in the air between them.

James' attention was brought back to the game as Sirius commanded his left-side rook to move with a curl of his lip before leaning back in his seat and huffing loudly, obviously displeased with the way the game was going.

'Do you want to do something else mate?' James asked, allowing a hint of amusement to creep into his tone. 'Because you are wheezing and grousing like my grandmother, and she's dead.'

'No, I do not want to do something else Prongs, I want you to tell me what's going on with Evans!' Sirius growled the words out, and it only served to amuse James more; Sirius became more and more like his animagus side when he was irritated, and it seemed that he was _extremely_ wound up about this.

'There's nothing going on with Evans.' James replied absently before moving his bishop to take Sirius' rook, a move which earned him another low growl of displeasure from his best mate.

'You're a shit liar mate.' Sirius moved his knight without sparing the board more than a brief glance, obviously writing the game off as lost. 'Always have been. You'd think you'd have got better at it over the years, but no. You're as hopelessly honest as ever. It's one of your weak points.'

'I like to think of it as an admirable character trait.' James spoke absent-mindedly as he swept his eyes over the chess pieces. 'Queen to E12.'

'You keep telling yourself that.' Sirius pulled his jumper off over his head, then winked at two fifth year girls in the corner who blushed at being caught looking at him.

James shook his head at Sirius' shameless flirting. 'You shouldn't get their hopes up Padfoot. One day you'll find yourself lynched by a mob of disappointed women.'

'Never happen Prongs.' He smiled widely at the girls again, making them giggle as they whispered furiously to each other behind their hands. 'I could charm my way out of anything, even a mob of angry women.'

'Why is Padfoot being mobbed by angry women?' The amused voice of Remus Lupin came from behind James, and he turned his head to see his tall friend fold himself into the seat nearest him.

'Because he toys with their affections Moony.' James grinned at him.

'Hasn't he always done that?' Remus' face was an interesting mix of amusement and confusion. 'Why are they stringing him up now?'

James shrugged. 'I just assumed that eventually it would all come back to bite him in the arse.'

Remus laughed. 'Are you talking about karma?'

'I don't even know what that is mate.' James reached across the table and jabbed a finger into Sirius's shoulder. 'Move. We don't have the rest of our lives to finish this game you know.'

Sirius scowled. 'I'm thinking.'

'A new experience for you, I'm sure.' Remus leaned forward to examine the board and Sirius cuffed him on the back of the head in rebuke.

The echoing thump of a book being thrown onto the coffee table made all three of them jump, and they all looked over towards the fire in time to see Lily push herself to her feet and stretch, her arms raised above her head. She looked over at the three of them and smiled, then she picked her book up again and headed for the girl's staircase, passing close by their table and slowing down as she moved past them.

'Night Remus, Sirius.' They both nodded at her, and Remus added a quiet goodnight of his own, smiling at her as she drifted past his chair, but her eyes were fixed elsewhere.

'Goodnight James.'

Sirius and Remus looked sharply at their friend, who ignored them both as he lifted his eyes from the chess game to Lily's face and spoke softly in response. 'Night Lily.'

She gave him a little smile as she carried on towards the stairs, and he fixed his gaze back on the chess pieces, adamantly refusing to look either one of them in the face even though he could feel their stares boring into his skin.

'Nooo.' Sirius' voice was laden with sarcasm. 'There's nothing going on with Evans _at all_.'

'James.' Remus sounded flabbergasted. 'James, what did you do?'

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**5****th**** January 1977, 8.15am**

'…so I told him exactly what he could do with his drink!' Marlene finished triumphantly, brandishing her spoon in the air for emphasis. 'Honestly, what is it with men? I thought maybe it was just wizards who were gits, but apparently muggle men are very much the same. They think all they need to do is buy you a drink, and your knickers will miraculously fall off. I'm swearing off.'

That got more laughter than anything else she'd said so far, and even Lily was forced to hold back the giggles a little.

'What are you lot laughing at?' demanded Marlene.

'Well sweetie, I think it's the idea of you being off men in general that's amusing to us. You've dated more than all the rest of us put together after all.' Emma spoke quietly, but her voice was laced with amusement.

'Yeah, well, that just proves my point doesn't it?' Marlene thumped a fist on the table. 'I've gone on dozens of dates, and none of them were up to much were they? Men stink.'

'Oh come on Marly, they're not_ all_ bad. You just haven't dated the right one yet.' Lily's voice sounded a little distracted, and there was a wistfulness to it that wasn't normally present; Marlene swivelled her head and took in Lily's uncharacteristic abstraction. She sat swirling her spoon in her porridge, her eyes staring off into the distance as she spoke. A quick glance at Emma and Alice showed that they had also noticed Lily's slightly unusual behaviour since they'd returned to school yesterday afternoon, but neither was likely to broach the subject out of respect for Lily's privacy; Marlene, on the other hand, had no such qualms.

'Anything you want to tell us, Lily darling?' Marlene asked, her voice a gentle purr.

Lily looked away from her contemplation of a distant wall and stared blankly at her friends. 'Like what?'

'Like exactly which males you've been associating with that have led you to believe that some decent ones still exist. And why you've been staring off into space all morning.' Marlene's smile was predatory; she was obviously expecting gossip of some kind here, and Lily absolutely could not tell her that she had spent several hours in conversation with James Potter over the last few days, and more importantly she daren't let a word about New Year's Eve slip out. She'd never hear the end of it.

So she put on her best innocent expression and smiled. 'It was more of a general observation Marly. I mean, just look around this room. There's Benjy, and Frank, Remus, Austin, Max. You can't deny that they're all nice guys, and I'm sure none of them would dream of being less than a gentleman if you were on a date with them. I'm just trying to point out that we know plenty of nice guys, you just don't date any of them.'

'She's right.' Alice's quiet voice broke in. 'We do know lots of nice guys; you should consider dating one of our friends sometime, someone you actually_ know_ a bit. But if you date Frank, I'll kill you.'

'Hmm.' Marlene didn't look appeased – she knew Lily well enough to spot that something in her behaviour was different from before Christmas break – but she did allow the subject to drop. The girls chatted about Alice's crush on Frank, about their holidays and families, and Lily smiled along and nodded and tried to ignore the little pangs in her heart whenever she thought about _her_ family.

And she tried her very best not to look at the four boys sat just a little way along the table, the four boys she'd eaten breakfast with for the last three days while her friends had been away, who had accepted her presence without question and had done their best to include her in their jokes and conversations.

Still, she wasn't always focused on the girl's conversation, and her eyes did wander from time to time, and maybe they did land on a hazel-eyed boy with messy black hair, but so what? It wasn't as if she was _looking _at him.

His head turned and his eyes connected with hers very briefly, and she knew she ought to look away but he gave her a tiny grin, and she felt her face crease into an answering smile and in the end, he looked away first as Sirius called his attention to something. She turned her attention back to Emma's description of her new dress robes, and tried to ignore the appraising looks Marlene was still throwing her way.

A few minutes later Alice faltered in mid-sentence and focused her eyes at a point behind Lily's head. Realising that Marlene and Emma were looking at exactly the same spot, Lily turned in her seat and came face to face – or more accurately, face to abdomen – with James, who was smiling down at her and holding out a book.

'Thanks Lily.' He smiled at her. 'I can't say I understood all of the muggle references, but it was a good read. And I've actually finished my Muggle Studies essay ahead of time, which is a miracle. It would have taken me forever to find a muggle book to read without you.'

'Oh. _Oh_. Yeah, I'd forgotten…' She stuttered a little and trailed off, then started again - more calmly this time - reaching out to take her book from his hands. 'You're welcome James.'

He shot her one of those grins again, and was about to keep walking when he suddenly held up a finger and reached his hand into a pocket.

'Almost forgot.' He pulled out something small and white and held it up in the air. 'After our _discussion_ the other day, I got to work on this; proof that I _am_ as good at magic as I think I am. This is a ridiculously complicated combination of runes, charms _and_ transfiguration. And it's for you.' He tossed it to her, and she caught it instinctively; he nodded approvingly. 'Good reflexes. See you in Potions.'

He turned and left the Hall, and Lily turned back to face her friends, whose facial expressions varied from puzzled to amused. To give herself a moment to think, she looked down at her hand and opened it, allowing the crumpled ball of paper to roll itself onto her palm. As she watched it, it unfolded itself until it was flat and she could read the words written on it in slanted, messy handwriting.

_This will only work when you - and only you - are touching the paper. That was the hardest bit to get right. Bloody runes._

Then the sheet of paper began to fold itself in complicated ways until eventually an origami swan sat in her hand. She let out a little gasp of surprise, then set the swan down on the table. It instantly screwed itself back up into the ball of wadded up paper it had originally been; the minute she picked it back up, it began to repeat its transformation.

She let out the tiniest laugh, and looked up at her friends, eyes sparkling at the incredibly complex magic James had just handed her so casually, but she faltered when she saw the looks on their faces. All three girls were looking at her as if she'd just grown an extra head, and she realised that the interaction between her and James must have seemed odd to them; she'd momentarily forgotten everything but James' gift.

'Lily.' Alice spoke first, her voice hesitant. 'Lily, what the hell was that?'

'You called him James.' Emma's eyes were wide. 'You _never_ call him James.'

Marlene, surprisingly enough, didn't say anything. She didn't have to. Lily knew that she would be explaining herself to her best friend before the day was out; Marlene was like a bloodhound for the truth; she could detect lies and evasions with amazing accuracy, and she'd get the truth out of Lily one way or another. Seemed like the best thing to do was give an edited account of events now, in the hope it might save her from further interrogation later.

Merlin, she was going to murder James Potter for putting her in this position, gorgeous magical swan notwithstanding.

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**10****th**** January 1977, 8.10pm**

'Sorry, I'm sorry!' Lily dashed down the corridor towards Remus, who was leaning his lanky frame against the wall as he waited patiently for her. 'Completely lost track of time, I'm so totally stuck on the Transfiguration homework, and I just can't get my Arithmancy stuff right either. I'm a complete mess this week.'

Remus smiled at her frazzled state as he used one long leg to push himself off from the wall. 'First week of term. It's always fun.'

The two of them began to wander down the corridor together, talking quietly as they always did on their rounds.

Lily had always liked Remus. Always, right from first year. Even when she'd been raging at James and Sirius about Sev, she'd never included Remus in those rants. When she'd found out he was a werewolf last year, she'd only felt sympathy for a friend stuck in a terrible situation. When she complained about the more idiotic pranks that the Marauders played, she still never felt any personal antagonism towards Remus over his part in them.

She'd wondered over the last few days just what it was about James and Sirius - and James in particular – that had always somehow managed to enrage her beyond the point of rationality. She recognised that her reaction to his provocation had always been disproportionate, but she was still at a loss to explain why.

A little voice in the back of her head - that she was desperately trying to ignore - was whispering that maybe, just maybe it was because she had always had higher hopes for James. She was jerked out of her thoughts by Remus clearing his throat, and she was grateful for the distraction. For about a minute.

'So, do I get to know what's going on with you and James? Because he's being awfully tight-lipped about it.'

Lily huffed out an exasperated breath, a scowl fixing on her face as she spoke. 'Why is everyone asking me about James all of a sudden? All this week it's been "James this" and "James that", and "Lily, what's with you and James?" and I really don't know what anybody expects me to say.'

Remus grimaced. 'Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.'

Lily felt immediately awful. Remus would never try to pry for the sake of idle gossip, she knew that; if he was asking her about this, it was out of genuine concern for a friend. And thinking about it, this must have been twice as weird for him because it involved _two_ of his friends.

'No, I'm sorry. That wasn't fair; I shouldn't have snapped at you. I just feel like I've spent all week defending my actions to people when it's none of their damn business.'

She reached out for Remus' hand and gave it a friendly squeeze. He squeezed back to let her know it was fine and they continued their rounds silently for the next few minutes, with their fingers tangled together as they walked. The thought that had been jumping up and down for Lily's attention in the back of her mind finally made it out of her mouth, without the apparent intervention of her brain.

'If I told you about it, would you promise not to discuss it with anyone, not even James?'

Remus looked at her as he slowed his pace, his eyes focusing on hers. 'Of course. I'd never betray a confidence.'

'I know.' Lily took a deep breath. 'I know that. I just…I'm not exactly sure of what's going on myself, and I need to talk to someone independent of the whole thing, but there's no-one I could talk to who isn't going to have an opinion that I probably don't want to hear. God, that sentence didn't even make sense did it?'

'It…sort of made sense.' Remus said dubiously, obviously trying to sort it all out in his mind. 'You need to talk to someone who isn't going to try and force you to see things their way.'

'Yes! That's exactly what I meant!' Lily frowned. 'Apparently I have lost my ability to be articulate, as well as my ability to make reasoned decisions, and to think about my actions _before_ I go through with them.'

Remus grinned. 'I'm sure you're about to explain what you're talking about. I promise to keep my opinions to myself.'

Lily took a deep breath, and began to explain. She told him about Petunia's party that she had been prohibited from attending - she'd previously told him that she'd stayed at Hogwarts for Christmas because her parents were going away and she hadn't wanted to go with them - and that led to her sulking in the Gryffindor common room on New Year's Eve. Then she described receiving her parent's letter, then James' unexpected appearance and his open and frank sharing of his family situation. Then, she came to the bit that was harder to explain; her sudden outpouring of her problems. He listened carefully and calmly, with no interruptions, and not for the first time Lily thanked the Lord for Remus Lupin and his kind and steady ways.

'It's not hard to understand Lily.' He spoke at last. 'You were upset and you needed to unload on someone, and he was available and seemed like he might understand. There's nothing wrong with sharing your problems, _or_ with being grateful to him for giving you a friendly ear to vent to. And I know you and James have never been friends as such - though I know for a _fact _that neither of you have ever disliked each other as much as you've pretended to on occasion - but he would never, ever tell anyone else what you told him. If there's one thing James does well, it's keep secrets for his friends.'

'Yeah, I noticed that.' Lily answered dryly. 'I recall him flipping his lid at me last year when I called you out on your "furry little problem". He went berserk when he thought someone had let something slip.'

Remus grinned. 'Yeah, that's James. Loyal and noble to a fault.' He looked down at her and spoke reassuringly. 'If that's what's worrying you, you don't need to be concerned. He'll keep his mouth shut. Sirius has been badgering him for over a week and he hasn't budged. Your secrets are safe with James.'

'And me.' He added as an afterthought.

Lily smiled. 'Well, reassuring as that is, it's not really where my problem lies. Much as I might have hated to admit it before, I know that I can trust James. And I've never had concerns about your trustworthiness either. It's not that whole "secret family catastrophe" issue that concerns me; it's what happened after.'

Remus raised an eyebrow questioningly, and she plunged on with her story before she could lose her nerve.

'He asked if I wanted some hot chocolate, and he took me to the kitchens and we had cake and we talked and he told me funny stories, and we were laughing, and we were just about to come back to the tower when we heard the clock strike midnight.' She paused for a deep breath then blurted out the rest of it, because she needed to tell _someone_.

'And he wished me a Happy New Year, and he kissed me on the cheek, and I – _Merlin_ I don't know what I was thinking – but I just turned my head, and the next thing I know I'm kissing him.'

There was a moment when silence hung between them, then Remus broke it with a strangled sort of splutter. 'You kissed James?'

'I did.'

'Voluntarily. You kissed James. You, Lily Evans, instigated a kiss with my best mate, James Potter, whom you have spent many happy hours telling me was a git.'

'He _is_ a git. _Was_ a git. I don't know!' Lily wailed. 'I don't know why I did it, I don't know why we're so…weirdly friendly now, _I don't know what's going on_. Remus, help me!'

'Me? What am** I** supposed to do?'

'Explain it to me.' Lily begged. 'Apparently I'm a complete emotional moron Remus, I don't understand what is going on, and that's why I can't tell anyone about any of this, because I can't explain what's going on with me and James because I _don't know_ what's going on with me and James!' Her voice was rising steadily in pitch, and fearing an emotional meltdown of epic proportions, Remus pulled his wand out, unlocked the nearest classroom and pulled her in.

He dragged her over to a chair and crouched down in front of her as he tried to calm her down. When he was satisfied that the immediate crisis had passed he straightened up and perched on the desk in front of her.

'Why tell me?'

She looked up at him with almost tearful eyes. 'Because I knew you wouldn't laugh at me, or tell anyone else, or try and make me do anything I don't want to and I… I thought that since you're friends with me _and_ James, that maybe you'd have a better insight than anyone else.'

Remus snorted his amusement at that. 'Please. I may be friends with both of you, but I don't _understand_ either one of you.'

He noted her slumped shoulders and miserable eyes and he pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger as he sighed heavily.

'I can only tell you what I think. I can't tell you if I'm right.' She looked up at him hopefully, and he folded his arms and continued.

'First of all: you have never hated James. Not really. You felt like you _ought _to, because you were friends with Severus and they hated each other, but you personally have never hated him. And now you and Severus are no longer friends, you don't feel that you are betraying him by not hating James anymore.'

Lily opened her mouth to respond, but Remus held up one finger for silence and she promptly closed it again.

'That isn't to say you didn't dislike the way he acted sometimes, and that is perfectly reasonable. **I** disliked the way he acted sometimes. And you were perfectly entitled to call him out on his behaviour, and you would be completely justified in saying that he instigated the majority of your, er, disagreements. But you have to admit that he has been far less of an arrogant arse recently. Yes?'

He waited for her to nod her agreement before her continued.

'Now, because he is less of an arrogant arse, you have, _in my opinion_, begun to notice his good qualities because they are no longer hidden behind a layer of prickishness. And he has a_ lot_ of good qualities, many of which you yourself appreciate in a friend; he's loyal, kind, honest and obscenely clever when he can be convinced to apply himself. You have begun to appreciate that James may not be exactly how you have always imagined him to be, because you have always taken him at face value before and have never previously had the opportunity to know the James Potter that I consider one of the best friends I could ask for.'

Lily had straightened up a little in her seat as Remus had been speaking. This was good, this made sense. James had grown up a little and she was now seeing a side of him she wasn't used to seeing, and it had confused her and caused a strange aberration in her behaviour. She could deal with this.

James had done a nice thing for her – several nice things actually, between the listening, and the cake, and the funny stories to cheer her up – and she had felt compelled to do something nice for him in return, since they appeared to have become friends, so she had given him a once-in-a-lifetime, never-to-be-repeated, midnight New Year kiss. He had been in the kitchens trying to dig her out of her misery when he could have been doing something infinitely more enjoyable, so it was only fair that she offer him a friendly gesture in return.

Yes, that was it. Definitely. That made _sense_. She and James had begun to have more civil conversations than in previous years, and at some point they'd become friends.

She could handle friends.

Friends who'd kissed.

Best not to think about that probably.

She couldn't help but notice that Remus was watching her with a slightly concerned expression, and he looked relieved when she smiled faintly at him.

'Thanks Remus. That helped.'

He nodded slowly. 'Okay. I'm glad. I just want to say one more thing, and then I will be silent on this topic forever. Unless you bring it up again.'

She nodded at him, and he looked her straight in the eye as he spoke.

'The only person that actually knows how you feel about all this is you. Hackneyed, but true. Don't let anyone else's opinions become more important than yours. Don't try to be a certain way around James because that's what people expect; do what's best for you. Bugger everyone else.'

Lily broke out into a wide grin. 'Remus Lupin, agony aunt extraordinaire. Who'd have thought it?'

He grinned back, and judging the emotional crisis over, walked over to the door. He held it open and she rose from her chair and curtseyed gracefully before she slid out; he shut the door behind them and they headed out to continue their patrol.

'By the way.' Remus spoke quietly, glancing sideways at her. 'That last little bit of my rather spectacular speech in there? The bit about ignoring everyone else and thinking of yourself for once?'

Lily nodded as she strolled alongside him, looking up at him when he spoke. He smiled at her. 'That was pretty much stolen from a pep talk James gave me once. He's a surprising bloke, once you give him a chance.'

The two of them continued their rounds in thoughtful silence, both thinking about the same topic, but from vastly different approaches.

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**20****th**** January 1977, 7.25pm**

'You're such an arse Potter.'

He'd heard the words fairly often in their years together at Hogwarts, but he didn't mind so much these days because now she was_ laughing_ when she said them.

'I couldn't help it!' He protested with a barely suppressed grin. 'It was just such a bloody temptation. The man's a complete bastard, and even you laughed when his chair suddenly started tap dancing.'

Lily grinned to herself as she stared down at her parchment and added the finishing touches to her essay, careful not to let him see the smile on her face even though she was sure that he knew it was there.

James Potter was, she had discovered, extremely good at putting a smile on your face if you gave him an opportunity to do so.

'You still landed yourself with an additional essay to do.' She did her best to make her tone just a _little_ disapproving; she was still a prefect after all, and no matter how much of a bastard Professor MacGregor was – and privately she could admit that he was a _lot _of a bastard – she wasn't supposed to encourage disrespect towards staff members.

'Worth it.' James said grimly, his eyes fixed on his page but still flicking over to land on her every now and again. 'I've only had to miss this one Quidditch practice to finish it, and Padfoot can run drills as well as I can. Better, probably, since he's meaner.'

Lily snorted a brief laugh at that, and he poked her in the ribs, trying to pretend that he was annoyed with her instead of holding back laughter himself. 'Something you wanted to say, Evans?'

Her quill never stopped moving and her eyes didn't lift from the page. 'I've heard some of the team's nicknames for you,_ Captain_, and suffice to say they think you're _plenty_ mean enough.'

He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows at her. 'All in the name of winning the Cup darling. And flattening Slytherin.'

She shook her head, but kept her eyes glued to her page. 'Sometimes I wonder which of those is more important to you.'

James chewed the end of his quill and stared into space as he pondered the question. 'You know…it's a tough call. I think that's why I like to combine the two whenever I can.'

Lily let out another little snort as she continued to work quill over parchment. 'You're impossible.'

James grinned and leant towards her to whisper in her ear, wondering if he was about to make an error in judgement. Lily Evans could be hard to read. Still, the words demanded to be said. 'And you're beautiful, but I don't make an issue out of it now do I?'

Her head jerked up, and she immediately regretted that because she could feel her face flushing as the colour pooled in her cheeks and her quill dropped from suddenly numb fingers. He sat there grinning at her, still slightly inclining his body in her direction, one hand waving his quill languidly in the air. She remained silent for a moment until she felt sure she could speak without her voice shaking, then she straightened her spine like a good Gryffindor and spoke coolly.

'Actually, right at this minute you're doing precisely that.'

James carried right on grinning, fully aware that she was nowhere _near _as offended as she was pretending to be. He watched as she gathered her parchment and quill and stood up. 'And my work's done, and I need to get moving for rounds.'

She smiled sweetly as she brushed passed him. 'Enjoy finishing your essay.'

He just laughed._ Laughed_.

She stalked her way out of the library, muttering to herself and ignoring the odd looks she was getting. When had she lost the ability to tear a strip off James Potter when he needed it? It wasn't even that she couldn't find the words, it was that she didn't have the heart to say them.

There was something _extremely_ off-kilter here, and she wasn't sure she liked it, not one little bit.

She had told James a slight fib in that she had plenty time before her rounds began, but she'd needed to put a little breathing space between them. Mainly so she could focus on breathing normally again. So she wandered her way towards Gryffindor Tower, completely unhurried, allowing her mind to muse on the last few weeks.

The shock of seeing James Potter and Lily Evans have extended, _civilised_ conversations - which had been far more widespread than she'd expected over the first days of the new term - had apparently worn off now, and no-one asked her daft questions anymore, which she was sincerely grateful for, since she still had no real answers to give. But she recognised that she personally was no closer to understanding this odd new relationship she and James were forging, despite the clarity Remus had provided a week or so prior, and that was unhelpful to her state of mind.

And it was infuriating that James was completely unfazed by the sudden alteration in their relationship; or if he wasn't, he hid it extremely well. She just didn't understand how he could deal with things the way he did. She analysed and tried to separate the parts and understand every bit; she suspected that _preciseness_ was why she was better at Potions than he was. _He_ just looked at the whole, and decided to accept it, or not. She supposed that explained his aptitude for Transfiguration, always her weakest subject; she didn't like things that couldn't be dissected and scrutinized and understood in separate components.

Things like James Potter, who was far, far more complex a person than she'd ever realised or given him credit for. The bastard.

These thoughts carried her around a corner and straight into a tall lanky figure in black and Slytherin green.

He caught her elbow and helped her right herself before she could tumble to the ground, but then he let go of her immediately and took one step back.

'Lily.' He acknowledged her with a brief nod of his dark head.

'Snape.' She delivered his surname in frosty tones, her eyes cold and hard as she observed him. She didn't miss the slight flinch at the use of his surname rather than his given name. They'd not spoken since September; there was a chasm between them that no words could bridge now, so she simply nodded her thanks for his assistance and continued to walk towards her common room.

'Interesting company you're keeping these days.' He called after her, his voice low and without a hint of expression in it. If she hadn't known him as well as she did, she would have thought he was mocking her.

She stopped and turned slowly to face him once more, her expression carefully neutral. 'Too _pure_ for someone like me?'

Her expression may have remained neutral, but her tone was scathing and she saw the insinuation hit and the resulting scowl spread across his face.

'No. Just odd to see you slum it with that bunch of over-confident loudmouths.'

Lily matched his angry glare and scowled straight back at him. 'Well, I've discovered that I've been horribly wrong about my assessment of _some people's_ characters in the past, so I'm trying to be more open-minded about people I've previously judged. Turns out I should have chosen my friends rather differently.'

'Friends.' Snape curled his lip as he spoke the word. 'As if_ friends_ is what Potter is interested in. You're an idiot if you let yourself be a notch on his bedpost Lily.'

Hearing the words spoken so bluntly almost made Lily's jaw drop. Was that why people were looking at them strangely whenever she and James spent time together? Did they think she was sleeping with him?

No. Most people would accept that they had simply gotten over their…issues and developed a friendship. Most would understand that people – and their relationships with each other – could change over time. A prime example of that was stood in front of her right now.

'Interesting how you're focusing so much on my relationship with _James_, Snape. You aren't concerned that I'm going to jump into bed with Sirius or Remus then?' She snapped the words out, beyond furious with him for his blatant insinuations; regardless of whether she was or wasn't sleeping with James, or _anyone_ for that matter, it was none of his business. It was _nobody's_ business but hers, and she'd had _enough_ of people poking their noses into her life.

Snape didn't allow the words to antagonise him, though she did note the slight tightening of his jaw; that suggested to someone who knew him well enough to spot it that he was angrier than he appeared. He spoke again through slightly clenched teeth.

'_Potter_ is the one who's been chasing you all this time Lily. Not them. I strongly advise that you don't allow him to catch you. He's the type to get bored with his toys.' He gave her one last sneer before sweeping away towards the dungeons.

She stared after him for a moment and then turned to kick the wall, venting her fury with the world, before she turned and stomped her way towards the girl's dorm to find Marlene, and hopefully a large quantity of chocolate.

She hated January. The whole bloody, lousy, miserable month.

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**************A/N: So that's chapter 2; there should be thirteen chapters in all. Unless I get carried away and go for an epilogue as well. **

**************I'd love to know what you think, each and every review is appreciated. Or if you'd prefer, I'm on Tumblr as scared-of-clouds where I will happily answer any message, anonymous or otherwise. There's a link on my profile. **


	3. February

**************A/N: Another weekend, another chapter for you all. I will try to stick to weekly updates for this, but I feel I should say that updates might get a little sporadic because I've started working on the sequel to Turning Tables and so I'll be writing two fics at once; but I never abandon fics so it will be completed. At some point. **

**************Also, someone reviewed asking if they could make a translation but they weren't signed in so I couldn't reply directly. If it was you, please PM me!**

**************Anyway, on with another dose of fluffy Jily goodness!**

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**3****rd**** February 1977, 10.20pm**

Remus sighed and tugged a hand through his hair in frustration. The motion reminded him of James, and he found himself wishing that his friend was there, that way Sirius could badger _him_ instead.

He sighed loudly. 'Do we really need to go over this again?'

Sirius folded his arms and frowned at his friend, refusing to allow the matter to drop. 'Yes.'

Remus flopped back on the bed in defeat. Sirius was surprisingly persistent really, given his complete lack of attention span for most topics. The truly annoying thing was he only devoted his full attention and efforts to matters you'd really prefer he avoided.

He covered his face with his hands and groaned. 'Look, it's not difficult to understand, it's not complicated in any way; Lily and James got talking on New Year's when they were the only people in the common room. They are now friends. Tentatively so, but friends of a sort nonetheless. By extension, Lily has now begun to associate with all four of us. We are now all friends. All five of us. That's it. The end.'

Sirius snorted his disbelief. 'It is _not _Moony. There has to be more to it than that. Five years of more or less constant arguing about just about everything, and I'm meant to believe that one cosy little chat has them turn into bosom buddies? You must think I was born yesterday.'

Remus sighed heavily. 'Well, that's all I know, so if you're right and there's more to it than that, I'm just as much in the dark as you are.'

'You're a dirty rotten liar Moony. You and James both.' Sirius threw himself onto his bed in a sulk, and Remus sat up and reached for his book, silently and privately congratulating himself on managing once again to deflect Sirius' attentions.

The door to their dorm flew open to reveal James dragging Peter along behind him.

'Next time you want éclairs Padfoot, you can go yourself. Honestly avoiding Filch is a bloody nightmare, even with the cloak and the map. Merlin knows how we'd cope without them.' James shuddered and offloaded the bundle tucked under his arm onto Sirius' bed. Peter pulled a slice of cake from the bag he was carrying and silently offered it to Remus before planting himself on his bed and investigating the rest of the contents.

There was silence for a few moments until Peter spoke up, his eyes darting around the room as he took in Sirius' sulky pose, Remus' obvious nonchalance and James' expression, which was equally as bemused as his own. 'Okay, what'd Prongs and I miss?'

'Nothing.' Said Remus in a completely deadpan tone. 'Nothing at all.'

'Oh, bollocks Moony!' Sirius sat upright and faced James accusingly. 'I've been trying to get Moony to tell me the truth about whatever is going on with you and Evans, because he _bloody well knows_, and I'm hurt – _hurt_ James – that you wouldn't trust _me_, your best friend, enough to tell me as well.'

James stared silently at Sirius for a moment before transferring his gaze to Remus who shrugged helplessly. James turned back to face Sirius before he spoke.

'Padfoot…I haven't spoken one word to Moony about Evans except when you and Pete have been there as well. And I don't know how many times I'm going to have to repeat this, but there is nothing going on with me and Evans. We just…got talking somehow, and now we…talk more. More than we used to.'

He kept his eyes on Sirius as he spoke, then sighed and stuck a hand in his hair in an exasperated gesture that was almost identical to Remus' of only a few moments ago. 'And I have to admit, I'm pretty fucking happy that she actually seems to like talking to me these days, so I'm not exactly keen to question anything about it. I'm just…letting things happen. Seeing where they take me.'

'So you aren't dating?' Peter piped up, apparently only half-interested since he was eating cake and reading James' copy of Quidditch Monthly, and didn't even bother to look up to ask his question.

James directed his incredulous look to the room in general, apparently unable to credit the idiocy of his friends; with the noteworthy exception of Remus. He had to agree with Sirius there, Moony knew far more about all this than he was letting on, James could just _tell._

'If I was dating Evans, do you think I'd be keeping quiet about it? For that matter, would I be spending my evenings up here with you bunch of bastards? No. NO. NO. NO.'

The room was quiet for a moment; Pete continued to flip through the magazine, Remus picked the chocoball decorations off his slice of cake, and James and Sirius stared at each other across the room from their respective beds.

'But you still _want _to go out with her?' Sirius asked suddenly, and Peter and Remus' heads jerked up to observe James' response. Since the whole Snape/mudblood fiasco by the lake six months ago, James had been close-lipped about his crush on Lily, even with them. While it was common knowledge among the student body that James Potter liked Lily Evans, he was careful not to offer the gossips much else to work with, so very few people were aware of his real feelings on the matter.

James was silent for a moment, and the other three were sure he either wasn't going to answer, or he was going to brush them off with a joke like he normally did. They were all a little shocked when he answered quietly and apparently honestly.

'Yeah, I do. Nothing's changed; _she _hasn't changed. All the things I liked about her are still there, and I still like them. But…I like spending time with her now, and it seems like letting her know that I'd still like to go out with her would send her running for the hills, so I'm keeping it to myself. I'd rather be friends with her than nothing at all. And who knows?' He shrugged. 'Maybe she'll come around one day.'

Remus was privately quite sure – after his most illuminating discussion with her - that Lily was on her way to coming around and actually found himself agreeing with James' approach; far better to let Lily come to her own conclusions, in her own time, than to push her now. Lily Evans was just as stubborn as James Potter, and he was positive it would take her some time, and a certain amount of self-recrimination, before she was even capable of contemplating that she might have more than friendly feelings for James.

Sirius, on the other hand, was possibly the least patient, most impulsive wizard to have ever existed.

'Well that's crap. You should ask her to Hogsmeade for the Valentine 's Day trip. Let her know you're still interested; she might say yes. Besides, you don't want some other bloke asking her do you?'

'Of course I don't.' James sounded frustrated with his best mate's apparent inability to understand his motives. 'But the point is, _Lily might._ She might like someone else, she might _want _to go with someone else, and if I'm her friend, _I have to let her_.'

'James is right.' Interrupted Remus. 'Your dog side is showing Padfoot. You piss on a tree and mark it as yours, but you can't lay a claim on a girl just because you _want _her. I think what James is trying to say – extremely ineloquently – is that much as he wants Lily to go out with him, what he _really _wants is for her to_ want_ to go out with him.'

Sirius was silent for a moment and Remus had high hopes that his words had sunk in; until Sirius spoke again, his tone even more confused than before. '_What?'_

Surprisingly it was Peter who piped in this time, possibly because neither James nor Remus looked capable of trying to explain for a second time. 'What James wants is for Lily to feel the same way about him as he does about her. But he doesn't want to upset her or scare her off by _telling_ her how he feels, so he's just seeing what happens instead.'

There was a moment of silence between the four friends, then Remus pointed at Peter. 'Yeah. What he said.' He sounded a little dumbstruck.

'Yeah…thanks Wormy.' James gave his friend a confused look, and Peter acknowledged their thanks with a cheerful 'You're welcome.'

'Right. Okay.' Sirius spoke slowly. 'Does this mean that you're _not _going to ask her to Hogsmeade?'

James fell face first onto his mattress with a groan.

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**9****th**** February 1977, 2.30pm**

'That's really nice of you, Max, but I'm going with Marlene, Alice and Emma. Girl's trip. Thank you though.'

With one last smile, Lily backed away until she was around the corner and out of sight, then she moved as quickly as she could – without actually running – towards Gryffindor Tower. Max Roberts! She barely bloody knew the bloke.

There was something in the bloody water in this castle, there must be. Extra hormones or something, because she'd been asked to Hogsmeade by four different boys now, none of whom she was particularly well-acquainted with, and more importantly had never shown any interest in becoming _better _acquainted with. Each time she'd politely but firmly told them that she already had plans, even though she didn't.

Oh sure, she'd go with Marlene and the girls - if they didn't find dates between now and then - but they didn't have _plans_ as such. It had just been a convenient lie, since she hadn't wanted to tell any of them the actual truth; quite simply, she just wasn't interested. She didn't know why she wasn't; none of them had ever been anything less than nice and sociable when she had spoken to them, and they all seemed like clever, friendly guys. She just wasn't attracted to them, and really, what was the point of going on a date you couldn't get excited about?

She knew Marlene would lecture her about the subject; if she ever found out about it in the first place anyway. Lily could hear her now: 'You don't find a favourite pair of shoes without trying a few different pairs _on _darling. Experience as wide a variety as possible I say. Men are no different.'

She would argue, Lily knew, that you should go on dates even if you weren't excited about the idea because your initial feelings might be wrong. And she was right, Lily couldn't deny that; she just didn't have the energy or the inclination to date people on the off-chance that they might turn out to be fascinating.

She entered the common room, threw a cheery wave in the direction of the Marauders as she passed through – the way they very carefully made sure she couldn't see any of the parchment they were looking at made her immediately suspect a prank, but she couldn't be bothered to try and talk them out of it right now – and headed up the stairs to her dorm, where she leapt onto Alice's bed and stole a pillow to hug.

Her curly-haired friend smiled at her from her prone position at the foot of the bed. 'That bad?' she asked quietly, her quill continuing it's smooth strokes across her parchment.

'Would you bring me meals and all my work in here, so I don't have to leave again? Just for the next week?'

Alice smiled at her, one eyebrow raised questioningly and Lily sighed heavily.

'I know, I know. No hiding from your problems.' She huffed and leaned back against the headboard of Alice's bed. 'Besides, knowing my luck at the moment, if I stayed in here and only saw you lot, Emma will probably decide she's gay and ask me to Hogsmeade as well.'

'As well? How many people have asked you to Hogsmeade?'

'Four.' Said Lily grumpily. 'And I've no idea why, since I don't really know any of them – I'm not sure I've ever actually had a proper conversation with Lewis Peters before – and I don't know why they should have such an interest now.'

Alice laughed. 'Maybe you should just be flattered.'

'I just wish it was over already.' Lily squeezed her pillow a little tighter and pouted. She glanced up at Alice to see her friend giving her a sympathetic look.

'It's less than a week away.' Alice paused for a second and hesitated before she spoke again. 'If it helps, I can think of two possible ways to avoid the awkward invitations.'

'Oh?' Lily's head came up and she looked enquiringly in Alice's direction.

'One.' Alice held her index finger up in the air. 'Accept a date and let people know about it. Then no-one else will ask you.'

'But I'll have to go on a date I don't want to go on!' Lily protested, before falling silent again when Alice raised a second finger.

'Which brings me to option two: spend more time with the Marauders. Separately or together, it doesn't matter; no bloke is going to try and ask you out if one of them is around you, _especially _if it's James. I suspect that's why you're getting so many offers at once now; you've been with them a lot since Christmas, but this week you've been on your own or with one of us girls most often, so they probably see it as their opportunity. Blokes just don't ask girls out in front of other blokes.'

'So you're saying I should just hang around those four and use them as my personal bodyguards?' Lily spoke slowly, trying to see the logic in Alice's words.

'Yep.' Said Alice cheerfully, returning to her parchment. 'Or you could tell James they're annoying you and ask him to do something about it. Once he's hexed a few the rest should get the idea.'

'Thanks Ally, but I don't think I need to be encouraging James to start hexing people. Or any of them for that matter. They get into plenty of trouble all by themselves; I don't need to be the cause of any more.'

'Fair enough.' Said Alice evenly. 'But I have no more possible answers for you.' She gave Lily a sly look out of the corner of her eye. 'Unless you want to ask_ James_ to go to Hogsmeade with you. Then you could tell people that you're going with him, but you wouldn't have to worry about it being a date.'

Lily found herself briefly considering it, which actually shocked her; once she would have dismissed the idea of going to Hogsmeade with James Potter in a second, but now? James would happily agree to go with her, and he would accept that she meant it purely on friendly grounds; in fact, if she explained this whole sorry fiasco to him, he'd probably do it as a favour. A moment's clarity made her shake her head though; her friendship with James was odd enough without potentially complicating it further. Besides it wasn't fair to him; there might be girls he liked who'd take it the wrong way and assume he wasn't available. She didn't want to mess him around.

'That's still walking a bit too close to the date line for me Ally. I might just go for plan number two: attach myself to any available Marauder at all times.'

'Sounds fine to me.' Alice agreed, her eyes still on her work.

'Or Frank.' Said Lily deviously. 'I could try spending more time around Frank.'

'You could.' Alice agreed with unusual complacency. Usually it only took the mention of Frank's name to make her react, so this new calmness was odd.

'Alice…' Lily allowed her voice to trail off and waited for a reaction. She didn't get one. 'Alice Fortescue, I know something has happened, you tell me right now!' She jumped on her friend and pulled the parchment out of her reach.

There was a moment of all-out war as they wrestled for the parchment, but Lily's height gave her the advantage and eventually Alice flopped back on her bed, defeated.

'He asked me to Hogsmeade.'

Lily landed alongside her. 'Frank did?' Alice nodded, a smile breaking out as she stared up at the star map stuck on the canopy of her bed. 'He did. Finally.'

Lily rolled to face her. 'I'm forced to point out that _you_ could have asked _him_ at any time.'

Alice rolled her eyes in response. 'Do I look like Marlene? Can you imagine me _ever _doing something like that? It took me forever to get to the point where I could _speak_ to him without blushing.'

Lily laughed. 'Fair enough.'

She rolled off Alice's bed and headed for Marlene's. 'This calls for chocolate.'

'Well you won't find any there.' Alice said, interrupting Lily's rummaging. 'Marlene has moved her stash. She hid it under the spare bed and she hasn't realised I know yet.'

'Oh.' Lily turned to face the unused fifth bed in their dorm. She stayed where she was for a moment, then steeled herself and moved slowly across the room until she reached the neatly stripped bed; she reached underneath and pulled out the wooden box that Marlene hid her Honeyduke's sweets in. She retreated back quickly back to Alice's bed and the two girls each pulled something from the box.

They sat in silence for a moment before Lily spoke. 'It's weird that she's not here. It's so strange, to see her bed empty. I miss her.'

Alice smiled sadly. 'Yeah, me too. But it's no surprise that Mary didn't come back after OWLs really. Not after what Mulciber did; last year was hard on her.'

'I know.' Lily sighed. 'It would have been nice if all five of us stayed on, but I know that was unrealistic to hope for. This is just turning out to be an odd year, and I could do with being on more familiar ground.'

Alice threw an arm around Lily's shoulders. 'Last year was hard on you too, I know. On all of us really. A lot's changed. But this year can still be great; it'll just be different.'

'You can say that again.' Lily muttered under her breath.

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**14****th**** February 1977, 12.45pm**

Lily had privately decided that she hated Hogsmeade, Valentine's Day, teenage boys and all forms of romantic gestures.

She'd be the first to admit that she'd given a soppy little sigh at the sight of Alice drifting around holding onto Frank's hand for dear life and looking ridiculously happy; she'd also been pleased to see Emma with _Peter_ of all people - where had she been when that happened? - but she'd decided that while romance and all its complications were fine in her friends' lives, they were distinctly unwelcome in hers.

Marlene had wandered off to talk to some local Hogsmeade boys at the bar – boys who were almost certainly a couple of years older than them, since they most certainly didn't go to Hogwarts, and that left Lily alone at a booth in the Three Broomsticks, drinking a butterbeer and reading the Prophet.

That in itself was not the problem; Lily could think of few things she liked better than being left in peace to read the paper. No, the problem was, this was _Valentine's Day_, which meant pretty much everyone who didn't have a date was_ looking_ for one.

She'd eventually been forced to leave the pub after politely declining invitations to join them for a drink from both Lewis Peters – again – and David Dawson; she'd told them she was meeting a friend as a gracious method of avoiding telling them that she just didn't fancy them. She'd made up her mind to head back to the school and was walking along the main street when she saw Max Roberts, another of her erstwhile suitors, coming from the other direction. Realising he'd seen her - and had probably noticed that she was alone - she darted into the nearest alleyway between the shops and began to try and work out a route through the back alleys of Hogsmeade to the school.

She made a right hand turn into the next alleyway without really knowing where she was going, and promptly ran into a solidly warm, and very obviously masculine, body.

'Ooomph!' She felt his groan rather than heard it; whoever she'd run into had caught her before either of them fell and she was currently held tight to his chest as he regained his balance. When she was released from his grasp she took a step back to balance herself properly, then looked up into the warm hazel eyes of James.

'Evans.' He acknowledged her with a wink. 'You want to watch who you throw yourself at. A bloke could get the wrong idea.'

'Lily?' Max's voice called her name, and she could hear his footsteps approaching the section of alleyway she was standing in with James. Realising that if there was anyone who could get her out of this situation it was probably James, she threw herself towards him and grabbed two fistfuls of his jumper in her hands.

'For the love of everything magical, get me out of here before I start hexing people.' She begged, staring up at him pleadingly. To his credit, James neither questioned her nor hesitated; he simply reached into the deep inside pocket of his cloak and pulled out his invisibility cloak – that she hadn't seen since that fateful trip to the kitchens on New Year's Eve – and threw it over them both.

They stood, silent and unmoving, underneath the soft fabric, James holding one finger to his lips as a reminder that they could still be _heard_ under the cloak even though they were invisible, and Lily still clinging to his front, afraid to let go in case her movement gave them away. Max came around the corner, his eyes registering his confusion at her disappearance; he turned on the spot, obviously trying to catch a glimpse of where she might have gone, and Lily found herself holding her breath as he came closer. She closed her eyes in relief when she heard one of his friends call for him, and he turned and headed back towards the main street, muttering under his breath about seeing things.

Her breath came out in one whooshing gasp, and she looked up at James who was smiling down at her, his features betraying his amusement.

'What's going on Lily?' His deep voice was tinged with laughter, and she found herself scowling at him.

'I hate Valentine's Day. _Hate it._ It's not even a proper holiday!' She waved an arm for emphasis. 'Who even thought of it in the first place?'

'Er, Saint Valentine I think.' James mused. 'Though if you want someone to _really_ blame for all this mushy stuff, I'd go for Geoffrey Chaucer. He's the one who associated Valentine's Day with spouting off about your love for someone.'

Lily felt her scowl give way to cautious amusement. 'I take it you're not a fan either?'

He shrugged. 'I can take it or leave it. Most wizards can; its witches who love it normally.'

'Oh really?' Lily's tone was dry, one eyebrow raised in disapprobation.

'Well…' he amended quickly 'lots of wizards see it as an opportunity, so I suppose they like it for that reason. But in case you hadn't noticed, the burden of doing something romantic tends to fall on men; _we_ have to do something nice for _you_. We don't get anything, so why would we like it? It's hardly reciprocal.'

Lily snorted. 'Now that is definitely untrue. I'm pretty sure most men who go in for romantic Valentine's gestures are expecting to get _something _out of it. And I imagine a lot of them do.'

James smiled widely at her. 'Why Lily Evans, you're a cynic! I'd always had you pegged as a romantic.'

Lily felt her scowl begin to make a return. 'There is nothing_ romantic_ about a day of forced gestures of supposed affection. I think I prefer a little more originality in my life.'

'Me too.' Murmured James, his eyes lingering on her speculatively. They remained there for a moment and then Lily gave herself a mental shake and began to step round him and out from under the invisibility cloak.

'Well, lovely though this has been, I'm going to try and make my way back to the castle without being accosted.' He pulled the cloak off himself and turned to watch her walk away; he impulsively called after her without giving his words any real consideration.

'What if I made you a better offer?'

She froze on the spot, her mind whirring through dozens of possibilities, and more than a few reasons why she should just keep on walking, but something in his teasing tone made her turn to face him.

'What kind of offer did you have in mind?'

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**14****th**** February 1977, 3.10pm**

'It's beautiful up here.' Lily's voice was soft. 'It really is.'

She was sitting on a rock at the very edge of a clearing in the trees; from this point - about halfway up the long slope that separated the Forbidden Forest of Hogwarts and the more mundane woods of Hogsmeade – she could see the whole of the village stretched out below her, and beyond that she could see right across to the mountains. Despite the lingering chill of winter, it had been a clear, bright day, and sitting here in the cold air, laughing with James and listening to the birds, had been oddly relaxing after her stressful week.

'Thought you'd like it.' James was lying on the ground behind her, his eyes fixed on the sky as the sun began to dip behind the mountains.

She twisted her body slightly to look at him. 'How did you even know about this place?'

A smile twitched across his features. 'Found it. With the Marauders. You'd be surprised at some of the stuff we've done.'

'I don't doubt it.' She answered softly, turning her attention back to the mountains and the setting sun.

Another few moments of silence passed between them, though the birds still sang somewhere in the trees, and if she strained her ears hard enough she could hear very faint sounds of Hogsmeade. That reminded her of exactly how she'd ended up here with James, and she turned around on her perch to look at him again.

'Thank you.' She spoke quietly, and James wasn't wholly certain he'd heard her say anything at all. He propped himself up on one elbow.

'Did you just thank me for something?'

'For bringing me up here and showing me this. And for getting me away from Hogsmeade before I started throwing Unforgivables and ended up in Azkaban.'

James laughed. 'I don't think you'd have gone quite that far.'

'I wasn't far off.' Still, Lily felt the corners of her mouth twitch in response to his smile.

'Well, then obviously I am your knight in shining armour. I'm afraid I don't have any poetry to recite for you, or chocolates to give you, so you'll have to consider the view your Valentine's Day present.'

'I'll take it.' Lily glanced back over her shoulder at the view, and James took a moment to appreciate her profile as it was outlined by the setting sun before she turned back to him with a wicked grin. 'And it definitely beats last year's.'

'Last year's?' The question just about made its way out of his mouth before he remembered _last _Valentine's Day. '_Ah_. Well. _That_.'

'Yes, James. _That_.' Lily frowned at him with what he hoped was only mock sternness. 'That was ridiculous, even for you.'

He smiled at her innocently. 'I thought that poem was some of my best work actually. And having three first years recite it to you was a stroke of genius.'

She flushed slightly just at the memory. 'It was extremely rude and insulting. Not to mention _embarrassing_.'

James picked at the grass with one hand, his eyes focused on his small movements. 'It was meant to be. I was mad at you.'

Lily looked at him curiously. 'What about?'

He shrugged and kept his eyes on the ground. 'Can't remember now.'

He could; he'd been mad because he'd hexed Snape's nose with a Never-Ending Growth charm, and Lily had gone to town with her dressing down for that one. "Pea-brained, moronic arsehole" might have been the _most_ polite out of the insults she'd thrown at him. She hadn't given him a second to explain that Snape had been taunting Sirius about Regulus, and while he could recognise now that throwing a jinx at him hadn't been the answer, it had seemed wildly appropriate then. But then again, Lily could never understand the enmity between him and Snape, and he very much doubted she'd ever _fully _understand. He certainly wasn't going to explain.

He hadn't realised that there had been a long moment of silence between them until Lily broke it.

'It's been a bloody strange year hasn't it?'

He couldn't help laughing at that. 'Evans, you are the master of understatement.'

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**February 20****th**** 1977, 7.30pm **

'Hi Lily.'

The words made her jump; she'd been so engrossed in her book that she hadn't noticed Peter sit down opposite her.

'Merlin Pete, you made me jump! What is it with you Marauders and sneaking up on people?'

He grinned at her. 'It's a talent we all try to cultivate.'

She laughed lightly. 'Well it appears that you're all rather good at it.' Her heart-rate was slowing down, and she relaxed back onto the sofa. After a few moments she became aware of his eyes on her. She lowered her book again and looked at him.

'Something wrong Pete?'

'No, not really.' He spoke slowly, his eyes searching her face. 'At least, I don't think so.'

She felt her face crease up into a frown at his somewhat cryptic words. 'Sorry, I'm not really following.'

'I've just been wanting to talk to you that's all. I'm worried about James.'

She put her book down immediately and leaned towards him, green eyes fixed intently on him. 'Is he okay? Has something happened?'

Peter looked straight at her, his eyes unwavering. 'See, that…_that _is exactly what I'm talking about.'

Lily's confusion grew as she stared at the serious expression on his face. 'I'm still all at sea here Pete.'

He rested his lower arms on his thighs as he leaned in towards her. 'You and James. I don't know what's going on, and I'm not going to ask you to tell me. But as is obvious from your reaction there, you're friends now, and I'm hoping, really hoping Lily, that you know what that means to him.'

Lily stared at him, unable to think of anything to say in response. Peter looked back at her for a few moments, then spoke again with a hefty sigh.

'I don't think I can explain properly. Just…remember that James doesn't have a lot of boundaries when it comes to the people he cares about okay? He'll do just about anything for his friends, and since you're one of them now, there isn't much he wouldn't do for you.'

Lily felt her eyebrows rise, and she knew her bafflement showed on her face. 'I'm not quite clear why you're telling me this stuff Pete.'

His pale blue eyes were still boring straight into her. 'I just want to make sure that you know exactly how much you could hurt him if you decide to go back to hating him.'

'I never hated him.' Lily protested, but she got no further before Peter continued.

'I'm not so sure he knew that though. And he's so happy to be on good terms with you this year. Please don't mess him up Lily.' Peter hesitated. 'Thing is, Padfoot and Moony and me…we _need _James. We don't work without him; you have no idea how much he does for all three of us.'

Lily sighed. It was impossible to be mad at him when she understood exactly where he was coming from. You couldn't be angry at someone who just wanted to protect a friend. 'I don't plan on doing anything that could hurt James Pete.'

'I know you wouldn't do it deliberately Lily. Just…be careful with him. He's got a lot going on in his life, between his parents and school and everything; I don't think he'd deal well with any drama at the moment.'

He gave her a little smile as he got up and left, heading for the boy's staircase. Lily picked up her book again but found herself unable to concentrate on it now, so she flung it back down on the sofa alongside her and snuggled down into the cushions to watch the flames dance in the fireplace. She never thought she'd see the day when Peter Pettigrew sought her out to warn her not to hurt James Potter's feelings.

She understood that James had a lot to deal with; though he never really spoke about it, she knew his parents still weren't in the best of health, and that worried him more than he liked to let on. He was Quidditch Captain as well as being the mainstay of the team, and he was buried in NEWT coursework most of the time. And apparently he took a lot of personal responsibility for looking after his friends. She wasn't surprised by that; she'd criticised a lot of things about James Potter in the past, but something she could never have denied was his loyalty and unwavering dedication to his friends. And after the events of six months ago, she'd developed a healthy appreciation for people who stuck by their friends no matter what.

Over the course of the last six weeks or so she and James had become friends, she was well aware of that; she just hadn't been aware that she'd crossed the line between casual friend and close friend as far as he was concerned.

Still, it made no difference; they were friends, she had no plans to change that anytime soon and she knew James well enough now to know that he would sooner cut off a limb than do anything to upset a friend. So there was no need for Peter, or anyone else, to worry; she and James were fine.

And they'd continue to _be_ fine.

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**25****th**** February 1977, 8.25pm **

'Hurry it up Evans, the library's closing.' James tapped his watch as he spoke, and Lily raised one finger in the air as a silent request for him to shut up as her quill moved frantically across the page. They'd been buried in homework this week, and they'd only managed to complete it by helping each other out. As the only students in sixth year who'd taken six - rather than the normal five - NEWTs they'd discovered it was in their interests to work together on some of their assignments.

'Pince is going to drag you out by your hair if you don't get a move on, and we've only got thirty minutes before curfew anyhow; I'd rather avoid a detention if that's alright with you.'

Lily looked up, astonished. 'Since when did you care about the possibility of getting detention?'

James grimaced. 'I don't enjoy them. And I prefer to get them for doing something worthwhile, not something as mundane as breaking curfew.'

Lily laughed as she finally threw her quill into her bag and began to roll up her parchment. 'When you say you don't mind getting detention for something worthwhile, does that include charming the suits of armour to jump out at people?'

'I don't know what you're talking about Evans.' James answered. 'That doesn't sound like something I would do at all.'

She had to admire his poker face; there wasn't even a hint of amusement or smugness to betray him. She knew damn well that the Marauders were responsible for that little stunt – well, really, who else could it possibly have been? – but no-one, teachers included, could prove it.

She slung her bag onto the table and picked up the stack of books she'd been using, carrying them over to the nearest trolley for re-shelving. By the time she returned to the small table she'd been sharing with James, he'd already picked up her bag and was waiting patiently for her.

They left the library together, the last to leave but for a table of Slytherins that included Snape and Mulciber, both of who sneered at them as they went past. Lily heard the muttered 'mudblood' and 'blood traitor' from someone in the group, and looked at James apprehensively, but though the muscles in his jaw tightened and his knuckles turned white where they gripped her bag, he kept walking and ignored the insult.

Once they were out of the library, James let out an aggravated huff. 'You are a bad influence on me Evans. There was a time when I would have hexed each and every one of that bunch just for being stupid dicks.'

'I think that's called maturity James.'

He snorted. 'Well it sucks. Some people just need a good hexing.'

Lily threw him an exasperated look. 'Because _that _attitude has never got you into trouble before.'

He gave her a lopsided grin. 'What's life without a little trouble Lily?'

She rolled her eyes at him. 'You would say that.'

'Well, I am an expert in trouble, I think we can agree on that.' She felt the corners of her lips rise in response to him, and his grin widened as they walked together in comfortable silence.

They were most of the way back to Gryffindor Tower when he stopped next to a floor-length portrait, and Lily had gone a few steps before she realised. When she became aware that he wasn't walking alongside her anymore she stopped and turned; he had opened the picture as if it was a door and was now leaning into the passageway it revealed. She took a few steps closer, intrigued once again by his knowledge of the castle's secrets, and curious as to what had prompted the sudden stop, since he'd been so antsy about curfew earlier.

She came to an abrupt halt as he backed out of the passageway and turned back to face her, his arms full of white gardenias. He smiled at the look of surprise on her face.

'Well, you said you hated Valentine's day Lily. And that you would prefer a gesture of affection on a different day; 25th February seemed as good a day as any for me to give you a gift.'

He handed her the flowers, and she took them out of sheer shock. 'You got me flowers.'

'I did.'

She sniffed them discreetly, inhaling the sweet scent and trying not to smile too widely. 'And they aren't lilies.'

He couldn't help the snort. 'Please tell me people don't give you lilies. That's so lacking in imagination.'

'Why gardenias then?' she asked curiously, still not quite able to meet his eye and preferring to study the blooms in her hand instead.

'Is that what they are?' He sounded interested. 'I found a clearing in the forest where they grow, and they seemed like something you would like.'

He stepped forward and touched one of the petals. 'I mean, obviously I could have just transfigured any type of flower I wanted, but that just seemed impersonal. Compared to picking them, that is.'

'Yes, I suppose it is.' Lily murmured. 'James…what are these for exactly?'

He grinned. 'Does there have to be a reason?'

'In my experience, there's either a reason or a catch.'

He actually laughed out loud at that. 'There's that cynical streak again Evans. I love that about you.' He noted her disapproving look and quickly composed himself. 'There's no catch Lily. And if I need a reason to give my friends gifts – I don't, by the way – then the reason is that you haven't seemed as happy as normal recently, and I thought they'd make you smile.'

She looked down at the flowers, and back up at his face, smiling and sincere. 'Well they appear to have worked. So thank you, James.' She rose on her tiptoes and pressed a brief kiss to his cheek before stepping away extremely quickly; she remembered _very_ clearly how that escalated last time.

James cleared his throat before he answered quietly. 'You're welcome.'

They walked the rest of the way back to the common room in silence.

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**********A/N: So are you choking on the fluff yet? You can't say I didn't warn you!  
**

**********I would love to hear thoughts, opinions, criticisms - throw 'em all at me!**

**********Don't forget you can find me on Tumblr, there's a link on my profile.**

**********XX**


	4. March

******************A/N: Hello again guys, and here is your weekly dose of fluff - it _is_ tempered with a bit of angst this time. Sorry it's late, but I did update the TT sequel this weekend!  
**

******************I feel the need to apologise here before you start reading; I completely abuse a couple of foreign (foreign to me) languages in this chapter. There's only a sentence or two, but I'm sure that the grammar, spelling, _everything_ is horrible. If anyone actually speaks these languages and would like to PM me a correction, I will update it asap; I just didn't have time to find someone to check them for me. **

******************If they are your native languages, please forgive me for murdering your language!**

******************As always, thank you for reading. **

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**8****th**** March 1977, 6.00pm**

'Anyone seen Lily?' Marlene's voice echoed through the common room, but to her frustration she was met with a series of head shakes and shrugs. Flinging herself back down on the sofa she turned to face Alice.

'Where the hell is she then?'

Alice shrugged and turned another page of her magazine. 'Don't know. She's been wandering off by herself a lot the last day or so.'

Marlene huffed and folded her arms, and Alice looked up, unable to hide her amusement.

'I assume you wanted something from our dearest friend then?'

'I wanted her to check my potions essay. I think I may have written a load of complete bollocks, and I seem to be constantly in Slughorn's bad books so I could do with managing to turn in a halfway decent essay.'

Alice snorted an extremely unladylike laugh. 'Well, on the list of "ways to make the potions master dislike you", swapping all of his vials of Aconite fluid for Exploding potion probably comes quite high.'

'That was months ago!' Marlene protested. 'He can't still be holding a grudge about that.'

'But it did ruin pretty much all his lessons for an entire week, Marly my love.' James landed on the sofa next to Alice. 'A prank worthy of the Marauders by the way, if I forgot to tell you at the time.'

Marlene sighed as she stared at the roll of parchment in her hand. 'Well, I'm doomed then. Without Lils to check my essay, it will remain a stinking pile of crap and Slughorn will finally have an excuse to kick me off the NEWT course.'

James raised an eyebrow at her. 'Aren't we melodramatic? Just get Moony to look at it for you, he's a whiz at potions.'

'Really?' Marlene perked up as she began to scan the room for Remus' distinctive mop of sandy hair.

'Really.' Nodded James. '_And _he's much too nice to say no if you ask him. I'll go get him for you, he's over there with Sirius.'

James started to rise from his seat, but Marlene tugged him back down by the arm. 'No, no, I'll go over and ask him. He's with Black you say?'

James' lips twitched, but that was the only outward sign of his amusement. 'That's right, over at the table by the window.'

Marlene rose to her feet and ran a hand through her hair as she sauntered predatorily over towards the window. 'Remus darling!'

James managed to stifle his laugh but Alice let out a helpless little giggle.

'I almost feel sorry for Sirius.' She said quietly, her face still touched with amusement. 'He might just have met his match in Marlene.'

'She's not going to make him jealous by flirting with Moony; he doesn't really work that way.' James stretched out and put his feet up on the coffee table.

'Your mother would whack you if she saw you with her feet up on the furniture.' Said Alice. 'And I don't think she's really trying to make him jealous as such, I think she's just trying to show him what he's missing out on.'

James let his head drop back so that he was staring up at the ceiling, his shoulders and neck supported by the back of the sofa. 'Maybe you're right. Still, it's _Sirius._ Subtlety is _not_ his strong point; she might just have to be up front with him.'

Alice snorted. 'Yes, I can see how that would go. "Hi Sirius, I think you're fit and I fancy a snog. What do you reckon?" How nice.'

James grinned. 'That approach has its advantages I'm sure.'

Alice put her magazine down and stared at his profile for a minute. 'Why haven't you tried it on Lily?'

He straightened up and turned to face her, staring at her with incredulous eyes. 'I'm sorry, did you somehow manage to miss_ every_ occasion I asked her out last year?'

Alice frowned at him. '_No-one _could have missed those James, most were pretty ostentatious. No, I meant this year; you have a much better relationship now. Why haven't you just told her you like her?'

'Who says I do?' James scowled at her.

'First of all James, I have known you since we were about five so I like to think I can read you pretty well by now. Secondly, I see the way you look at her when you think she's not looking, and thirdly; you got her flowers for absolutely no reason apparently.'

'That was a friendly gesture.' James folded his arms across his chest defensively.

'Oh, of course it was. Silly me.' The sarcasm dripped off Alice's tongue. 'Because of course you get all your female friends flowers don't you? I mean, Marlene and I were just the other day discussing how many giant bouquets of flowers you've picked – picked! – for us in the past.'

'Knock it off Ally.' James sighed. 'It doesn't matter that I like her, because she doesn't like me, and frankly I've decided I'll just take friendship over fighting, if that's all I can get.'

Alice stared at him for a moment before slumping back in her seat and sighing loudly. 'I'm surrounded by idiots.'

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**12****th**** March 1977, 7.50am**

Lily looked up from her silent contemplation of her porridge as Remus slid into the seat next to her at the Gryffindor table.

'Morning Lily. You haven't had any of the pumpkin juice have you?'

Startled by his unexpected appearance and confused by his question, it took Lily a moment to gather her thoughts and provide a coherent answer.

'Morning Remus. No, I haven't had any, I don't really like it.'

'Good.' Remus nodded approvingly and the leaned in towards her a little. 'Trust me, no matter what anyone says, you _do not_ want any of the pumpkin juice.' He sat up straight again and began to examine the available food.

'Okay.' Lily looked at her friend, now stacking his plate with toast and whistling cheerily. 'Remus, are you alright?'

'Mmm?' He looked up at her and smiled. 'Oh, I'm fine. Bit worried about _you_, but I'm fine.'

'Me?' Lily knew she looked a little alarmed, but she couldn't help it; he'd startled her with that unexpected change in direction.

'Yes, you.' He answered, turning slightly in his seat to face her. 'Since when did you eat meals alone? And you haven't spent time in the common room at all this last week, and you barely say a word in class. It's not like you. Is something wrong? Because you know you can talk to me if there is.'

Lily summoned up an insincere smile. 'No, there's nothing wrong.'

Remus studied her face for a moment, and she knew she hadn't fooled him, but he nodded and turned back to his plate. 'Okay. I will pretend to believe you if you _promise _me that you will talk to someone if you need to. Doesn't have to be me, just someone.'

Lily stared down at her plate. 'Deal.'

Their quiet conversation was interrupted by the rather loud arrival of the other three Marauders; James, Sirius and Peter slid onto the bench directly across from them and fell on the food as if they hadn't eaten in months.

'Moony. Red.' Sirius seemed to be in extremely good humour today, and Lily acknowledged his greeting with a raised eyebrow and a brief nod.

A few minutes later they were joined by Marlene and Emma, and following along behind them was Alice, unsurprisingly with Frank in tow.

Once they were all eating and conversation had become rather subdued, Sirius picked up the jug of pumpkin juice and rather ostentatiously poured himself a glassful.

'Anyone else for pumpkin juice?' he asked loudly, holding the pitcher up. 'Lily?'

Lily gave Remus a rather startled look before she gained control of herself and answered calmly. 'No thank you Sirius, I'm not very keen on it.'

He looked bemused for a minute, then shrugged and calmly repeated his offer further down the table. Both Alice and Emma held their glasses up to be filled, but Frank merely looked suspicious and picked up the water jug instead, while Marlene grabbed the orange juice from next to Lily's elbow. Sirius drank his juice in several quick gulps and promptly returned to his breakfast.

'James, what time is Quidditch practice?' Frank called out, leaning past Alice to see his Captain.

James' head came up and he grinned at his fellow chaser. '5:00pm Frank. I managed to get the pitch right up until 8:30, so we ought to be able to get in a decent session for a change.'

Alice groaned. 'Je voudrais voir mon copain de temps en temps. Ne peut pas vous avez moins pratiques si ells vont etre plus aussi bien?'

For a minute nobody spoke. Then Frank broke the awkward silence. 'What was that love?'

Alice looked round at everyone's confused faces and spoke again, brandishing her fork for emphasis.

'J'ai dit: Je voudrais voir mon copain de temps en temps. Ne peut pas vous avez moins pratiques si ells vont etre plus aussi bien?'

Another moment of silence, broken only by the sound of Sirius pretending not to snigger, then Lily turned to Remus, the only person at the table she knew for sure had visited France.

'I don't suppose you understand what she's saying?'

James voice broke in from opposite her. 'She said: "I would like to see my boyfriend occasionally. Can't you have less practices if they're going to be longer as well?" More or less anyway.'

Lily's head turned to face him. 'You speak French?'

He smiled at her. 'Oui. I'm fluent. Some of Mum's relatives are French, and I had lessons when I was little. It's a nice language.'

'Yes it is.' She murmured, her eyes fixed on him.

Emma leaned forward and rushed a sentence out. 'Je kan vlot James, maar Alice is niet. Waarom is ze Frans spreken?'

All eyes turned to James, who held up his hands. 'I speak French, that's it. And that is most definitely not French. It sounded sort of like German to me.'

'Why is she speaking German?' Lily demanded, her eyes darting between the Marauders. Emma and Alice were now both looking quite alarmed as they realised that they were apparently speaking the wrong language.

'I think it might have been Dutch actually.' Said Frank. 'Not that any of us speak that either.'

Sirius grinned as he looked round. 'Esto es divertido.'

Lily's eyes darted back to James, who shrugged. 'Spanish I think. Maybe Portuguese? Either way; not French, so I haven't a clue.'

'What the bloody hell is going on?' Lily turned in her seat to take in the rest of the Great Hall, and noted a number of puzzled faces and more than a fair few angry shouts. Shouts, she now realised, that weren't all in English. Looking up to the teacher's table, she was sure that Slughorn was currently speaking Welsh – she'd heard her grandparents speak it often enough to recognise it, if not to understand it – and Dumbledore looked extremely amused by the whole turn of events.

Suddenly remembering Remus telling her that she didn't want any pumpkin juice, and Sirius pouring glasses for Alice and Emma, she swivelled back to face the Marauders and glowered.

'You put something in the juice didn't you?'

It was Peter who answered. 'Just a few common potions - that aren't normally taken together - in the correct proportions. It's harmless; just makes you say everything in another language.'

Lily glared at them all. 'You're idiots, you know that? Really, bloody stupid morons. You just can't take life seriously can you?'

She rose from her seat and stomped from the Hall, leaving her rather confused friends staring after her.

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**13****th**** March 1977, 8:40pm**

Marlene was lounging disconsolately in front of the fire with Emma when Alice came back in to the Gryffindor common room. Her curly-haired friend sat down next to her on the rug and shook her head.

'Can't find her anywhere.'

They all sat and stared into the fire for a few moments, thinking back over the last two days. Lily had stomped out of the Hall at breakfast yesterday, apparently thoroughly annoyed with the Marauders over their prank. That in itself was odd; it was fairly harmless, actually quite amusing in its own way, and she had relaxed a lot about the boy's behaviour over the last few months, so an explosion of temper over something like this was peculiar to say the least.

Then, even more strangely, she'd spent the whole day obviously avoiding all of them, even the people who'd had nothing to do with the prank. She'd sat away from them in classes, had dashed out of each one before anyone could speak to her and hadn't come to any meals.

This had continued on through today, and now curfew was rapidly approaching and she hadn't come back to their common room; they were officially worrying.

Marlene suddenly sat up straight. 'We are so stupid.'

'What?' Alice's voice was startled, as she watched Marlene stand up and begin to scan the common room.

'We've spent all this time looking for her, and we didn't think to ask the people who could probably actually help us find her.'

Alice's eyebrows drew together. 'I repeat: what?'

'She means the Marauders.' Emma spoke suddenly. 'They know this castle probably better than anyone. There's nowhere Lily could be that they couldn't find her.'

The three girls continued to scan the common room for the four boys, but couldn't see any of them.

'Ugh. We'll have to go up to their room then.' Marlene shivered. 'That's a sight I could have gone the rest of my life without.'

'Hey, for all you know it's perfectly clean and tidy.' Alice grinned as she spoke, and Marlene stuck her tongue out in response.

'Does that mean you're volunteering to go up there, Alice dear?'

Alice grimaced. 'Only if there's no alternative. What if Frank sees me going into another boy's dorm room?'

Marlene began to giggle. 'Well, if Frank could honestly believe that you were cheating on him with one of those four, then he's slightly crazier than I give him credit for.'

Emma just rolled her eyes, used to the strange bickering between the girls. '_I'll_ go.'

She wandered over to the boy's staircase and ignored the whistles she got when she started to climb them.

She reached the sixth year boys door, and knocked slightly sheepishly, ignoring the strange looks she got from two boys who were heading down the stairs. There was a bang from the room, followed by the sound of a voice swearing, then the door opened to reveal James, his glasses askew and his hair even messier than usual.

'Emma?' he squinted at her, and her name sounded more like a question than a greeting.

'Yeah. Hi.' She paused for a moment. 'Okay, this is weird.'

James nodded once. 'Yes it is.' He waited patiently for more information.

'We need your help.' Emma spoke quietly and James frowned briefly before stepping aside and gesturing for her to come in.

The room was far tidier than she was expecting, but it was also empty except for James. He gave her a crooked grin. 'The others are in the library. Moony is tutoring Padfoot and Wormy in the hope that they might _actually_ pass the Herbology test with his help.'

Emma gave him an uncertain smile back. 'And you aren't helping?'

'I don't exactly have the patience for tutoring that pair. Other people, no problem, but those two? I'd rather pull my toenails out one at a time.'

He sat down on the edge of his bed and looked at her intently. 'You said you needed help?'

'Oh.' Emma was startled to remember that she had come up for a reason. 'Yes, we can't find Lily.'

James visibly stiffened up at the mention of her name. He arched an eyebrow at her. 'So you came up here because…?'

Emma had to admit it, she was a little surprised at the sudden slight coldness of his tone. 'Well, you guys know the castle so well, and since we can't find her we thought that she might be somewhere really odd, that maybe one of you would know?'

Recognising the doubtful tone that was creeping into her voice, she trailed off and waited for a response. James looked at her for a moment before he turned his head and fixed his gaze on the wall.

'If you can't find her, she probably doesn't want to be found. And she certainly doesn't want to _speak_ to any of us, so maybe we should all leave her to whatever her problem is.'

'I get that you're frustrated with her at the moment, we all are, but she's not herself and you know it. She's been spending so much time off somewhere alone, and she barely speaks. She's been like it for days.' Emma spoke quietly, her eyes fixed on the side of his face. 'There's something wrong, and maybe she _doesn't_ want to talk to us about it, but we can't just leave her to it. You're the person who's most likely to be able to find her, so please?'

James sighed. 'I _know _I can find her, but I'm probably also the last person she wants to see. You saw her at breakfast yesterday, and how she's been ever since; she's mad at me. I think it's best to leave her be.'

Emma sighed in frustration and folded her arms across her chest. 'You listen to me James Potter – she's _not_ mad at you, she's not mad at any of _us_, not really. Something is wrong, and whatever it is, it's making her act like a nutter at the moment, but I _know _you don't abandon your friends just because they're acting a little strangely, _do you_? '

James remained frozen for a moment, probably processing the change in tone; Emma was fully aware that most people considered her the quietest and probably the softest of her friends, but that didn't mean that she didn't have claws when necessary. After a long moment, he sighed and stood up.

'I'll go and find her. _And _I'll get her back here without being caught out after curfew, but I am going to tell her that _you_ made me, and _you_ can deal with whatever fucking temper tantrum she's inevitably going to have at me.'

Emma nodded her thanks as she headed for the door. 'See you both soon then.'

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**15****th**** March 1977, 4:00pm**

'You know, I'm getting a bit sick of your friends invading my bedroom and demanding that I find you Evans.'

Lily leant her head back against the wall and rolled her eyes.

'Then ignore them James. I'm perfectly fine.'

He snorted. 'Of course you are.' He looked at her slumped shoulders, took in the way her arms were wrapped around her torso and observed her pale and drawn face; he moved towards her and slid down the wall until he was sitting alongside her. 'That's why you're sitting alone at the top of the astronomy tower on a Sunday afternoon.'

They sat in silence for a few moments, staring out over the grounds. The distant voices of students enjoying their Sunday drifted up to them, and they both kept their eyes resolutely away from each other.

Until James heard a small sob.

His head spun around just in time to see Lily awkwardly wiping her cheek with her sleeve. He pulled out a handkerchief and offered it to her wordlessly; she took it but sat there twisting it between her fingers rather than wiping her tears. He had no idea what to do with the girl beside him, no clue where he could start in trying to fix whatever was wrong. He'd seen Lily Evans cry before, that was true, but he'd never seen her look so _broken_ as she had these past couple of weeks.

But he had to try, because she couldn't go on like this, and he couldn't bear to watch it anymore. He gave her a minute to compose herself before he spoke again. 'Do you want to talk about it?'

'No.' Her voice was small, but at least it wasn't as distant as it had been recently. He looked down at his hands, until he realised a moment later that she had dropped his handkerchief into her lap and was now holding out a folded piece of paper. He took it and began to gingerly unfold it, glancing at her to be sure he was supposed to look at it.

**_Lily,_**

**_I'm afraid there have been some difficulties; namely that Mum is insisting that I ask you to be a bridesmaid. As I said in my last correspondence, under no circumstances will I do so - I will not allow you to upstage my wedding with your peculiarities. _**

**_I can't tell Mum that of course, so you will write and tell her that you don't want to be my bridesmaid. Make up an excuse, tell her you can't because of school, I don't care what you say, but you are not going to be in my wedding party. Vernon would never allow it, even if I wanted you. _**

**_ I'd rather you didn't come at all, but she'll insist on that I suppose, and the family might ask questions if you were absent. You need to have a date to keep the numbers even, so I'll find one of Vernon's cousins for you, unless of course you can find someone suitable. I'll make the concession of allowing you to bring your own date if you can find one, but don't you dare embarrass me by bringing someone inappropriate. _**

**_Write that letter soon, I need to be able to finish my plans properly and I can't while Mum thinks you'll be part of my wedding._**

**_Petunia_**

James was silent for one long moment as he re-read the letter. 'Well, your sister is a piece of work isn't she?'

Lily laughed, but it was mirthless. 'Isn't she though?'

He looked at her through the corner of his eyes; she was staring straight ahead of her, her eyes unfocused and glistening with tears. He remembered that conversation on New Year's Eve, and knew that these were not the first tears that she'd shed because of her sister, and he doubted they would be the last.

'Look, Lily…' He trailed off almost as soon as he started, completely out of his depth and unsure how to handle this. In the end, he decided honesty was about the only thing he could offer her. He didn't consider emotional support one of his strengths. 'Lily, you can't let her upset you this much. You're barely eating, I _know_ you're not sleeping properly and you're avoiding all your friends when you should be _talking to them_. I mean, bloody hell, I'm a _bloke _and even I can spot emotional avoidance when I see it.'

Lily continued to stare vacantly ahead. 'I just don't want to talk about it. I just want…'

Her sentence stopped there, and when it became clear that she wasn't planning on saying anything else, he sighed and stood up. He dusted himself down and turned so that he was standing directly in front of her, towering over her, hands tucked into his pockets.

'Well, I don't know what it is that you want Lily – not that that's surprising, because I've _never _known what you want – but what you're _doing_, is wallowing.'

Lily's head rose sharply, and she lifted her chin defiantly. 'Excuse me?'

James felt a little internal swell of optimism at the fact that he'd managed to provoke a reaction – the Lily Evans he knew was still in there somewhere apparently - but he was careful not to let the emotion show on his face.

'Everyone's got _problems_ Evans.' He folded his arms and looked at her sternly. 'You have a harpy for a sister, that's true; Sirius has a harpy for a mother _and _a moron for a brother. Remus has a rather significant furry little problem, and Pete's grandparents are both in the hospital with Dragon Pox. I don't really know about Marly, or Alice, or Emma, but I bet they all have a plateful of crap to deal with too. That's just _life _Lily, and it sucks, but you didn't really think it was going to be sunshine and roses did you?'

She stared incredulously at him for a long moment, and he stared right back, refusing to drop his gaze from her eyes. She opened and closed her mouth, then lowered her eyes for a moment before looking up and making eye contact again.

'When, precisely, did you become a voice of reason in my life?'

He grinned, relieved at the very _Lilyness_ of the remark. 'When you _stopped_ being reasonable I suppose.'

She tilted her head back so it was resting against the wall behind as she stared up at the sky, watching the birds in flight above their heads.

'What do I do James?'

He moved across the tower and perched on the balustrade directly across from her. 'Do you think there's any way you can change her mind?'

Lily snorted. 'No.'

'Then you have to accept it.' He clasped his hands together in front of him and twined his fingers together. 'Would your mum be upset if you told her the truth? If you told her that Petunia didn't want you in the wedding and asked you to make an excuse?'

'Of course she would.' Lily's tone sounded tired now. 'She wants her two girls to be great friends, and she's convinced it's possible.'

James nodded. 'The way I see it, you have three options. One; refuse to write to your mother and let her force Petunia into making you a bridesmaid, which will probably result in her resenting you and being awful to you. More awful.' He corrected himself. 'Two; write and tell your mother what Petunia has asked you do, which will presumably result in a row that will upset all three of you?' He looked to her for confirmation, and she nodded miserably.

'Or three; write to your mother, tell her that you have a huge amount of schoolwork and that Petunia ought to pick another bridesmaid who can help her more with the organising. That's what bridesmaids do right?'

Lily nodded again, looking thoughtful now. 'I presume you think I should go for option three?'

James shrugged. 'I'm just laying them out for you; it's your choice to make. But if you're asking me if I would go with option three, then yes I would; it's the path of least resistance. It'll make your sister happy – well, sort of – and it wouldn't upset your mother.'

Lily returned to staring up at the sky. 'I suppose you're right.'

James stood up and tucked his hands in his pockets again. 'I often am. And you should talk to your friends about all this; they're worried about you.'

He began to move towards the door. 'I'll be seeing you at dinner?'

She gave him a very weak smile. 'Yes. I'll come to dinner.'

'Good. I'm sick of trekking round this sodding castle to find you every time you disappear and your friends panic.'

A thought occurred to Lily. 'How do you do that?'

James paused at the door to the stairwell, one hand resting on the handle. 'Do what?'

'Find me all the time.'

He smiled at her, the first real smile he'd given her in three days.

'Trade secret.' And then he was gone.

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**20****th**** March 1977, 6:30pm**

Marlene scowled at the parchment in her hand. 'Well, isn't your sister a prize bitch?'

Lily actually giggled slightly. 'That's almost exactly what James said.'

'He knows about all this?' Marlene asked curiously.

Lily blushed a little, a fact which did not go unnoticed by Marlene, but she restrained herself from commenting on it. 'Yeah. He always seems to catch me at vulnerable times, and somehow I end up pouring this stuff out at him. It's a wonder he doesn't avoid me like the plague.'

Marlene smirked. 'Like that's _ever_ going to happen.'

The two girls were stretched out across Marlene's bed, sweets and magazines strewn between them, so it was easy for Lily to grab one of her pillows and clock her across the head with it.

'Can I read the letter?' Alice asked from her bed, where she and Emma were trying to practise transfiguring pens into feathers.

'I will read it aloud for you.' Marlene announced. 'That way you will be able to _fully _appreciate the sheer bitchiness of this letter.'

She proceeded to read Petunia's letter out loud, in an unflattering and - to Lily's mind - unnecessarily high-pitched voice. By the time she'd finished, Alice and Emma had stopped their attempts at transfiguration and were simply listening disbelievingly.

'Oh sweetie, no wonder you were upset.' Alice sounded ready to cry on Lily' behalf, but she waved their concerns away, sitting up on the bed and pulling her hair back up into a ponytail.

'I was upset; I was _really _upset, but I think I've got most of it out of my system now. I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you; I'm just so embarrassed by it.'

'What do you have to be embarrassed about?' Asked Emma gently. 'It's not like you're the only one who's got a pig of a relative you know. One day I'll introduce you to my Aunt Leticia.' She wrinkled her nose in disgust.

Lily laughed. 'Thanks, but dealing with _my _family is enough for me; I'll leave yours to you.' She sighed heavily before she continued. 'I just don't like talking about it; when I'm here, I can sort of put it to the back of my mind and pretend that Petunia doesn't hate me, but then something reminds me and it's horrible. It just feels so stupid to be upset by something so trivial as not being a bridesmaid.'

'But that's not why you're upset is it?' Alice said shrewdly. 'You're upset because you're not close enough for her to _want _you to be a bridesmaid, and because she was so unashamedly horrible about the whole thing.'

Lily smiled sadly. 'Still, I should be used to it by now shouldn't I?'

Emma shook her head. 'I don't think you ever get used to someone treating you like dirt. Or you shouldn't, anyway.'

Alice smiled and reached across the gap between the beds for Lily's hand. 'We're just glad you're feeling better, and that you told us. We just want to make sure you're okay Lil.'

Lily smiled at her friends, and tried to ignore the prickling of tears behind her eyes. 'I know, and I love you for it. I'm sorry I've been so insane for the last couple of weeks. I'm sorry, I really am…'

Her voice broke, and Alice hurried to sit next to her and put an arm around her shoulders. Marlene frowned, and turned to face her bedside table; she began to root around behind it, hanging over the edge of her bed.

Emma raised her eyebrows at the sight. 'Marlene, what in the name of Circe are you doing?'

'This conversation needs more chocolate.' Came the slightly muffled reply.

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**27****th**** March 1977, 9.30pm**

Lily strolled through the upper floors of the castle, taking her time as she followed her usual night-time patrol route. It had been oddly quiet for a Friday – not a single snogging couple turned out of a broom cupboard – and she let her mind wander.

She'd barely seen James all day; Fridays were the only day of the week when they had no lessons together at all, and James always scheduled Quidditch practice directly after classes on a Friday afternoon, much to the very vocal disgust of his team. James may have felt that three gruelling hours on a broomstick was the best possible way to start your weekend, but the rest of the Gryffindor team were not exactly in agreement with him.

Sirius had smirked quite obnoxiously when she'd knocked on their door just before her rounds to see if James was there; he'd then proceeded to tease her mercilessly - "If you're going to turn up at Prongs' bedroom door, you could at least be gift-wrapped" – until Remus had cuffed him across the back of the head with a book and politely informed Lily that James had received a letter and had gone somewhere quiet to read it. He aimed a pointed look at Sirius as he spoke, and that started an argument about how loud was "too loud", which was only interrupted when Peter accidentally transfigured his school trunk into an abnormally large hare that immediately began to wreak havoc on their belongings.

'Chair! I was quite clearly intending to turn it into a _chair_!'

Lily had left them to it at that point, heading out on her rounds and hoping to cross paths with James at some point. She knew he tended to wander the upper corridors when he needed to think about things, so there was a fair chance she'd come across him, but she also knew he'd more than likely be under his invisibility cloak since it was after curfew; she could only hope that he'd reveal himself if she _did _pass him.

As it happened, she needn't have worried. She turned the corner into the next corridor, and spotted a figure sitting in the window at the far end. That profile of messy hair and glasses was unmistakable, and she walked towards him; his head jerked up as he heard footsteps approach, and his face relaxed into an easy smile at the sight of her.

'No cloak?' she asked as she neared him. His grin grew a little wider.

'Oh, I have it with me, but I don't need it. Friday is your patrol night for up here, and you're not about to put me in detention are you?'

Lily arched an eyebrow. 'A teacher could still come by.'

'And I'd have time to get under the cloak. Do you doubt me Evans?'

'No, not really.' She murmured, almost entirely under her breath. James smiled and straightened up to make room for her to sit; she dropped down next to him with a sigh.

'I'm an awful prefect. I should be yelling at you right now for being out after curfew.'

'Better an awful prefect than a hypocrite.' James winked at her. 'Don't forget, I _know_ you've snuck around the castle after curfew before.'

Lily rolled her eyes. 'Yeah; _with you_.'

'Are you saying I'm a bad influence?' James rolled up the piece of parchment he was holding.

'Yes. You are, and you positively revel in it.'

He said nothing, but rested his head against the wall and kept smiling at her.

'Stop it.' She said firmly.

'Stop what?'

'That.'

'I'm not doing anything.' He held his hands out innocently.

'Stop smiling at me!'

James laughed. 'Evans, you're bonkers, you know that? I could scowl at you if you like.'

'No, just stop giving me that smug smile; it makes you seem too much like Sirius.' She shuddered, then held up a finger as something suddenly occurred to her. 'And you might want to avoid your dorm room for a while.'

James' forehead creased into a frown. 'Why?'

Lily pictured the scene in the sixth year boy's dorm in her head. 'Trust me, you don't want to know.'

'Okay.' He nodded slowly. 'I'll trust you on that one.'

They sat quietly for a moment, enjoying the feeling of peace that each felt in the other's company, until Lily felt the need to break the silence. 'Remus said you'd gone to read a letter. Good news I hope?' she asked lightly.

He leant back and shook his head. 'Nothing in particular, just a letter from my parents.'

'How are they?' Lily asked, remembering that they'd both been hospitalised at Christmas.

'Okay. Better.' He paused for a moment. 'Just…too old to be doing a dangerous job in a slightly mad world. Not that you can tell them that; both too bloody stubborn to accept it.'

Lily was quiet for a moment at that, tucking her hands into her cloak and just looking at his expression, which for once was totally impossible to read; there was nothing she could say and she knew it. So they sat for a few moments more until one of her hands touched a bulge in the lining of her cloak, and she was suddenly reminded of why she had been looking for James in the first place.

She pulled the small wrapped package out from her cloak and held it out for him.

'Happy birthday.'

He reached out for it, smiling at her slightly embarrassed expression. He placed it onto his lap and held it there, but made no move to open it. 'Thanks. You, ah, you didn't have to. I wasn't expecting anything.'

She shrugged. 'I know. I wanted to. And you bought me a birthday gift remember?'

She held up her wrist for him to see the bracelet made of red and gold woven cords, with its little gold charm in the shape of a lion; she'd worn it most days since he'd given it to her, fascinated by the way the little lion would roar when someone came too close.

He grinned at her. 'Well, you're such a Gryffindor, it seemed incredibly appropriate.'

'Well, I'm afraid you didn't get anything close to this imaginative.' She bit her lip as he began to peel the wrapping paper off, watching his reactions nervously.

'Quidditch gloves.' He smiled at her. 'Mine are just about worn through.'

'I know. Sirius told me when I was screaming at him for help picking you something out. Actually, he chose them out of the catalogue, I just paid for them. He was muttering away about how dragon skin is better than leather and blah, blah, so I just assumed he knew what he was talking about and bought these.'

'Well, these are great. And dragon skin is _perfect._ Thank you Lily.' He put the gloves on the windowsill next to him and reached over to hug her.

The movement caught her by surprise and she almost fell into his arms as they circled round her and pulled her a little closer. Her breath hitched in her throat as she felt his palms come to rest lightly on her back, and she felt the light brush of his stubble rub past her cheek. James was so unselfconscious about his affection towards his friends, it still took her by surprise a lot of the time; she still wasn't wholly used to being on hugging terms with him.

Still, she always found that there was something incredibly soothing, almost soporific about James' hugs; they always made her relax somehow, as if she could just go to sleep right there, tucked away in his arms. The thought made her feel vaguely ridiculous, but she still responded by wrapping her arms around his back and burying her face in the crook of his neck, listening to his calm breaths and inhaling the scent of his skin.

They stayed there for a moment, quiet and unmoving until Lily whispered in his ear. 'Would now be a good time to ask for a favour?'

She felt, rather than heard, the rumble of James' laughter. 'After you've bought me a gift? Probably. Although, to be fair, there's never really a _bad _time for you to ask for a favour Lil.'

She released her grip on James, and he did the same, allowing her to scoot back a little way on the window ledge, the distance allowing her greater clarity of thought.

'This would be above and beyond the call of duty as far as friendship is concerned.'

James arched an eyebrow. 'Well now I'm intrigued. Out with it, let's hear the worst.'

Lily took a deep, calming breath. 'I was hoping…that is to say, I was thinking…oh Merlin, I was wondering if you would come to Petunia's wedding with me?'

James looked uncharacteristically blank. 'Me?'

'Yeah.' Lily rushed on without waiting for a further response. 'I was thinking that I need to take someone who understands what's going on with me and Tuney, because it's likely to be a bloody weird affair quite frankly. And that pretty much means you or Remus because you are the _only_ two males of my acquaintance that I'm willing to explain all this to, and I really, _really_ want to take someone I know, because I can't bear the thought of being there by myself and being stuck with all the bloody Dursleys without someone to make fun of them with me…'

James cut off Lily's rambling by covering her mouth with one hand. 'Of course I'll come with you. But you'll need to confiscate my wand, or we'll both be in a whole_ heap_ of trouble by the end of the day.'

His hand might still have been covering her mouth, but he could tell she was smiling at him from behind it.

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******************A/N: I always love to hear what you guys think, so if you leave a review, I'm eternally grateful to you.  
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	5. April

**********************A/N: Remember when I said I was aiming for weekly updates? Yeah, I suck. For some reason my brain is refusing to co-operate with me at the moment, and I ended up starting a third fic (a Harry/Ginny AU, if anyone's interested) because _I could not get the idea out of my head_.**

**********************Anyway, this chapter has been re-written about five times now; I just can't quite get it right. But it's done, and I hope at least some of you like it! It's a little less fluffy and a little more serious than previous chapters, so I hope that's okay with everyone. Even I have my limits on fluff-production.  
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**********************And a big thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, especially those of you who offered me alternative translations!**

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**4****th**** April 1977, 5.15pm **

Lily drummed her fingertips on the arm of the sofa, ignoring the obvious irritation of her friends at her fidgeting. The windows of the common room were thrown open to let the early spring air in, and she could smell cut grass and feel the warmth of the air, and that only served to make her even _more _annoyed.

'Evans, my love, light of my life!'

She didn't have to look to know who that was. Closing her eyes and tilting her head back to better be able to ignore him, she answered quietly.

'If you want me to re-write your charms homework again Sirius, you can forget it. Once in a lifetime offer remember? Now bugger off.'

She sensed him sitting down beside her. His arm brushed lightly against hers and she could smell his aftershave; it was lighter than James', without those underlying warm scents of woods and grass, but similar enough to be oddly soothing. She felt herself relaxing slightly.

'Evans, I'm hurt. I'd never ask you for such a big favour twice in the same year.'

She didn't even crack a smile at that and he knew she was well and truly narked. He studied her profile for a moment; head tilted back, hair spreading over the back of the sofa, eyes closed and mouth set in that straight line that quite clearly said someone was in for it. Hoping it wasn't going to be him, Sirius nudged her elbow with his.

'I know you're not really mad at me.'

She snorted. 'Oh really?'

He shook his head and smiled to himself; this whole "Prongs and Evans" thing was turning out to be far more amusing than he'd thought it would be.

'Nope.' He answered. 'I can hazard a really good guess at who you're mad at, and he has messy hair, wears glasses, is a bit of a prat and answers to the name of James Potter.'

'I'm not mad at Potter.' Lily replied, her tone deliberately cool and unaffected.

Sirius smirked to himself. 'The fact that you just called him Potter suggests otherwise. You only call him Potter when he's done something to hack you off.'

She opened her eyes and turned her head towards him on an exasperated sigh. 'Spare me your feeble analysis of my behaviour. What do you _want _Sirius?'

He grinned at her and held up a folded piece of parchment. 'Prongs asked me to give you this.'

Lily stared at it for a moment, her face softening, but then it set back into that grim line and her head went back to its previous position, tilted back and looking up at the ceiling. 'Tell him to come and give it to me himself.'

'He can't.' Sirius' voice was suddenly solemn. 'He's not here.'

Lily's head spun to face him, her eyes slamming open to meet his silvery ones. He held out the parchment again, and this time she took it slowly, turning it over and over in her hands.

'Before you decide you're furious at him, read the letter.' Sirius' eyes were fixed on her face, and his voice was firm; Lily found herself nodding slowly, and Sirius rose and began to move away, aiming a grin in her direction as he went. Lily looked round at her friends who were all observing her with varying degrees of interest.

'I'm just going to, er…' She trailed off and settled for vaguely waving her hand in the direction of the girl's dorms. Marlene raised her eyebrows, but Alice and Emma simply nodded their acknowledgment of her gesture as she wandered away.

Gripping the letter in one hand she climbed the stairs until she reached her dorm, passing only one other girl on the stairs. She made her way over to her bed and sat cross-legged in the middle, staring at the letter in her hands; she was unexpectedly apprehensive at what it might say. She began to unfold it then stopped suddenly and, in a fit of paranoia, drew the drapes round her bed so that even if one of the girls came in unexpectedly she would have time to compose herself before she saw them.

She mentally berated herself for the train of thought; why was she so worked up over some scribbled note from James, which was probably going to turn out to be something totally unimportant anyway?

She took a deep breath and made the final unfold.

_Lily, _

_I hope Sirius gets this note to you before the end of classes, but if he doesn't then I'm so sorry I didn't meet you in the grounds. Please don't be too mad at me. _

_McGonagall came and pulled me out of Herbology this morning to tell me that my parents are in St Mungo's again. I've gone to see them, and I'm not sure when I'll be back. I only had a couple of minutes to scribble this note down for you; please believe me when I say I would have told you myself if I'd had the chance. _

_I swear I'll take you to see the unicorns in the forests as soon as I get back. The very second I arrive if you want. _

_I'm sorry._

_James_

Lily read the letter through a second time and felt her heart sinking for James. He hadn't talked about it much since New Year's Eve, but she knew that having his parents in hospital was hell for him; he'd thought of them both as indestructible aurors for so long that it had been a shock for him to abruptly realise that they were actually rather old and vulnerable.

It suddenly didn't matter that she'd spent twenty minutes waiting outside for him to meet her and take her to see the unicorns that he swore lived in the forest; it didn't matter that she'd been furious with him not fifteen minutes ago, or that she'd been determined not to let him out of this one too easily.

He was hurting, and probably panicked, and apparently worried not just about his sick parents but about whether _she _was upset with him. At what had to be an absolutely horrible moment for him, he'd taken a minute to worry about her and write her a note to explain.

She turned to her bedside table and scrabbled for a quill and parchment.

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**5****th**** April 1977, 11.45am **

James stretched in the too-small chair, his long legs reaching out across the floor in front of him and his arms raised above his head. His eyes were tired and sore and his mind was groggy, but he forced himself up out of his seat and began to pace the room in an attempt to work out the knots in his back and legs.

He let himself out of the waiting room and headed off down the corridor to his parent's room; he opened the door and slipped in. His mother was very deeply asleep – sleeping draught he suspected – but his father seemed to be very close to waking up, mumbling and shifting in his sleep. Not wanting to disturb them, he backed out of the room and walked back towards the nurse's station to see if he could charm an update from someone.

The nurse behind the desk was young and blonde and he didn't think he'd seen her anywhere near his parents, but hopeful that she might have news for him anyway he stepped towards the desk. He was about to ask her if she knew anything about his parents when he heard his name called from behind him. He turned to see Healer Andrews, the medi-witch responsible for his parents heading down the hallway towards him so he turned and walked to meet her. She'd been in charge of their care at Christmas as well. James had liked her.

'They're stable.' She stated without preamble. 'Few days here and they'll be fine. But this isn't an illness that we can cure; they're going to have recurring bouts of it, and they need to start to take better care of themselves. That might include giving up work, or at least taking lighter duties.'

She looked at James sternly. 'They won't listen to me I'm sure, but they may listen to you. They aren't as young as they think they are, and they can't keep pushing their bodies like this. See if you can get some sense into them.'

James nodded slowly before he turned and began to walk back towards their room, hands tucked in his pockets and shoulders slumped as he imagined the conversation to come; his parents had never shown any inclination to listen to him before, so he couldn't imagine they'd be likely to start now. He was stopped by Healer Andrews calling after him, and he turned to face her.

She walked up to him and held out a letter. 'Almost forgot. Arrived at the main desk; they were a bit confused – we don't get mail for patients or visitors very often - but I recognised your name.'

'Oh.' He took the letter and gave it an odd look. 'Well thanks.'

She nodded easily. 'Must have been a very smart owl to find you here.' She walked briskly away from him, a model of efficiency in her white coat, and he tucked the letter safely away in his pocket before turning back in the direction he's come from.

James continued his slow pace towards his parent's room before making a last minute swerve into the family room he'd been sleeping in. He settled himself into a chair and unfolded the letter.

_James_

_I'm not mad. I'm so far away from being mad you wouldn't even believe. _

_And you don't need to be sorry; you have nothing to apologise for. I hope your mum and dad are doing okay. Please owl me if you need anything; don't ask Sirius, it'll take him days to get organised._

_As for those unicorns, we'll go see them sometime. It's not like there's a rush is there? Just come back when you can. _

_Love Lily_

James read the letter twice. Then once more. Then he just settled for reading that last line again.

_Love Lily._

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**9****th**** April 1977, 7.50pm**

James climbed the last of the stairs up to Gryffindor Tower and came to a halt outside the portrait of the Fat Lady.

'Back are we?' she asked loudly. 'Password's been changed while you were gone.' She raised her chin haughtily and James grinned; she was always snippy with him, he suspected because he was always waking her up late at night to let him either in or out.

'I thought it might have been, so I stopped by Professor McGonagall's office on the way up.' He looked at the Fat Lady, lazy grin still fixed on his face. 'Mothballs.' He said firmly.

She sniffed and looked at him as if he was far too disgusting to contemplate, but nonetheless the door swung open and he was able to step through. As he stepped into the common room, he realised he was walking into a blazing row; he craned his neck to see over the heads of some of the younger years who'd crowded round the argument, and groaned internally when he saw Sirius, still in his Quidditch gear, yelling his head off at the rest of the team.

For a moment he was tempted to just slip back outside and leave them to it, but his new found sense of responsibility reared its ugly head and compelled him to move forward, pushing his way gently through the crowd of interested onlookers.

'…and another thing; keep track of your team mates! You're supposed to know where the rest of the team is; I don't want to see another botched quaffle play because you're not bothering to keep track of the other chasers, or another bludger hit towards a member of your own team because you're staring off into the stands… _Gregory are you listening to me_?' Sirius' voice was low and angry, and the rest of the team were looking borderline mutinous.

James sighed and dragged a hand through his hair before he stepped out of the crowd and into the row. 'Do I even want to ask?'

Sirius' face immediately brightened up. 'Prongs! How are you mate?'

He embraced James roughly but let go quickly and waved a finger under his nose. 'Are your mum and dad okay?'

James nodded. 'Yeah, they're all right.'

'Good.' Sirius clapped him on the back. 'Then I have just one request of you; please never leave me in charge of this team _ever again_. They are a bunch of blithering idiots.'

'Oi!' Frank folded his arms and glared at Sirius from his position off to the side of the argument.

'Except Longbottom.' Sirius amended quickly. '_Longbottom _may be the only one of these imbeciles with any skill at Quidditch _at all_…'

'Okay, thanks mate.' James cut him off quickly. 'We'll discuss this at the next practice shall we? Looks like you can all call it quits for tonight, and we'll have a practice in a day or so when everyone's got cooler heads.'

There were a few mumbles from the other members of the team, but none of them even considered challenging James' words, so they began to wander off in search of showers, much to the disgust of the gathered crowd who'd been rather enjoying the show. They scattered back to their various seats in the room, leaving James and Sirius in the middle of a slowly emptying circle of people.

Richard Benton, the team's keeper, stopped and gave him a grin as he went past in the direction of the boy's dorms. 'Good to see you back Captain.'

James grinned back. 'Thanks Benton. Nice to be back. I'll let you all know about practice.'

Benton nodded and continued past, and James was suddenly aware of Remus and Peter joining him and Sirius in the middle of the room.

'All right Prongs?' Peter asked quietly.

James grinned at him. 'Yeah mate, I'm alright. Mum and Dad have got to stay in for a few more days then they can go home. They're retiring; the Healers have them convinced that going back to work will make them sicker, so they're going to tie up some loose end and finish at the end of the month. They're not completely happy about it, but they're going to do it.'

Remus clapped James on the back. 'As long as they're okay mate. And you're okay too obviously.'

The portrait opened again, and James heard girl's laughter echoing. There wasn't exactly anything unusual in that, but he'd recognise one of those voices anywhere; not a moment later, Lily stepped through into the common room. She stopped dead at the sight of James standing in the middle of the room with his friends and he felt the corners of his mouth turn up as soon as his eyes landed on her.

She was a mess, and it looked gorgeous on her. Her hair was tied back in that untidy bun she favoured when she was doing homework, strands escaping everywhere around her face, and her shirt was un-tucked from her skirt and her tie hung loose around her neck where she'd undone her top button. Without really stopping to think about it, he held out his arms to her, and just as he realised what he had done and began to think better of it, she crossed the room and threw herself into them, her arms locking themselves around his waist.

'Welcome back James.' She murmured the words into his chest, and he felt the smile stretch further on his face.

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**16****th**** April 1977, 7.15pm**

'Why am I so bad at this?' Alice slammed her fist down on the table. 'I swear to Morgana, I used to be good at transfiguration.'

She waved her wand at her hedgehog, but it just sat and stared back at her as her spell proved to be completely ineffective – again - at turning it back into a pincushion.

'Well, this is _un-transfiguration_ isn't it? It's harder.' Marlene had long since given up on the spell and was using her wand to curl her hair, her legs tucked up under her as she perched on the table in their little corner of the library.

Emma had mastered the spell an hour ago but thus far had been completely unable to explain _how _to her friends, so she was sat quietly checking through her runes homework, smiling occasionally at the profanity that left Alice's mouth as she attempted the spell again and again. Say what you would about Alice, no-one could ever accuse her of being a quitter.

The sound of footsteps echoed across the floor, and Lily marched triumphantly around the bookcases and towards their table. 'I have the solution to our problem.' She turned to look behind her, and a confused look briefly crossed her face. She took a few steps back, and at almost exactly that moment Sirius stumbled out from behind the shelves; he righted himself and glared behind him. James stepped out next, hands tucked in his pockets and whistling innocently, Remus and Peter right behind him, both trying to unsuccessfully hide their grins.

Marlene raised one perfectly shaped eyebrow. 'Care to enlighten us?'

'Study group.' Said Lily grimly. 'We are not leaving this room until we have all finished our homework; if we all help each other it shouldn't take that long. James has been dragging me through transfiguration for the last three months, so he and Sirius ought to be able to knock this spell into our heads, and then we can all work together on that bloody Defence project. And anything else anyone wants to tackle of course.'

Sirius turned his head towards James. 'Is she always this bossy?'

James grinned and nodded. 'More or less. But I like it.'

Lily pretended not to hear, but the blush on her cheeks was unmistakable.

An hour later Peter was helping Emma label a diagram of a Porlock, Remus and Lily were surrounded by an enormous pile of books as they researched Lethifolds for their Defence class and James and Alice were practising glamour charms on each other's faces; Sirius, on the other hand, had his face buried in his hands as he sat on the edge of the table.

'Okay.' He scrubbed his face with the heel of both hands before sliding to his feet and looking directly at Marlene, his expression slightly despairing. 'Okay. One more time McKinnon. You _can_ do this, and you bloody well _will _do it, if it's the last thing I ever accomplish. _Twist _the wand very slightly to the right as you raise it, and flourish it _downwards_ when you point. Go.'

Everyone else stopped working to watch as Marlene took a deep breath, raised her hand and spoke the incantation, directing her wand through the intricate movements of the spell until it was pointed at the hedgehog.

Which turned into a pincushion.

There was a moment of silence, and then everyone cheered as Marlene threw her arms in the air and spun around in a circle on the spot before launching herself at Sirius, who caught her even as he laughed at her jubilation.

'Any more of that racket and you all go out!' Madame Pince's face appeared around the shelves, her mouth set in a grim line as she glowered at each of them in turn before disappearing again.

Everyone else suddenly became incredibly interested in their work as Marlene and Sirius seemed to realise just how close together they were standing, arms still wrapped around each other. They weren't laughing anymore as they looked at each other intently, faces only an inch apart.

The moment was broken by Peter throwing the pincushion at them. 'Why don't you two go _practice_ elsewhere?' There was only the faintest hint of innuendo in his tone, but it was enough to make Lily and Alice both giggle.

Sirius picked up the pincushion from where it had landed on the floor next to his feet, his face a picture of indignation. 'Well, we might just do that.' He retorted, scowling at Peter, who paid him absolutely no attention. Marlene's hand slipped into his, and his head turned quickly away from his friends to look at her.

'Sounds like a good idea to me.' She spoke softly and Sirius cocked his head to one side as he studied her expression, which was oddly shy. It was unusual to see Marlene vulnerable, but he found it rather adorable. His lips twitched up into a smile.

'Let's go then.'

The two of them drifted off without a word of goodbye to their friends, Sirius with the pincushion tucked under one arm and Marlene still gripping her wand in one hand, while their other hands clung together.

James screwed up a wad of paper and threw it at Peter's head. 'Cheers mate. They're going to be a _nightmare_ to be around.'

'Oh hush.' Lily didn't even look up from her book. 'They're happy, leave them alone.'

James screwed up another piece of paper to aim at her. 'I'll remind you of that when you start complaining about them eating each other's faces at every opportunity.'

'Careful mate, you almost sound jealous.' Remus didn't look up either, but James could see the corners of his mouth turned up in a grin.

'That's gross Moony.' He pulled a face. 'I don't want to snog either of them thank you very much.'

'Remus isn't suggesting that you want to snog either of those two James, I think he's just trying to point out that you are jealous of them snogging because _you_ can't snog the person you want to.' Alice smirked at him, her eyebrows raised suggestively.

James flicked his eyes quickly in Lily's direction, then tried to pretend he hadn't. Alice's grin widened, and he knew she had noticed, so he calmly picked up a book and began to leaf through it.

'Not at all Ally.' He tried to keep his voice level and composed. 'I just don't relish listening to those two suck face all night. In case you'd forgotten, Sirius can't get into the girl's dorm, which means those two will be spending their time in _ours_, and _we're_ the ones who'll have to live with it.'

He shuddered, and Remus looked up, horror filling his features. 'Merlin, I hadn't thought of that. Do you think we could at least get Sirius to embrace silencing charms?'

'Doubtful.' James dropped his book and picked up the next. 'How do you two manage to stay focused on reading this crap for so long?'

'Practice.' Said Lily quietly, reaching over and removing the book from his grasp. He was about to lean over and grab it back when a younger student came around the corner and stopped by their table.

'Is one of you Lily Evans?' She asked quietly, her eyes darting nervously between them.

Lily looked up and smiled gently. 'That's me.'

The girl held up a sealed envelope. 'Someone told me to give you this.' She placed it on the desk and walked away before anyone could question her further.

Lily reached over for the envelope and opened it. There was only a small slip of parchment inside; she read the two short lines written on it, then turned it over and over in her hands, looking for anything to identify the sender.

James frowned at her puzzled expression. 'Everything okay?'

Wordlessly, she passed the note over to him, and his eyes darted down to take in the words before meeting hers again.

**_Don't patrol the corridors on your own anymore. Trust me, you'll regret it._**

**__****************__****(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) __****(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)**

**20****th**** April 1977, 9.15pm **

The knock on the door made them all jump, but Sirius was the first to recover.

'Just come in, we don't stand on formality round here!'

The door to the sixth year boys' dorm was pushed open, and Frank stepped in hesitantly. 'Please tell me I'm not going to see anything I don't want to see in here.'

Sirius grinned. 'Don't worry Mr Prefect, your sensibilities are safe in here.'

Remus snorted. 'I wouldn't go that far. I have a crisis of conscience almost every day sharing with you lot.'

James threw a pillow at him as he sat up on his bed. 'What's up Frank?'

'Er, I was hoping you guys could help me out actually.' Worry was clearly written across Frank's face, and James found himself sitting up straighter in response.

'Sure.' He nodded. 'What do you need?'

'Well, Alice said that when Lily was disappearing by herself all the time and they couldn't find her, they'd come to you and you could always find out where she was somehow. She was talking about how well you knew the castle.' He paused and took another breath. 'Thing is, she was supposed to meet me over an hour ago for a walk, and she didn't turn up; the girls haven't seen her since dinner, and I haven't been able to find her anywhere, and I'm, well I'm just a bit worried is all.'

He looked around at each of them before his gaze settled back on James. 'I guess I was just wondering if you could think of anywhere she could be that I wouldn't have thought to look.'

'Where have you looked?' Asked Sirius, who was surprisingly solemn for once.

'Library, common room, astronomy tower.' Frank checked them off on his fingers. 'Lily checked the girls' bathrooms for me and I've been all round the grounds too.'

'Hmm.' James reached surreptitiously under his bed for the map while Frank was looking at Sirius. 'Why don't we help you look? We can split up and cover more ground.'

Remus was quick to understand James' suggestion. 'That makes sense. Why don't me and you go have a look around the classrooms, and you three can start checking other places?'

James nodded his acknowledgment. 'Okay Moony.'

Remus and Frank headed for the door but just as they were about to open it they were stopped by a shout from Sirius. 'Oi! Take this.' He held out a small mirror, and Remus took it with a grin before he and Frank headed out.

The three remaining boys gave it a minute to make sure they weren't coming back before James spread the map out on his bed. They hunched over it, scouring for Alice's dot until Peter finally spotted it. 'There! Third floor corridor, East side. What_ is_ she doing along there?'

'She's not moving.' James said, his brow furrowing. 'We'd better get up there and see if she's alright.'

He turned to his trunk and pulled out the cloak; Sirius grabbed the map and the three boys made their way down to the common room and out of the portrait hole. James threw the cloak over them, and Peter held the map, since he was the shortest of the three.

'Should we have given either the cloak or the map to Remus and Frank do you think? It is after curfew.' Whispered Peter as they made their way through the quiet corridors.

'Nah.' It was Sirius who answered as James was too intent on keeping them all covered by the material of the cloak. 'It may be after curfew, but they're both prefects, they can make something up if they have to. We're the only ones who are going to be in trouble if we get caught wandering around.'

'Shh!' James' voice was oddly harsh as he quietened them, and Sirius was about to complain when he heard the approaching footsteps. The three of them stood as quietly as they could manage, barely even daring to breathe as Professor MacGregor made his way past them back towards the Defence classroom.

'He's gone.' Sirius blew out the breath he'd been holding. 'Let's move quick.'

They stayed under the cloak until they'd found their way into one of the narrow secret passageways that they regularly used to navigate the castle after curfew, then they began to move as quickly as possible in single file towards the corridor they'd spotted Alice in.

'Is she still there?' asked James, craning his neck as he twisted to speak to Peter, who nodded after a quick glance at the map for confirmation. James' mouth set in a grim line. None of them voiced their concerns but the fact was Alice had apparently not moved in more than twenty minutes, and she had very uncharacteristically stood Frank up and hadn't been seen by any of her friends in almost two hours.

They arrived at the end of the passageway and waited while Peter scanned over the map; when he gave them a nod, they slid out from behind the tapestry that concealed the entrance and began to jog towards the adjacent corridor, not bothering with the cloak any longer.

They rounded the corner and saw that their fears were accurate; Alice lay unmoving, face down on the stone floor of the corridor.

James threw the mirror from his pocket at Peter. 'Get Moony and Frank up here!'

Peter called Remus' name in the mirror urgently while James and Sirius dropped down next to Alice.

'Well, she's breathing.' Sirius' tone was grave as he felt her neck for a pulse and James slid his hands gently under her to turn her over. His breath hitched as his hands touched something sticky, and it stuck in his throat entirely as he rolled her body and saw the dozens of small incisions that had sliced through her clothes and cut into her skin.

'Merlin…' Sirius breathed out. 'I've never seen anything like that.'

The sound of running feet came around the corner and suddenly Frank and Remus were there, dropping to Alice's side.

'Ally!' Frank's usually calm exterior was completely gone as he ran his hands over her numerous injuries. 'Sweetheart, can you look at me? Open your eyes baby.'

Remus looked up at James. 'Get out of here. Frank and I will deal with this, you lot don't need to be caught out after curfew.'

James looked uncertain for a moment, and Remus gave him a sharp look. 'Go!'

James, Sirius and Peter disappeared back towards the passage, leaving the strange and horrifying scene behind them.

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**25****th**** April 1977, 9.45pm**

'You've been staring at that bloody map for the last hour; are you joining this game or what?' Sirius sounded exasperated and James silently prayed for patience as he looked up.

'What are you teaching us again?'

'Poker.' Sirius announced proudly from his spot on the floor in the centre of the room, Remus and Peter sat to either side of him. 'It's a muggle game; apparently they usually play it for money, or there's a version where you have to strip if you lose!'

James shuddered. 'Please tell me you aren't playing that version.'

'Of course not.' Sirius sounded appalled. 'I wouldn't play that version with men,_ especially_ not you lot.'

'You aren't missing much James, I'm not convinced that Padfoot has the rules of this right.' Remus turned his cards around in his hands, his brow furrowed in confusion.

'Yeah Padfoot, leave him alone.' Peter smirked at James. 'Let him stalk Lily all he wants.'

'I'm not stalking her, I'm just…looking out for her.' James muttered grumpily. 'Between that stupid note and what happened to Alice, I'm worried.'

'Alice is okay though.' Sirius placed his cards face down on the floor in front of him and turned to face James. 'I mean, she's as okay as she can be, you know, for someone who was hit by an unknown spell then stupefied. No lasting effects.'

'It sucks she didn't see who it was.' Peter dropped his cards to the ground too and leaned back against his bed.

'Two people, probably boys, wearing black cloaks.' Remus said wearily. 'There are about eight hundred students in this school and it could have been any of them. Though given that it was obviously Dark Magic, I'd say that narrows the suspect list considerably.'

Sirius straightened up and narrowed his eyes at James, struck with a sudden realisation. 'So if you've been worried about Lily since she got that note, and what happened to Alice made you even_ more_ paranoid, does that mean you've been watching her on the map every time she's done patrols for like, the last fortnight?'

James kept his eyes on the map refusing to look up and meet the questioning gazes of all three of his friends. 'Yes.'

Sirius snorted and folded his arms across his chest. 'You've got it bad.'

'Shut up.' His eyes followed Lily's dot down two flights of stairs to the dungeons. 'I wish she wouldn't do the dungeons though; you'd think she could convince Diggory to switch that with her wouldn't you?'

'I'm positive she could.' Said Remus quietly. 'But she wouldn't, because she'd see it as a defeat. The idea of there being places in the castle that she can't go to because of who she is…well, Lily doesn't take kindly to the idea.'

'True enough.' James responded, looking up from the map. 'She deserves to be seen as an equal; hell, she's _better _than most of the tossers in this place, so I don't know why they'd think they have the right to look down on her.'

'Prejudice and fear are rarely clear-sighted and logical Prongs.' Remus' lips twitched into a sarcastic smile. 'I know that better than most.'

The four of them were silent for a moment then, unsure of what could be said. On a day-to-day basis, James, Sirius and Peter often forgot about the widespread prejudice against werewolves; it was, after all, such an alien concept to them that they didn't often stop to think about how other people would treat Remus if they knew. Remus for his part never forgot it, but he was at least grateful that he could hide it; Lily would always be instantly recognisable as a muggle-born and so would always face prejudice, but Remus could hide his affliction and escape the worst of it. Most of the time anyway.

James eyes flicked back down to the map, instantly closing in on where he'd last seen Lily; he found her dot just a little further along the corridor, checking the empty Potions classrooms. Only, one of them _wasn't_ empty, and he read the names of the people occupying it with horror; Snape, Mulciber and Macnair. She was just four doors away from checking that particular room.

He was up off the bed and grabbing his wand almost before he'd even finished reading the names. He ran for the door, snatching up the cloak from the top of his school trunk as he went.

'Prongs, what?' Sirius' voice rang out, startled and confused, and James stopped in the doorway to briefly face his friends.

'Lily's about to walk into a probable shitstorm of trouble.'

Then he was running. He was aware that the other three had followed him and were on his heels as they ran down the stairs to the common room; he ignored the odd looks they got from some of the kids still sitting in the common room as they crossed it without stopping and went straight out of the Tower. Once they were outside the doors, James threw the map to Remus and they headed for the nearest passage.

It took longer than any of them would have liked to get to the Potions corridor, and as they rounded the corner they heard screams, accompanied with rough laughter.

'See Graham, it's easy! Want a go Sev? I know you have a fondness for this spell; you invented it after all.'

Not one of them gave it a second thought; they burst into the classroom, wands drawn and ready. Macnair stepped away from Lily's prone body; Snape and Mulciber were stood off to one side, wands out.

Lily struggled to her feet, snatching her wand up off the floor as she rose and pointing it at her attackers. Realising the odds were not in their favour, the three Slytherins backed towards the door, and it was not without effort that the Marauders let them go without hexing them.

James was the first to turn his back on the door, as he moved across the room to Lily. She was staring at the door, wand still pointed and he touched her hand carefully. 'Lil?'

When she didn't move or respond to him, he shook her hand a little more firmly. 'Lily.'

Then he felt it - the tremors running through her - and he very gently grasped both her arms and turned her to face him; his breath caught when he saw the small, deep cuts marking her cheek. 'Are you okay?'

She looked at him vacantly for a moment, then shook her head and burst into tears; he pulled her towards him, arms wrapping around her and he was aware of the others coming closer. Sirius ran a hand over Lily's hair and Remus gently rubbed her arm, while Peter kept his eyes fixed on the door, wand still drawn. They stood there for a few minutes, the four boys surrounding her until her sobs had mostly died down.

'Come on.' James rubbed his hands up and down her arms. 'Let's get you back upstairs and clean you up.'

The walk back to Gryffindor Tower took much longer than their mad dash down. When they finally arrived back at the portrait hole, Remus slipped through under the cloak to check the common room; when he reported back that it was empty, the rest of them followed him in. James glanced around the empty common room and gave the situation only a moment's consideration before he took Lily's hand and gently tugged her towards the boys' staircase.

She followed him mutely, clinging onto his hand and ignoring the boys' whispered conversation.

'What the hell Prongs? We should take her up to the girls.'

'Yes Padfoot we should, but we can't get up the stairs remember?' James hissed back. 'Do you want to leave her to wander up there on her own while she's hurt? She can come up to our dorm and we can clean up her injuries out of sight of prying eyes and then see how she is.'

'It makes sense Pads.' Peter's low voice came from behind them. 'And keep your voices down, you'll wake someone.'

They reached the boys' door and James pulled Lily through, Sirius and Peter following him. Remus stopped in the doorway.

'I'm going to get Frank.' The other boys looked at him in confusion and he rolled his eyes at them. 'He's better than any of us at healing charms, and he won't say anything if we don't want him to.' He shut the door quietly behind him and the boys turned their attention back to Lily who standing in the centre of their room with her arms wrapped round herself.

'Sit down Lils.' James waved a hand to indicate that she should sit wherever she liked and she turned slowly and perched herself on the edge of his bed. James crouched down in front of her to examine her cuts, and Sirius appeared at his side with a bowl of warm water and a cloth; Lily reached for the cloth and began to wash her face with it.

'I don't want to talk about it.' Her voice was firm, if a little quiet, and while it went against his better judgement, James found himself nodding his agreement, just happy to hear her voice sounding stronger, more like herself.

By midnight, everyone but James and Lily was asleep; they were sitting side by side on his bed, propped up against the headboard. Frank had been and gone; he'd been able to close all the cuts on Lily's face, but had remarked on their oddness and pointed out the similarities to the marks that had been left on Alice. If the comments they'd overheard were true, then Snape had invented a spell that caused those injuries and he and some of his friends were having fun testing it on other students.

Lily had outright refused to discuss it, and one by one the others had gone to bed, leaving the two of them talking quietly on James' bed, a fact he was trying very hard not to dwell on.

'Merlin this has been one shit month hasn't it?' Lily's voice was tired, and he could tell by the way her head was drooping onto his shoulder that she was exhausted enough to sleep if she'd only admit it.

James laughed at her quietly. 'It's not been great, I'll concede that much.'

Lily yawned and curled up to him, tucking her legs under her body and hugging his arm. 'Thanks James. For looking out for me.'

'Any time.' He answered, his voice almost imperceptibly low; he wasn't sure she heard him at all.

She was asleep just moments later, and when he was sure she was properly under he shifted so he could slide his arms under her body and move her, sliding her under his covers and tucking them round her. He smoothed her hair where it spread across his pillows and watched as all the signs of stress and worry left her face as she slept. He settled down beside her on top of the covers and closed his eyes, breathing in her scent and the fact that she was safe, and beside him.

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**********************A/N: Sirius/Marlene gave me hell in this chapter. My original plan called for them to get together next chapter, but that little tutoring scene pretty much wrote itself, and no matter how many times I tried to alter it it just kept going the same way, and eventually I was just like "fine, whatever, snog now if you must". So that's that.**

**********************Anyway, I'm rambling again. I'd love it if you left me a review to tell me your thoughts, but whether you do or don't, thank you for reading and for your continued support.**


	6. May

**************************A/N: Sorry for the delay with this chapter - it was oddly hard to write, and is extremely Lily-centric, but it does have my favourite moment so far in it.  
**

**************************I hope it's worth the wait.**

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**3****rd**** May 1977, 11.20am **

Lily couldn't help but laugh at the frustration on Sirius' face at the silvery vapour coming out of the end of his wand.

'This is a stupid bloody spell.' He grouched loudly. 'What kind of magic depends on your mental state at the time? I mean, if a dementor is charging its way towards you you're hardly going to be thinking about birthday cakes and first kisses are you?'

Emma lowered her wand in surprise. 'Are you thinking about your first kiss Sirius? That's actually surprisingly sweet.'

'I didn't say I was thinking about my first kiss did I?' Sirius scowled at her. 'I just meant that's the kind of sappy rubbish people are bound to be using for a spell like this, and it's hardly the easiest thing to bring to mind when some creepy-ass monster is bearing down on you.'

'Aww, Padfoot was being all sentimental!' James leaned back from his perch on the edge of the desk so he could rest his head on Sirius' shoulder and bat his eyelashes at him. 'You're such a softie.'

'Piss off Prongs.' Sirius cuffed him across the back of the head. 'I'm not soft. _You're_ soft; in the head that is.'

'Boys, boys!' Professor Flitwick's high-pitched voice interrupted them. 'Let's focus a little more shall we? Producing the vapour of a Patronus is extremely difficult in itself; many students will _never _master a corporeal. I would have been astounded if any of you had managed one today Mr Black. Keep trying, hmm?'

He moved off towards the other side of the room to break up an argument, leaving Sirius with his arms folded across his chest. 'Bloody stupid subject.'

Remus tried the incantation again and was rewarded with a burst of silver light that nonetheless failed to take shape and slowly faded. 'Damn. I wouldn't say that; charms are incredibly useful.'

'I agree. Expecto patronum.' Lily twirled her wand, then huffed in frustration when she failed to produce even a puff of vapour. 'I know this is a difficult one, but think how important it could turn out to be.'

'Expecting to face a dementor at some point then Evans?' Sirius asked, his eyebrows raised questioningly.

'Better to be prepared.' James cut in. 'Never know what's out there mate.'

There was a snort to his right and James twisted his body to see where it had come from; he was met with the grinning face of Mulciber. 'It'll take more than a patronus to save your sorry skins from what's waiting for you out there Potter.'

'Oh really?' Remus spoke coolly, even as his hand landed on Sirius' shoulder in an obvious effort to urge him to remain calm. 'And what, precisely, do you think is waiting out there for us Mulciber?'

Mulciber's grin turned ghoulish. 'Oh, I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise. Let's just say; I wouldn't bother making too many plans for your future.'

Sirius and James both clenched their wands a little tighter in their fists, but a warning look from Lily stayed their hands just in time as Flitwick walked past again, this time hurrying Mulciber away from them and back to his own group.

'Smug little shit.' Sirius muttered. 'I don't know who he thinks he is.'

'He's creepy.' Lily shivered. 'I've _always _thought he was creepy, and after what he did to Mary last year, that multiplied by ten.'

'Well, I think what him and his friends did to you this year was bad enough.' Said Emma, eyebrows furrowed as she stared after him. 'There's something very wrong about that boy.'

'It runs in the family.' James spoke quietly. The others looked at him curiously, and he beckoned them a little closer as he cast a muffliato charm around them. 'His older brother and his dad are both suspected Death Eaters; they're being investigated for involvement in a few murders as well as a couple of other crimes. I imagine they've spoken to him a few times about it, and he's told them a few things that have gone on in school as well.'

'Hold on a minute.' Emma looked positively horrified. 'Are you suggesting that when he was talking about what was waiting for us, he meant _You-Know-Who_?'

Sirius snorted at her. 'Don't get your knickers in a twist. I doubt he meant Voldemort would be after us _personally_.'

Emma wasn't the only one who flinched slightly at the name, but she was certainly the one who hid it least well.

'More likely he means that anyone who's not on the Death Eaters side will automatically be a target for them. It's becoming a "you're with us or against us" kind of thing; people can't really sit on the fence anymore.' James spoke calmly. 'Dad can't tell me much, but there are some nasty things happening out there. We'd be naïve to think that it's going to be any better by the time we graduate.'

'Well, aren't you a chirpy little soul these days.' Lily spoke dryly, and James flashed her a quick grin.

'Just being realistic. Things are bad, no question. Just because I acknowledge that doesn't mean I don't think they'll get _better._ We've got Dumbledore and all the aurors on our side, and the Ministry won't cave to him. He'll lose in the end.' James delivered his words so confidently that it was almost impossible not to believe them.

In the short silence that followed, Remus flicked his wand and tried the incantation again; a silver wolf shot out of the end of his wand and leapt across the room, and his eyebrows rose in shock.

James and Sirius gave each other brief, appalled looks, obviously thinking of Remus' secret and whether this was incriminating, if such a word could be applied to the situation, and the horror on their faces was enough to have Lily crease over with laughter, even as Professor Flitwick rushed over to congratulate Remus.

Fighting her giggles back, Lily focused her mind on the laughter and tried the words again. 'Expecto Patronum.'

A stream of silvery vapour poured from the end of her wand, and she tried to be pleased with that, since it was the first time she'd managed to produce anything from the spell at all, but it didn't give her much hope for a corporeal patronus; if that kind of uncontrolled laughter wasn't good enough, then she didn't think she'd ever find the right memory to focus on.

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**8****th**** May 1977, 9.45pm**

The unmistakable sound of female giggles had Lily opening the cupboard door; she closed her eyes and looked upwards with a sigh. 'Come on you two. Out of there.'

She ignored Remus' amused snort from behind her, and turned her back on the now open closet to give the two students a moment to sort themselves out. They tumbled out of the cupboard behind her, looking more than a little sheepish.

Lily made eye contact with Remus, who lifted an eyebrow and shook his head ever so slightly in response. She sighed again, and turned back to face the two pupils. Apparently it was her turn to deliver the lecture.

She folded her arms and glared at the now subdued fifth-years standing in front of her; this may have been her second year as a prefect, but she still found this part of the role mortifying.

'I'm sure you two are aware of the school rules? More specifically the curfew?'

She waited for nods from both students before she continued. 'Good. Then I won't have to explain why you're losing ten house points each and you're both getting detentions on Saturday._ Separate_ detentions.' She added quickly, noticing the slight grin that had appeared on the boy's face. It disappeared as quickly as it had arrived. The pair of them nodded again, keeping their eyes lowered so they didn't have to look either of the prefects in the face, something Lily was profoundly grateful for as it meant they couldn't see how horrifying she found it to have to do this.

'And really, a cleaning supplies cupboard? Try and have some class will you? Not only is it a dreadful cliché, I can't imagine it's comfortable. Find somewhere a bit more suitable to snog next time. Back to your common room.'

They practically sprinted away, and Lily kept her eyes fixed on the wall in front of her until she was sure they were gone before she turned back to Remus. He was grinning widely, and the sight of her embarrassed face was apparently enough to send him into hysterical laughter.

'It's not funny!' Lily protested, her cheeks flaming. 'I hate it so much; I hate the fact that I've probably seen more of the girls in this school without their shirt than most of the boys put together! I hate the fact that whenever I see people I've caught I get flashbacks to them groping in enclosed spaces. There are people in this school that I can never look at the same way again.'

By the end of her little rant, Remus had gotten a grip on himself and was straight-faced as he stood opposite her. 'Sorry. It was the way you told them to have some class. I swear, it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.'

'Yeah. Hilarious.' Lily deadpanned, making Remus' lips twitch again. They resumed their patrol route, their pace slow but steady as they made their way along the fourth floor corridors.

'So, I should tell Prongs to avoid cupboards then? Just cleaning supply ones, or is it all cupboards?'

Lily gave him a curious look. 'What are you on about Remus?'

He gave her a distinctly lopsided grin. 'Just trying to establish which places you consider it appropriate to snog. Apparently closets are out, but you obviously have no issues with the kitchens. How about empty classrooms?'

Lily couldn't stop the blush reappearing in her cheeks. 'Remus Lupin, I am not having this conversation with you. And my snogging preferences have nothing to do with James, thank you very much.'

That crooked grin made another appearance. 'You keep telling yourself that Lily.'

He tucked his hands in his pockets and began to whistle quietly as they walked, occasionally stopping to open doors and check empty rooms. They were just walking past the transfiguration rooms when Remus spoke again.

'So. I have to ask. Tripped and fallen onto James' lips recently?'

'Remus!' Lily glanced around quickly, then realised how absurd that was given that they were in a deserted corridor, at night, after curfew. 'No I have not. And I can't fathom why you'd ask me such a ridiculous question.'

'Riiight.' Remus drew the word out. 'Because it's not like you study with him most nights, or sit with him for meals, or go to his Quidditch practices. You never hug him or sit on his lap, or hold his hand or do anything that would suggest that there might be some affection there.'

'Of course there's affection. We're friends.' Lily scoffed.

'Friends who've snogged.' Remus corrected.

'Friends who kissed _once_; on New Year's Eve.' Lily responded. 'New Year's Eve doesn't count.'

Remus laughed. 'Is that some female rule that I'm not aware of?'

'No, it's just true. New Year is one of those weird anomalies when everybody feels the urge to kiss someone, and it's totally acceptable to kiss someone that you wouldn't normally…kiss.' She finished uncertainly, thinking back over her garbled sentence. Satisfied that it made a certain amount of sense, she gave Remus an emphatic nod.

Remus looked unimpressed with this argument. 'So you're saying that you always kiss someone on New Year's Eve?'

'Well, no…'

'But you were in the kitchens with James and you felt an urge to kiss him?' Remus prodded.

'No, not until he kissed me!' Lily protested.

'But he_ did_ kiss you; and then you kissed him back _because you wanted to_, and now you spend about half your time with him. So I'm curious here Lily: What exactly _are_ your intentions for my best mate?'

'Oh Merlin.' Lily rolled her eyes heavenward and prayed for patience. 'I repeat: I'm not having this conversation with you Remus.'

'Why not?' He asked, cocking his head to one side as he looked at her.

'Because there's nothing to say!' Lily knew her exasperation was coming through in her tone. 'James and I are friends. We haven't kissed since New Year's Eve. I'm really not sure what else I'm supposed to say except: you were right.'

Remus somehow managed to look both astonished and confused at the same time, and Lily felt compelled to elaborate.

'You were right about me and James. I don't hate him, and I never did. I hated that he could be such an enormous git at times, but he's better now and he was _never _as bad as I sometimes said he was. He's a good friend now, and I care about him a lot. But if you lot have been conjuring up some grand romance in your minds, you're well off.'

Remus looked at her appraisingly before nodding. 'Okay. Just curious. I care about you both.'

Lily softened instantly. 'I know you do. But you have nothing to worry about; James and I are friends, and we're staying that way. I don't think either of us wants to mess that up.'

'Okay.' Remus said quietly before gesturing for her to lead the way. They carried on along the corridor in silence for a little way, until Lily tucked her arm through Remus' and asked him a quiet question about the Potions homework.

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**15****th**** May 1977, 3.00pm**

It was always a strange experience, watching James play Quidditch. Lily mused on this as she watched him intercept a sloppy pass between the Hufflepuff chasers and then fly his broom at what she considered to be a ridiculous pace towards the goal. Still, she joined in the cheers for him anyway, regardless of her personal opinion of his recklessness.

She watched him pass off to Frank, who did some kind of dive and turn manoeuvre so quickly that she could barely follow it, before flinging the quaffle straight into James' path. He caught it without looking; he knew where it was going to be, because the team practised hard under his leadership for precisely that reason. It dropped through the far left hoop before the keeper had even had time to realise that the threat had changed direction.

The voice of Jonathon Boot echoed round the pitch as he kept up a lightning speed match commentary. 'And that's another goal by Gryffindor Captain James Potter! Gryffindor now lead by eighty points to thirty; Hufflepuff are putting up a strong fight, but the Gryffindor team are working seamlessly together this afternoon. Rumour has it that Potter has been drilling his team hard, and it's certainly showing today!'

James flew directly past their seats in the Gryffindor stand and saluted as he went by, earning an even louder cheer from some of the younger years and an exasperated shake of the head from Lily. She laughed at Marlene's shouted comment, but found herself missing the rest of her friends' conversation as she was again drawn into watching him fly.

He'd always been good at Quidditch. More naturally talented that most she supposed; you probably had to be at least a_ bit_ exceptional to be recruited onto the team in you third year, when most people didn't get in until their fifth year at the earliest. And it wasn't just the flying, though he was a natural at that; it was the strategy, the teamwork. She hadn't appreciated that in the past, hadn't noticed that he probably helped set up as many goals as he personally scored until she'd really started to watch him during matches, until she'd attended some of his practices as Captain and watched him run plays over and over with everyone in different positions each time, so no one person carried too much responsibility.

He wasn't just a great Quidditch player she realised, watching him swoop over to speak Richard Benton who was carefully circling his posts, he was a great_ Captain_. Funny she'd never consciously realised that before. James turned from Benton to scan the rest of the pitch, then he signalled for a time out once he'd caught the eye of Professor Oakshot the match referee.

Alice leaned towards her. 'What do you reckon they're up to?' she asked, watching the Gryffindor team land and gather into a huddle.

Lily shrugged. 'No idea. I've discovered that there is very little point in trying to predict what James is going to do, and that applies extra when it comes to Quidditch. It doesn't help that Frank and Sirius are so quick to encourage his more loopy ideas either.'

'Hey, loopy or not, they must work. Look how often we win!' Marlene put in her view as she leaned forward before sticking her fingers in her mouth and whistling as the Gryffindor team took to the air again.

They moved up into position and Oakshot sat on his broom holding the quaffle, exactly halfway between James and his Hufflepuff counterpart. The whistle blew, the quaffle was thrown up, and was swiftly snatched from one side by Anthony Jordan, the third Gryffindor chaser. The Hufflepuff chasers were completely thrown off, having fully expected James to take up the ball, and now their beaters were fighting a rear-guard action against the Gryffindor attack as James and Frank followed Anthony towards the goal. Less than a minute later Anthony fired the quaffle through the centre hoop, and Lily could just about make out the self-satisfied grin James aimed at the Slytherin's watching from directly behind the Hufflepuff goal. She couldn't quite stifle the giggle that bubbled up her throat.

Half an hour later and the pace had slowed a little. The score was 120 – 60 in Gryffindor's favour, but Frank had taken a nasty bludger to the knee and was wincing as he flew and Matthew Gregory, one of the beaters, had blood streaming from his nose. James pulled him to one side and aimed a quick spell at him; the bleeding stopped, but his obviously broken nose was crooked on his face. He and James had a quick conversation, accompanied by much arm waving and gesticulating before James shook his head and flew off.

Jonathon Boot's voice rose in both volume and pitch, and Lily realised that she'd been neglecting the rest of the game as she'd watched James and Matthew by the side-lines.

'I think Dempsey, seeker for Hufflepuff, has spotted the snitch! She's certainly speeding up, and she looks very focused on something! Davies isn't taking any chances anyway, and the Gryffindor seeker is flying hard as he tries to catch up with her.'

The cheers and taunts from all areas of the ground grew louder as everyone watched the two seekers race towards the area behind the Gryffindor goal. Lily could hear James roaring at the rest of his team to focus on their own part of the game and leave the seeking to Davies as he shot towards the Hufflepuff end with the quaffle clutched tightly under one arm. Sirius arrived alongside him just in time to see off a well-aimed bludger, and Lily found her eyes darting from one end of the pitch to the other as she tried to watch all the action at once.

Boot's voice was still ringing around the ground as he too tried to keep up with everything that was happening. 'Potter has the quaffle and is heading towards the Hufflepuff goal, but there's a tremendous battle between the seekers here. Dempsey's smaller size is certainly helping her with speed and manoeuvrability, but Davies has a much greater physical presence and he isn't afraid to use it!'

Lily was listening to the commentary, but her eyes were focused on James and his fellow chasers at the other end of the pitch, and she drew in a sharp breath as James executed a quick barrel roll to avoid a bludger; unfortunately he wasn't quite quick enough and the ball caught him a glancing blow on his left ankle as he twisted his broom back to the upright position.

He waved Frank and Anthony on, Sirius flying above them, while he dropped down and to one side of the pitch. Lily could see him tear a strip of fabric off the bottom of his robes and tie it around his injured limb and she mentally cursed him for his insane dedication to the team; most people would have called a time out to get treated, would get that injury checked out, but _no_, not James Potter.

She tasted a metallic tang in her mouth and realised that she'd bitten her lip so hard she'd drawn blood; she stood rooted to the spot for a few more moments as she watched James test out his jury-rigged bandage, wincing when he tried to steer too sharply, but he aimed his broom back out towards the field of play just as Jonathon Boot's voice reached new levels of excitement.

'I can see the snitch, and it is directly in front of the two seekers who are neck and neck in the race to grab 150 points and win the match! Dempsey has the edge for speed I think, but Davies' has more experience as a seeker, and they're both so close now, and they're both grabbing for it, and…and…'

The screams in the Gryffindor stand were almost deafening now, and Lily felt her head turn to watch the two seekers almost of its own accord; even the other players in the air were just going through the motions now, all of them only half-focusing on the rest of the game as they watched the two seekers try to out-manoeuvre each other as they raced the length of the pitch.

'Davies has it!' screamed Boot. 'It was so close, but Davies had the longer reach and he snatched it just ahead of Dempsey; it's a Gryffindor win!'

The stand erupted into cheers, and Lily found herself swamped by enthusiastic Gryffindors, her view of the pitch fully eclipsed by a sea of red and gold.

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**16****th**** May 1977, 00.20am**

The night air was cool on Lily's face as she leaned further out of the window, her red hair lifting slightly in the breeze.

She jumped and gave out a little muffled shriek when a warm hand landed on her lower back, then a familiar voice spoke to her.

'Not jumping I hope?'

Lily gave her heart a moment to resume its normal rate, then she tilted her head back until the smiling face of James Potter came into view, hazel eyes fixed firmly on her face as his lips curved up a little further.

'No, not jumping, but startle me like that again and there's a strong possibility of _falling_.' She spoke caustically. He just grinned a little wider and put an arm round her waist as he squirmed his way into the window nook alongside her and hung his head out alongside hers.

'Needed some air?' she asked quietly, looking at his profile as he leaned over a little further. His hair was as messy as it always was and his glasses sat askew, as they often did by this time of night; at some point during the day he just stopped bothering to push them back up the bridge of his nose and straighten them up. He turned his head slightly to look at her and smiled easily.

'Yeah. I like a party, but _Merlin _that common room is crowded.'

'I thought you liked crowds.' Lily's voice was quiet as she looked out over the grounds, the lake and the forest illuminated only by starlight.

James laughed quietly. 'I'm a sociable sort it's true. But…I don't know, it's just all a bit too much tonight. I felt…a little claustrophobic in there.'

'That's probably got something to do with the enormous crowd of girls that were trying to get as close to you as possible. I'm surprised they haven't started scratching each other's eyes out yet.' Lily worked hard to keep any trace of rancour from her tone, but she was sure a hint of resentment crept in. She hoped he didn't register it, because if he called her on it she couldn't explain it; she just didn't like the idea of him spending time with other girls. He was _her _friend. She'd never thought of herself as possessive, but apparently it was a dormant quality until provoked.

'What girls?' James sounded only vaguely interested and his response belatedly called her attention back to him. 'I didn't notice any girls.'

Lily ignored the fact that something about that statement made her feel instantly happier, and smiled at the sight of him sitting on a windowsill with her instead of at a party full of people who wanted to talk to him and be seen with him.

'Oh, they were there.' She assured him. 'But they'd probably eat you for breakfast anyway.'

He grinned at her. 'Yeah, I know the type. There's always a few when you're rich and pureblood. They like the… what's the word I'm looking for?..._cachet _of dating a Potter.'

Lily laughed. 'I'm sure that's true for some of them, but it's not just your name. You know that don't you?'

James raised an eyebrow at her, and she sighed dramatically. '_James._' Her tone was somewhat disbelieving.

'_Lily._' He responded mockingly.

With a huff of exasperation, she squirmed out of his grip and sat back so she was leaning up against the wall in their quiet window nook; she spoke quietly, her eyes firmly avoiding making contact with his.

'James, you're a Quidditch Captain, and you're clever, and popular, and your bloody pranks are famous and…oh Merlin, you're going to make me say it aren't you?'

James didn't move an inch; he stayed half hanging out of the window, his torso twisted as he inclined his upper body towards her so he could look at her as she spoke.

She drew in one deep shuddering breath and spoke the next few words so quickly he barely caught them. 'Well, you're not exactly unattractive are you? I think you can safely assume that your looks are pretty high on the list of reasons girls want to date you.'

James tilted his head slightly as he observed her determinedly not looking at him; he reached out a hand and caught her chin, using his index finger to push her face up until she met his eyes. 'Are you actually embarrassed saying that to me?'

He sounded incredulous, and Lily made sure her eyes were downcast as she muttered a quiet 'Yes.'

He sighed and pulled his body back in to perch on the edge of the windowsill next to her. 'Well that's ridiculous.' Her eyes rose back to meet his almost of their own accord, and he looked at her for a second before he carried on. 'I think you're _beautiful_; I'm not embarrassed to say that to you because it's just _true._ Why should you be too self-conscious to say you consider me attractive? I also think you're clever and kind and sweet, and I have no problem telling you that either.'

'Yes well.' Lily managed weakly. 'I think we've established that you've always been a bit better with emotions than I have.'

'Only in terms of expressing them.' James smiled at her flushed face and, taking pity on her, allowed the subject to drop. 'Want to go for a walk?'

Lily was more than a little startled by that. 'A walk?'

James grinned at her. 'It's a warm night and I could do with a proper breath of fresh air. Besides, there's something about the grounds at night, and you've never been out there have you?'

Lily folded her arms. 'With good reason James. I mean, I know we're breaking curfew just being out of the tower, but it's a whole different kettle of fish to go strolling around the grounds don't you think? There are Merlin only knows how many creatures in the forest for a start.'

James' grin spread a little wider. 'I never figured you for a chicken Evans.'

Low blow and he knew it; calling a Gryffindor out on their bravery was a cheap shot, but it had the effect he wanted.

Lily had only half believed him when he'd suggested the walk, but it took him less than fifteen minutes to guide her out of the castle - under the protection of the invisibility cloak – and out onto the grounds. The castle disappeared out of sight behind them, and James removed the cloak from the both of them, assuring her that they could no longer be seen from any of the windows.

The air was warm for May, and the grounds were silent but for the sounds of animals in the forest; there was no moon, but the clear skies meant that the stars cast enough illumination to see by. Still, despite the feeling of peace there was an uneasiness to being outside in the dark and quiet like this, so Lily reached her hand out until she touched James' warm skin; she slid her hand into his and felt him squeeze back reassuringly.

They walked in silence for a few moments, enjoying the peace, and – whether either of them would admit it or not – each other's sole company. It was eventually broken by James.

'You know I meant it right?'

Lily looked up at him quickly, but she couldn't make out his expression in the dark; she could see the planes of his face and the outline of his hair but none of his features. 'Meant what James?'

She felt a sharp tug on her hand and realised that he'd stopped and was pulling her back towards him; she stumbled slightly as she allowed him to pull her a step or two back and her hands came up instinctively, landing on his chest as his hands came to rest on her hips and gripped to balance her. Her heart was pounding painfully behind her ribs at the unexpected contact, the feel of his chest under her hands and the touch of his fingertips on her waist, and she was grateful again for the dark because she could feel her cheeks burning red and could only be happy that he couldn't see them. At some point she was going to have to confront these strange feelings he could apparently stir in her these days, but she really wasn't up to it right now.

'I meant it when I said that I think you're beautiful.' His voice seemed huskier, a rough edge to it that wasn't there previously, and it took her by surprise because his face was so much _closer _than she'd expected it to be. Close enough that if she stood very slightly on her tiptoes she'd be able to feel the heat of his breath mingle with hers, brush her lips across his, taste the butterbeer on his tongue.

Before she could question whether she _wanted_ to do those things or not, she felt his mouth cover hers and she lost her breath, and her thought process, entirely.

It started as just a gentle pressure of lips against lips at first, then she felt her hands slide up his chest to grip his neck and pull him a little closer, and she was sure she hadn't consciously decided to do that, but it didn't matter because the conscious part of her brain had less and less say about what was happening here. His fingertips were still resting lightly on her sides, his thumbs gently rubbing over her hipbones and she was rising on her tiptoes to press a little closer as her tongue touched his, and she heard him moan quietly in response. The blood was rushing through her head, and the hammering in her chest was almost painful now as his mouth worked across hers, his tongue meeting hers over and over again even as the touch of his skilful lips coaxed her into pushing her body closer to his until there wasn't an inch of space between them.

Their lips finally broke apart on a gasp, but Lily's hands were still linked around his neck and his still rested on her waist.

'Okay. Well. I'm not really sure what to say now.' James' voice was little more than a quiet, almost breathless rasp. 'Except…I'm sorry if that was…if that wasn't something that you wanted.'

Lily laughed weakly. 'I don't think I have any grounds to complain. No complaints here.'

'Are you sure?' Lily felt his lips press gently to her hairline, and for some inexplicable reason she felt tears prickle at the back of her eyes. Appreciative once more for the concealing darkness, she pressed her face into his chest and nodded, her hands still clinging to him.

'I'm sure. Just… don't expect me to know what to do about this.'

She felt James' warm breath in her hair. 'S'okay Lil. I don't _expect_ anything from you. It doesn't work like that.'

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**22****nd**** May 1977, 2.15pm**

Remus' silvery wolf patronus trotted happily past them, and Lily could privately admit that the sight irked her; she was _good_ at charms, but she absolutely could not get this, and the fact that other people could was _irritating_, damn it.

Sirius had been the second to produce a corporeal patronus, and for one shocking moment Lily had thought his was a wolf too, but an instant later she had realised that it had a number of distinct differences. Once she'd had opportunity to see it up close she had to admit that a shaggy, somewhat disreputable looking dog was probably the perfect representation of Sirius. She had, however, been rather surprised when James had finally produced his patronus in the shape of a stag.

She couldn't quite put her finger on why she found it odd, she just did. She even tried to think about which animal she would have guessed for him if she had put her mind to it beforehand, but she drew a blank. She just…couldn't think of any animal that could accurately represent James Potter. But a stag…that nagged at her for some reason. Mind you, quite a few things had been nagging at her recently.

Things between her and James had felt a little…_odd…_in the last few days. She supposed that was only natural when someone kissed you until your head span, then acted as if nothing had happened the next time you saw them. The thing was, she'd lain awake that night worrying that things between them_ had_ changed, since she had_ no_ idea how to deal with it if they had, and she was almost grateful when he greeted her the next morning as if everything was the same as it had been the morning before. They were still friends and everything was okay; she was relieved they hadn't messed it all up.

But the real problem was that now she couldn't help but look at him a little differently. That hadn't been a brief, almost friendly kiss like the one they'd shared before; it had been an all-consuming, overwhelming, melt the skin from your bones full on snog, and for some reason it played on repeat in her head whenever she let her mind wander.

'Excellent work everybody!' Professor Flitwick interrupted her musings as he beamed at his class from the front of the room. 'I think everybody has at least produced vapour now, last few minutes to practice now before we move on from the subject of patronuses.'

Lily scowled at that. Yes, she could easily produce vapour now and _yes_, that was good enough for her NEWT requirements, but it went against her every last nerve to leave a topic before she'd fully mastered it. Especially when other people had managed it.

She closed her eyes and tried to find a memory that was happy enough to produce a full patronus; she settled on her tenth birthday party, the last one she'd ever had. She tried the incantation and was rewarded with a strong cloud of silver vapour, but it was still just vapour.

She sighed, and racked her brains for a happier memory, something…stronger, more powerful. She was still thinking when James' laughter reached her from across the classroom, and she automatically looked over to where he was standing.

He was perched right on the corner of a desk, his hands gripping the edges and his legs stretched out in front of him as he threw back his head. His hair was ruffled and untidy as ever and his eyes sparkled as he laughed loudly at whatever Sirius was saying.

The memory of that kiss began to run through her mind again; she felt her lips curve up automatically at the sight of him, felt a warm flush run over her skin and almost without thinking she raised her wand again.

'Expecto patronum.' It was only a whisper - nothing more powerful than that - but the vapour than poured from the end of her wand instantly began to coalesce into an animal.

Oh hell, she was in trouble. Thinking about kissing James Potter apparently made her happier than any other memory she could pull from her mind; happy enough to produce a fully corporeal patronus, the embodiment of positivity.

A patronus in the shape of a doe.

Oh, Merlin.

She looked up quickly to see if anyone else was looking at her; to her everlasting relief, everyone else in the room seemed to be too focused on their own conversations to pay any attention to what she was doing. Except for Snape, who was staring at her patronus with what she could only describe as a bizarre mix of horror and hope, but as soon as he felt her eyes on him his demeanour hardened over and he looked away from her with a sneer that strangely enough seemed slightly less disdainful than usual. She vanished the patronus quickly before anyone else could notice and took her seat as Flitwick called for their attention, her mind whirring as she tried to get her thoughts straight.

Okay. Okay. She'd read a little about this. Not much, but a little. It was a sign of compatibility, she knew that much. The patronus was a physical representation of personality. It meant they had similar…souls, for want of a better term. She could probably have worked that much out for herself. She and James were similar in a lot of ways; similar beliefs, capabilities, priorities.

So it just proved how similar they were, how well they complimented each other.

Nothing more complicated than that.

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**************************A/N: I know, the patronus thing is a cliche, but I couldn't resist. Lily's denial is pretty impressive and she needs a nudge or two in the right direction :)  
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**************************And I really felt that Snape's reaction to Lily's patronus would be interesting; it might give him a little hope for a moment, until he makes the connection with James' stag. I liked getting that in there briefly.**

**************************Also, I usually write Quidditch from James' point of view, but it's hard to write a match well and I thought it would be a nice way for Lily to mull things over, so it got written from her pov for a change; I hope it wasn't weird to read.**

**************************Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far, it's lovely to hear your thoughts.**


	7. June

******************************A/N: This chapter is dedicated to the anonymous person on Tumblr who messaged me yesterday evening with a dare to update "by tomorrow". Well, it's tomorrow, so here's your update, written, edited and posted. Considering I hadn't even started it then, I'm feeling quite smug about my output pace. It's just a shame I can't manage this all the time.  
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******************************Due to the hurried nature, it's entirely possible this is riddled with mistakes - I'll get to them when I can.**

******************************Hope you like it.**

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**1****st**** June 1977, 9.55am**

It was interesting, James mused, how time changed things. Well, some things. Not others; not the fact that he could sit in Transfiguration passing notes with the other three Marauders, secure in the knowledge that he needed to make no real effort to be good at this particular subject, without being caught. They'd perfected the art of note passing long ago.

In that respect, this morning's lesson was like any other from the last six years. But other things…other things _changed_. Like the fact that his focus was not on his three friends at all, no matter how many notes they passed between them. In fact, he wished they wouldn't bother at all, because his mind was on more difficult matters at the moment.

Like the fact that it had, by his best estimation, taken him about three and a half years to go from recognising a girl by name and face and acknowledging her when he passed her, to thinking she was probably the prettiest thing he'd ever seen.

Then it had taken him about a year and a half to get past the 'I think you're so pretty that for some reason I can't help but make an arse of myself in front of you' stage.

A further three or four months of vaguely civil conversations had led to a kiss in the kitchens that _she _initiated and _he_ still wasn't entirely sure he hadn't dreamt.

Five more months of friendly interaction – and a certain amount of flirting - had got them to 'I snogged you and you snogged me right back and now neither of us knows what to do'.

And there they were stuck.

For two weeks now, neither of them had mentioned that walk the night of the Quidditch game, or what it had led to, at least not to each other; James couldn't be sure that Lily hadn't told her friends, though he was fairly certain that she hadn't. He most definitely hadn't mentioned anything to his friends, though he occasionally thought that Remus had some suspicions. Every now and then he'd catch his werewolf friend looking at him speculatively and he felt a little clench of guilt at keeping things from his friends – his brothers really – but this just felt too personal to share with anyone but Lily. And he dreaded the possibility of one of them approaching her in a misguided attempt to help if they knew; he couldn't bear it if she got the wrong idea and thought he was bragging to his friends about what had happened between them. He knew her well enough to know that would send her running for the hills.

He sighed, and failed to notice Sirius' eyes narrowing as they took in his contemplative posture and pensive expression. He had to talk to her about this and he knew it, but he'd hoped so much that she would come to _him_; that for once she would manage to stop thinking so hard about everything and just be guided by her feelings. He snorted quietly to himself. Not that there was much chance of that – Lily overthought _everything._

He was jerked back to reality by a hard dig in his ribs and he hissed in a breath as he tried not to make any vocal reaction to the pain that would draw Professor McGonagall's attention to him. He twisted slightly in his seat so that he could scowl at Sirius who was sitting just across from him.

'Bloody hell Padfoot! If you want something then pass me a bloody note would you? You'll land us both in detention at this rate.'

Sirius rolled his eyes and hissed a response back. 'Pass him a note he says. Take a look at the desk in front of you Prongs.'

James looked down to see a small pile of scribbled notes accumulated on the table in front of him. He glanced back up and smiled sheepishly, glancing quickly forwards to the seats occupied by Remus and Peter to include them in the tacit apology. 'Sorry. Mind on other things.'

He turned back in his seat so that he was once again directly facing the front of the classroom where McGonagall was outlining the legality of being an animagus whilst a floating piece of chalk wrote her words neatly across the blackboard behind her; she hadn't noticed his brief distraction apparently and he was grateful for that.

He began to quietly sift through the notes in front of him, discarding the top few which were merely insults because he hadn't responded to any of the previous notes; the ones at the bottom all related to which area of the grounds they were going to explore over the next few nights as they kept Remus company.

James pursed his lips thoughtfully. The map was almost complete now; the castle had been finished for some time - though they occasionally had to alter it when they discovered something new, something that was much less frequent now – and they had covered most of the grounds. The last few weeks had been so stressful that James was inclined to say that they should forget about trying to cover certain areas and just charge around enjoying themselves; he'd missed doing that recently.

He scribbled as much on a note and sent it flying to Sirius' waiting fingertips just as McGonagall finished speaking and dismissed them. As he glanced over at his best mate James caught sight of a flash of red as Lily rose from her seat just ahead and to the front of Sirius. She laughed at something Alice said as she and Marlene rushed from the room; they had Herbology next while Lily had a free, James remembered. He watched Lily take her time collecting her things and made a snap decision.

He waved the other Marauders on without him and made his way over to Lily. He reached over and scooped her bag up from under her startled nose.

'What do you carry in here anyway? It's a wonder you don't crumble under the weight of dragging this around all day.'

Lily huffed at him as they made their way over to the door, the last to leave the classroom, but the little smile playing on the corner of her lips told him she didn't mean it. 'I'm not a weakling you know, I can carry my own things.'

'I'm aware.' James answered calmly as he opened the door for her, ignoring the small smile on McGonagall's face at the sight of them together. It wasn't the first time she'd directed that half-approving look at him when she saw him with Lily; he suspected that his Head of House approved of what she perceived to be Lily's influence on him. 'But it would be un-gentlemanly of me to _let _you.'

'Un-gentlemanly huh?' Lily raised an amused eyebrow at him.

James grinned down at her. 'Try and be nice to a girl and all you get is scepticism. I don't know why I bother.'

Lily gave him an arch look. 'Oh, you don't huh?'

James' smile fell ever so slightly as he murmured a response he wasn't sure she could even hear. 'No, I know exactly why.' He cleared his throat and spoke a little louder. 'Actually I wanted to talk to you for a minute. Privately?'

He made sure he phrased it as a question; he had no desire to back her into a corner and make her defensive. He honestly felt that they needed to discuss things, but he also knew that she wouldn't _want_ to. Rock and a hard place.

She gave him a slightly startled look then nodded just once. James stopped alongside one of the disused classrooms and glanced around; almost everyone else was in class by now, and just a few NEWT students with free periods were left wandering around. No-one seemed to be paying any attention to them. He pulled the door open and gestured Lily in; as he followed her through the door his eyes briefly locked with those of Severus Snape, who he hadn't previously spotted sitting in an alcove further along the corridor until he noticed Snape watching him disappear into an empty classroom with Lily, his eyes a curious mix of fury and pain.

Dismissing it as a potential problem for later, James slid into the room behind Lily and closed the door, shutting Snape and whatever his problem was out.

Lily was perched on the edge of a desk, her hands clasped in her lap as she bit her lip nervously and watched him. He loved that habit, loved the way her teeth just caught the edge of her lip and rubbed slightly while her eyes unconsciously widened. It was amusing to him that her instinctive reaction to a stressful situation was to make herself look adorable; he was willing to bet that he wasn't the only man it worked on.

He stopped in front of her and smiled. 'You look like you're about to face the firing squad.'

The corner of her lip quirked. 'What do you know about firing squads?'

'I took Muggle Studies.' James kept his tone light. 'Look, Lily, I just wanted to talk about…about that night after Quidditch. You know, when I…kissed you.'

'Oh.' Lily looked down at her feet and James stuffed his hands in his pockets, feeling useless as he stared down at his shoes scuffing the floor.

'Lils, I…I'm sorry if I screwed up. I really am, and I know we've just been pretending that it never happened and that's nothing's changed but… I mean, it happened didn't it? I kissed you, and I'm not an idiot so I can tell when a girl is kissing me back, and you _did,_ which just confuses me a little because I don't know how you feel. And I just wanted to say that…if you don't want it to happen again, that's fine, but I can't pretend that I _don't_. And…I really want us to be okay, even if that means being friends and nothing else. But I need to be honest, I need you to know that I'll be the best friend I can be, but I'll probably _always _want to kiss you again.'

Lily nodded slowly. 'Okay. I…I can't say I don't want it to happen again, because I sort of do. But I'm not _ready_ for it to happen again yet.

'Okay. That's okay Lil.' James heart squeezed almost painfully as he looked up at her and he was comforted to see nothing more sinister in her eyes than confusion and anxiety. 'That _yet _gives me some hope here right?'

To his relief she smiled, a real beaming smile. 'I suppose so. It's not that I don't want to kiss you again James, it's that I'm not totally sure what that would mean; and I want to be _sure_. I love being friends with you, and I don't want to lose that because we started something, and ruined everything.'

He smiled back at her and couldn't help reaching out to touch her now; his fingertips grazed her cheekbone as he tucked a stray hair behind her ear, allowing his fingers to linger on her skin. She was scared of losing him because she thought they might bugger this up; he couldn't say he hadn't wondered the same thing. He'd just already worked through it and come to the conclusion that they'd be perfect together. Now he just had to wait for her to catch up, and contrary to what many might have said, James had a lot of patience when it came to something he really wanted.

'So we're okay? I mean, I'm happy to be your friend Lils, and I swear I'll keep my hands – and lips – to myself unless you tell me otherwise. I just want us to go back to being…relaxed…with each other. I _hate _walking on eggshells around you.' His words were soft and his tone gentle as he looked intently at her.

Lily's eyes were fixed directly on his as she reached out and caught his other hand in hers. 'We're good. We're friends. I don't want to change that – I'd miss you James. I just can't process being more than friends right now.'

James gave their joined hands a gentle tug and she willingly slid from the desk to her feet and into his arms. He felt her almost sag against him as he gathered her up, breathing in the smell of her hair and feeling her heart beating against his.

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**7****th**** June 1977, 8.15am**

'Moony, pass the butter would you?' Sirius waited a moment then scowled as Remus showed absolutely no sign of having heard him. He picked up his butter knife and poked his tall friend hard in the ribs.

'Ah!' Remus jumped and dropped his book onto his toast and jam. 'What the bloody Merlin Padfoot?'

'I said: pass the butter would you?' Sirius answered calmly, using the offending knife to indicate the butter dish that he wanted.

'And it was less effort to stab one of your best friends in the ribs than it was to just get it yourself?' asked Peter, his tone lightly amused as he watched his two friends. He reached across the table for the juice and topped up his glass. 'You ought to avoid provoking Moony, you know how touchy he gets.'

'I do not get touchy!' Remus grouched, obviously offended. 'I just don't think it's too much to ask to be left in peace to eat my breakfast.'

'I still don't have my butter.' Sirius raised his eyebrows at Remus then nodded at the butter. Remus opened his mouth, then quite visibly forced down the angry retort that wanted to come out and calmly passed the butter.

'Moony, your good temper is an example to us all.' Peter didn't even look up at his two friends, his eyes fixed on his food as he ate.

'Why are we discussing Moony's temper?' asked James as he slid into a seat at the table alongside Peter.

'Because Sirius is doing his best to trample all over it.' Replied Peter calmly.

'Ah.' No further explanation was necessary and James simply reached for the bacon without another word.

All four ate in silence for a few moments, Remus giving Sirius the occasional dirty look as he wiped the occasional patch of jam off his book.

James cleared his throat casually. 'So, does anyone know where I can buy a muggle suit?'

All three Marauders looked up at that. Remus was first to find his voice. 'A muggle suit James?'

'Yeah. A nice one.' James seemed intently interested in his breakfast this morning.

Peter shrugged. 'Okay. If no-one else is going to ask, I will. Why would you want to buy a muggle suit Prongs?'

James sighed and pushed his plate away. 'I knew I'd never get away without an explanation. This stays between us okay?' He waited for them all to nod assent before he continued. 'Lily asked me to go to her sister's wedding with her, and her sister not only is a muggle but she hates everything magical so I need to blend in, and I don't own anything suitable.'

Remus continued calmly eating his breakfast but both Sirius and Peter had frozen. James still harboured suspicions that Remus knew more about whatever it was that was going on between him and Lily than he was letting on, and his friend's reaction, or rather lack of it just encouraged his thoughts.

'Lily is taking you to a family wedding?' asked Sirius incredulously.

'A muggle wedding? You don't know anything about muggles!' Peter exclaimed in astonishment. 'If Lily's sister is going to freak out at the first sign of anything magical, why in the name of Circe's arse is she taking a pureblood to her wedding?'

Sirius frowned. 'Wait, that doesn't make any sense. Her sister can't be that freaked out about magic; I mean…Lily's a witch.'

'And when was the last time you heard Lily mention her sister?' Remus asked calmly, putting his book down.

Peter and Sirius looked at each other and Peter shrugged. 'I didn't know she had a sister until recently actually.'

Remus nodded. 'Exactly. She doesn't talk about her because they don't get on. Because her sister doesn't approve of Lily being a witch.'

Sirius snorted into his pumpkin juice. 'Doesn't approve of her being a witch? It's not a career path, it's what she is. Merlin, it's not like she's dropped out of school to become a stripper or something.'

Peter sniggered. 'Don't put images like that in Prong's head. He might spontaneously combust.'

James cuffed him across the back of the head. 'Have some respect Wormtail. And you're right Padfoot, there's no way Lily can change what she is, but _you _are walking proof that your family doesn't have to accept what you are. '

Sirius scowled at that, but he couldn't deny the accuracy of it.

'But I still don't get why she'd ask a pureblood wizard to a muggle wedding if she wants to blend in.' Peter's face clearly showed his confusion, but Remus simply leaned forward.

'Lily doesn't exactly know many muggle men and I would imagine, given her preference for privacy that she wanted to take someone who understood the situation and would be discreet about it.'

'Thank you Moony.' James seemed relieved to have someone else who understood.

'And I'd recommend Savile Row in muggle London if you're leaning towards a good suit and you have no objection to paying a high price for it.' Remus added before reaching for the juice.

'So let me get this straight.' Sirius leaned forward and lowered his voice. 'You have to go to muggle London and buy a muggle suit, which you then have to wear while you escort Lily to a muggle wedding and you both pretend to be muggles?'

James considered. 'That's about the long and the short of it, yes.'

Sirius leaned back. 'Well, that ought to be bloody entertaining. Shame we can't be there.'

A hint of slyness had crept into Sirius' tone, and James found himself brandishing a fork threateningly in his direction. 'I swear Sirius, I get even the slightest inkling of one of you crashing and I will make sure that you can never have children.'

'Simmer down Prongs, I wouldn't do that.' Sirius grinned at him. 'I may not be scared of you, but I am scared of Lily.'

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**12****th**** June 1977, 6.30pm**

For once there was very little chatter between the girls as their quills scratched across parchment. The library was reasonably quiet, only a few students spread out here and there, most of them sixth years; the other years had experienced the usual end of school wind down including a marked reduction in their schoolwork, and most of them were taking advantage of it, and enjoying the warmer, lighter evenings. The fifth and seventh years whose exams had finished were particularly raucous in the common room and that had driven the sixth year girls to the library for the third evening in a row.

'Merlin, I can't wait for term to be over.' Marlene stretched her hands high above her head and cracked her knuckles, earning a wince from Alice.

'You think we aren't going to have bucketloads of homework over the summer?' asked Emma with amusement.

Marlene shrugged. 'I know we will, but at least we won't have teachers breathing down our necks over it. And no more schedules or timetables. Sounds like bloody heaven to me.'

Alice grinned. 'I have to agree with Marls and say I'm looking forward to the summer.'

Emma laughed under her breath and threw a balled-up piece of parchment at her. 'And that wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you're going on holiday with Frank and his family?'

Alice's blush got quite a few laughs, and she turned to Lily. 'What about you Lils? Looking forward to summer?'

Lily's face fell and she directed her gaze back at her parchment. 'It might be okay after the first couple of weeks. I'll let you know if I survive them.'

The girl's exchanged confused looks that didn't go unnoticed by Lily; she sighed and dropped her quill. 'It's Tuney's wedding at the end of the month. She'd bad enough to be around anyway, but she's going to be unbearable until it's over. And Vernon's relatives are _horrendous_. I'm just dreading it.'

Marlene's brow furrowed. 'Didn't that awful letter say you had to find a date or she'd assign you one? Maybe one of us could be your date and take your mind off things!'

Lily's blush was far more impressive than Alice's had been. 'I think Tuney would have a fit if I turned up to her wedding with a female date. And I've already made arrangements actually.'

'Oh?' Emma's eyebrows rose and she fixed Lily with a quizzical expression. Unable to ignore the questioning looks from all three of her friends, Lily closed her eyes and covered them with one hand for good measure.

'James is coming with me.'

Her friends were quiet for a moment.

'Well, you kept that quiet.' Marlene broke the silence.

'Yeah, sneaky.' Alice poked at Lily with her quill. 'When did you make these arrangements, and when were you planning on telling us?'

Lily sighed and resigned herself to filling her friends in, presumably in minute detail. 'Well, I asked him on his birthday…'

Half an hour later she'd had enough of pretending to study when she was actually brooding over her sister and was packing up her things to return to the common room. She waved goodbye to the girls and left the library, taking the shortest route back to the tower.

She was halfway up one of the narrowest and darkest staircases when a voice spoke to her out of the shadows.

'You really don't listen do you?' Snape stepped out and folded his arms as he looked at her; Lily couldn't really describe the roiling mix of anxiety, disgust and fear that was taking up residence in her belly as he stopped just above her and towered over her. Still, the Gryffindor in her made her hold her ground.

'To you? No, not any more. I learnt my lesson.'

Snape's eyes darkened and his jaw tensed, but he kept his composure and his expression remained neutral.

'I told you months ago that the best thing you could do would be to steer well clear of Potter and his little gang. And now you're taking him to a family wedding?' The sneer in his voice was unmistakable.

'How on earth do you know about that?' Lily wished she could hide the astonishment in her tone but she was floored by the fact that Snape knew something she'd only told her closest friends about an hour ago.

He snorted. 'Like you could rely on Potter to be discreet. I heard him talking to his mates about it at breakfast the other day, wittering on about needing to buy a muggle suit.'

Lily folded her arms. 'You mean you were eavesdropping on a private conversation.'

His eyes narrowed. There had been a time when Lily either would not have picked up on that or wouldn't have commented on it.

'Doesn't matter. The point is, you're being a fool.'

'Oh, really?' One of Lily's eyebrows rose. 'Please, enlighten me.'

Snape took one step forward and leaned over her, bending his head closer to hers. 'Do you think that what Macnair did to you in April had anything to do with _you_?'

Lily felt a tremble run through her at the memory of the magic cutting into her as she lay frozen on the floor. Snape had stopped talking and was staring at her seriously, nodding approvingly when he realised that she understood what he meant.

'Of course the fact that you are a mud…muggle-born is a factor, but you could have been a pureblood and they would still have cursed you when the opportunity arose because of your _relationship _with Potter. A good way to get at him you see.' Snape waved a hand dismissively. 'Of course, they all think you're shagging him but I like to think you still have the smallest amount of good sense.'

He fixed her with a hard stare. 'Prove me right and end your…friendship with him. And his bunch of misfits and rejects. You'll still be a target, but at least you won't be a target twice over.'

Lily felt her spine straighten and her shoulders stiffen. 'Anyone would think you gave a damn Severus. And if you think I plan on allowing your _disgusting _friends to dictate anything about my life to me, then you are seriously mistaken!'

She pushed past him and continued up the stairs, stopping when she was a few treads above him. 'And in future, you can keep your opinions and your advice to yourself. It's not welcome.'

She left him on the staircase, staring after her with coal-black eyes that gave no trace of emotion away.

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**20****th**** June 1977, 11.45am**

The Hogwarts Express was less than twenty minutes away from King's Cross by James' estimation.

Twenty minutes before he wouldn't see Lily again for over a week.

It was strange to think that there had been times in the past when he had gone months without seeing her, something that seemed unthinkable now. Over the last six months she had become an integral part of his life; he wasn't quite sure when or how, but she was _part _of him now, and he was struggling to imagine not seeing her every night in the common room, not looking for her hair at breakfast or listening for her laugh in the corridors.

He could only be grateful that he was going home knowing that he would be seeing her on the 29th for her sister's wedding, and that he was confident that she would both write to him and visit him over the course of the next couple of months.

Watching her now, laughing with Marlene and Alice at some of Sirius' repertoire of rather vile jokes, he wondered how it had taken him so long to realise how amazing she was. He couldn't quite believe that he'd spent so long thinking that she was _pretty_. Pretty didn't even begin to cover it; for a start, she was downright beautiful with those green eyes and all that red hair and the lightest dusting of freckles across the pale skin of her face. More importantly, she was witty, and kind and unswervingly loyal, not to mention fiendishly clever; though he'd never been under any illusion about her intelligence, he'd never fully appreciated her intellect before.

'Might want to at least blink occasionally.' Remus whispered in his ear. 'You'll end up with an image of Lily seared onto your eyeballs.'

James flushed and turned his head to face his friend. Remus was smiling indulgently, without a hint of judgment on his face.

James grinned sheepishly. 'Wouldn't be so bad.'

Remus snorted a quiet laugh. 'Dear Merlin, you are arse over teakettle aren't you?'

The train whistle blew to alert the students to the fact that the train was pulling in, and suddenly the carriage was a flurry of movement as everyone tried to grab their trunks and organise themselves. They fought their way off the train and into the crowd of waiting families; Peter and Remus disappeared with their respective families almost immediately and following several hugs and shouted goodbyes; Frank took Alice home with him by side-along apparition and Marlene was engulfed by her siblings and dragged off still waving back at them.

Lily finally caught sight of her parents at the far side of the platform looking a little nervous; they may have known about the magical world for a few years now, but they still weren't very comfortable in it – especially without their daughter – and tended to hover on the edge of things.

She reached over to grab the handle of her trunk from James who frowned at her. 'If you've spotted your parents Lily, point them out and I'll carry your trunk over, but you aren't carrying it yourself.'

'I'm perfectly capable James.' Lily argued, without much heat; James was the proverbial immovable object when he got like this. He gave her a mock stern look.

'Didn't we have a conversation about gentlemanly behaviour recently? And my mother is here somewhere observing me, and she'd skin me if she thought I wasn't being chivalrous.'

Sirius tapped his shoulder and pointed off somewhere to James' right. 'And there she is.' He glanced down at Lily. 'Come say hi to my parents.'

Lily paled, but allowed James to tug her in the direction of an older but distinguished looking couple. As they got closer, it became obvious that they were his parents; James' bright hazel eyes looked back out of his mother's face, and his father's messy hair and dark colouring matched his exactly.

'Mum, Dad.' James dropped both his and Lily's trunks and hugged his parents one at a time, Sirius following his example immediately after him to her surprise. 'You look better.'

'I wish I could say the same dear.' James' mother looked at him, her eyes narrowing. 'Your hair is getting worse.'

'Blame dad. He passed it on.' He answered, completely unruffled.

'Oh, I do.' His mother assured him, and Lily couldn't quite stifle the giggle that escaped then. James' mother noticed her properly for the first time and a wide smile spread across her face as she looked from Lily to James expectantly.

'Mum, this is Lily Evans. Lily, my mother.'

'It's nice to meet you Mrs Potter.' Lily was aware of how shy her voice sounded, and she was also aware of the smile James was trying to hide.

'Lily Evans?' Mrs Potter repeated and raised her eyebrows at her son. 'Well well.' She reached out and took Lily's outstretched hand. 'I've heard a lot about you dear.'

'I've heard a lot about you too.' Lily answered. 'James is fond of telling stories about your time in the auror department.'

'Oh Merlin.' Mrs Potter rolled her eyes. 'He gets those from his father dear, so I wouldn't put too much faith in their accuracy. My husband is a natural embellisher.'

'Oi!' Mr Potter put his arm around his wife's waist and faked a hurt expression before extending his hand to Lily. 'Don't believe a word my dear. I speak only the truth.'

'With some bits tacked on to make it more interesting.' Mrs Potter murmured, not quite under her breath and Lily laughed.

'It's nice to know that James comes by that particular trait honestly then.'

James gave her a gentle dig in the ribs. 'Watch the cheek Evans. It might get you in trouble one day.'

'Try every day.' Sirius grinned at her and she laughed and stepped over to him to wrap her arms around his waist. He looked startled for a moment, but folded her up in his arms. 'See you Evans.'

She stepped away from him and back towards James, where she tried to pick up her trunk only to find it once again firmly in James' grasp.

'Point them out Lily.' He said stubbornly, and she sighed and gestured towards her parents on the opposite side of the platform. He grinned at her. 'Let's go then.'

He began to tug her towards her family as she called goodbyes to his. The second they were out of ear shot, James' parents turned to Sirius, who waved his hands defensively. 'Don't ask, I don't know. James doesn't talk about it.'

Mrs Potter pursed her lips as she stared after her son. 'That is the Lily Evans he's mentioned before isn't it?'

Sirius snorted. 'I sincerely hope there isn't another one.'

'Interesting.' Mr Potter watched over his wife's shoulder as his son shook hands with Lily's father while the girl in question hugged her mother. 'Been some developments anyway.'

'More than he's admitting to I think.' Said Sirius as he watched James with the girl he was pretty certain his best mate was in love with.

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**29****th**** June 1977, 12.45pm **

Lily flew to the door after the first knock and flung it open to reveal James. His face lit up into a wide smile and she felt her answering grin spread slowly across her face as she flung her arms around his neck and held on; his arms tightened around her waist and he buried his face in her hair.

'Hi.' He murmured into her hair.

'Hi.' She whispered back into his ear.

They didn't have to say "I missed you", or "I'm glad you're here"; it went without saying, and neither of them was sure exactly when that had become the case.

Lily eventually relinquished her hold on James' neck, and he released her immediately and stepped back to look at her outfit, which he'd only got the barest glimpse at before she'd jumped into his arms.

The pale yellow dress she wore was made of a light and floaty material that stopped just above her knees, and the cut left her neck and shoulders bare. Her hair was loose and hung in soft waves around her head. James swept his eyes over her and privately decided that he needed to keep every other male in their age range away from her.

'Beautiful as always Lily.'

To his everlasting delight, she blushed. 'You look rather dashing yourself there Potter. Nice suit.'

'Thanks.' He brushed a slightly self-conscious hand over his navy blue suit and grinned at her. 'I had no idea what would be suitable, so Remus sent me to Savile Row, to some shop named Gieves and Hawkes. They were very helpful; I told the tailor to kit me out for a wedding, and this is what I ended up with. Mind you, I took Sirius with me when I went to collect it and he was a complete liability; I thought I was going to have to Confund or Obliviate the guy for sure.'

Lily smiled up at him. 'You had a suit custom made for this?'

He jerked a shoulder. 'Didn't want to embarrass you Evans.'

There was an outraged squawk from upstairs, and Lily rolled her eyes as Petunia's voice became slowly louder and shriller. 'I don't think there's any chance that you'll be the person I'm embarrassed by today James.'

'Lily did you get the door…oh hello James.' Lily's mother paused on the stairs and looked at the two of them; at that exact moment James realised that they had somehow managed to end up holding hands, and he could feel the back of his neck beginning to burn with a blush.

'Hi Mrs Evans, it's good to see you again. You look nice.'

Lily's mum laughed and touched her hair. 'Thank you James. Not that anyone's going to be looking at me today.'

James opened his mouth again, but another series of rather hysterical sounding shrieks drifted down the stairs and Mrs Evans visibly winced. 'You'd both better get to the church. I'll see to that.' She pointed upstairs, then turned and headed back up with all the enthusiasm of a woman being summoned to an execution.

Lily turned back to James. 'To the church?' he asked, one eyebrow raised as he offered her his arm.

'To the church.' She confirmed, slipping her arm through his and pulling the door shut behind them as she stepped through.

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**29****th**** June 1977, 7.20pm**

It hadn't been as bad as she'd been expecting, Lily had to admit that much.

Well, no it had. Vernon was awful, his family was worse, and even though it was apparently the happiest day of her life, Petunia had still found the time to glower at her occasionally. But those things seemed to matter less because she didn't feel alone; James had been with her all the way through, muttering jokes – and a few rather cruel observations – to make her laugh, touching the back of her hand whenever he saw her stiffen until she relaxed again and fielding questions from her relatives like a seasoned liar, which of course he was.

The vast majority of her extended family was now convinced that she and James attended a boarding school for the gifted, were both set to work as government scientists when they left school, and that he couldn't disclose any details of his parents because he'd be breaching the Official Secrets Act. His lies were totally outrageous, but somehow he sold them to people; they didn't believe the lies, they believed _him_. Lord help the wizarding world if he ever decided to go into politics.

Looking across the table at him conversing easily with her ten year old cousin Abigail, she felt a surge of affection for him; he had to be uncomfortable with all this, and he'd made the day bearable, something she doubted anyone else would have been able to do. When the song that was playing finished and a new one started, she rose from her seat and looked over at James.

'Would you dance with me?'

He arched an eyebrow at her. 'Shouldn't** I** be asking _you_?'

She grinned. 'Well, you didn't seem likely to. Thought I'd be modern about things.'

He grinned back and then glanced down at the little girl sat next to him. 'Well, if Abigail doesn't mind…?' Abigail shook her head quickly as she stared up at him adoringly. Lily hid a smile; someone had developed a crush.

She felt James' large, slightly calloused hand close over hers and he led her over to the dance floor past several tables of her family members who looked at them approvingly. She had to admit that she understood why; parents had nightmares about who their daughters might bring home to meet them, and Lily had brought a well-dressed, handsome and apparently ultra-intelligent young man who had plenty of money if the cut of his suit was anything to go by. She was almost surprised that none of her older relatives had tried offering James a dowry yet.

He looked at her expression, then smiled and stepped closer to her, pulling her towards him. His hands settled on her back and hers landed on his shoulders and they both breathed a silent sigh of relief as their bodies brushed against each other.

Lily rested her cheek against James' chest and listened to his breathing and his heart beat as they moved gently and in perfect sync with the soft music; she was aware that Tuney was glaring at her, though for God knows what reason, and she was also aware that she and James were rather intimately touching given that the room contained basically her entire family, but she just couldn't bring herself to care.

They drifted around the dance floor, just enjoying each other's company until James lifted her hair away from her left ear with a gentle hand and whispered into it.

'Your sister is scowling at you.'

Lily tilted her head back to look up at him. 'I know. I'm starting to think that maybe it's just the only facial expression she has these days. I haven't done anything that could be considered remotely annoying today.'

James smiled down at her. 'I think she's mad because you're drawing focus.'

Lily frowned. 'Huh?'

'Well, the bride wants all the attention on her wedding day to be on her right?' he answered. 'And from what I know of your sister that's probably especially true of her. I think she's annoyed that people are looking at you.'

Lily huffed. 'Some of our relatives are looking at me because they don't see me very often, that's all; I'm not trying to steal any of her limelight. I don't _want_ to attract attention.'

His smile spread a little wider as he leaned down and pressed his forehead into hers. 'Then you should have worn a different dress.' He shifted his head to brush a kiss over her cheekbone and Lily caught sight of her mother's appraising look out of the corner of her eye and she could feel the blush spreading across her cheeks. This being friends thing was turning out to be a little harder than she'd anticipated.

******__****************__****(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) __****(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)**

******************************A/N: I couldn't bring myself to write Petunia's wedding in any kind of detail, firstly because it wasn't important, but mainly because it's about to come up in the TT sequel, and I'll be damned if I'm writing her wedding twice in one week.  
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******************************Review and you will receive my undying gratitude. **


	8. July

**A/N: Sorry for the delay with this chapter everyone, but I got distracted. I started an outtake for Turning Tables and a new fic for Jily Pirate Fest. **

**Anyway, it's done now, and I promise to do my best to be quicker with the next one. **

_**(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) **_**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

**6****th**** July 1977, 8.45pm**

Lily closed the door of her room behind her and heaved a sigh of relief. If someone had told her last week that she'd miss Petunia's scowling presence she'd have laughed, but now Petunia was away on her honeymoon with the dreaded walrus, and she was the sole focus of her parents attentions. She was sure that would have sounded nice to most people; those people had never met Lily's mother.

Rosemarie Evans was the best mother Lily could have asked for, and she loved her dearly, but when it came to the subject of boys she had about as much rationality as a Hippogriff, and since that fateful meeting with James on the platform she'd been poking and prodding for as much information as possible. Information that Lily was not keen on being forthcoming with.

Then there had been the wedding. An event that James had shown up to in an incredibly expensive and well-tailored suit (Lily still felt a little guilty about how much he must have spent on something he'd probably only ever wear once) and had proceeded to convince the vast majority of her family that he was God's gift. Her mother had spent the last week acting like Lily was Jane Bennett, and she'd spotted Mr Bingley.

'Will we be seeing James again over the summer? Perhaps you ought to invite him over.'

'Where did you say he lived again? And what do his parents do?'

Her father had chosen to maintain a stony silence on the entire topic. He'd ignored his wife's suggestions that they invite the Potter's over for a nice meal, had responded only with grunts when asked if he thought Lily and James made a pretty couple at the wedding and had growled under his breath when Rosemarie suggested Lily invite James stay, since she "must be lonely without her sister".

Between her father's apparent disapproval, and her mother's fantasies of James as a son-in-law, Lily would have been extremely grateful to have Petunia around to draw some of the attention away from her for a while, even if it meant being screamed at every now and again.

She loved her parents, and missed them when she was away, but the pressure of being around them constantly was draining. She'd compromised by spending most of the day with them if they were home, then retreating to her room after dinner to write letters to her friends.

And now she was just lying to herself wasn't she? Because yes, she did write to Marlene, and Alice, Emma and Remus, and God help her she'd even written to Sirius, but that wasn't who she was writing to every day was it? She wrote to them once, maybe twice a week. She wrote to James every day.

Every damn day, she wrote something to him, even if she didn't send it immediately, and even though nothing interesting had happened and she didn't really have anything to say. She just put her quill on the paper and words poured out. What was really amazing was that he replied. Every time, even though all she sent him were random streams of consciousness that should really be impossible to reply to.

It was baffling.

She sat down at her desk and pulled a fresh sheet of parchment to her, picking up her favourite quill – birthday gift from Remus, God bless him – and dipping into her blue ink.

_James, _

_I miss Petunia. _

_I can't believe I said that, but it's true. I mean, I always missed her, in the sense that I missed actually being friends with her, but now I just wish she was here, even if it meant she was calling me names and yelling at me. _

_I think there's something seriously wrong with me. I'm a masochist. _

_My mother is on at me to invite your parents round for dinner. Do me a favour and intercept any mail that comes for your parents with my owl; Mum is absolutely sneaky enough to try and borrow Sadie without telling me._

_Though to be fair she's not having much opportunity at the moment, since I'm keeping Sadie so occupied with my letter writing; I think I'm writing to everyone I know._

_Did you know that Alice is going to stay with Frank for a few days before he starts auror training? She scared stiff; apparently his mother is terrifying. Marly thinks she should just hex her right from the off and be done with it, but I've been the voice of reason and suggested that she not assume the worst. It's poor Frank I feel sorry for, trying to referee between his mother and his girlfriend. _

_I got a letter from Marly today – finally, she's awful at writing back – and I'm going to stay with her next week, so that should give you a break from answering my letters, since I won't be able to write so often. _

_I'm sure you're too busy to be spending time reading and responding to my ramblings anyway; you have Sirius to look after. I imagine it to be somewhat like being a keeper at the monkey house of a zoo. _

_I'm stopping now. _

_Love _

_L_

She sealed the letter and dropped it one her desk, tapping the fingernails of one hand on the desk in a rhythmic pattern. Sadie was home, so she could send it off now, or she could wait for James' owl to arrive tomorrow morning and send it back with him. That was, assuming that James had written back to her today anyway. Which he might not have done. Not that it mattered. Not at all. He might have been busy.

She was insane.

Sighing, she pulled another piece of parchment from the pile and started another letter. James' letter could wait a few hours; she had a more important one to send.

_Marly,_

_What would you say if I told you that I might – hypothetically - fancy James Potter?_

_Lily_

She sealed the letter and sent it with Sadie before she could second guess herself.

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) _**_**(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)**_

**7****th**** July 1977, 12.30pm**

Lily hummed as she tidied up after lunch; she liked doing chores the muggle way from time to time. It was soothing in a way. She supposed she might not feel that way if she had to do it all the time, but since she didn't have to do chores often, and she always had the option of her wand if she did, she found herself humming along to the radio and dancing around the kitchen as she put dishes away.

'Someone's cheerful.' Her mother's voice from the hallway made her jump and almost drop a plate, and she slapped her hand over her heart.

'Merlin mum, you nearly killed me!'

Rosemarie's lips twitched. 'Well, if you hadn't been humming and dancing round the kitchen, you might have heard me come in. I repeat; someone's cheerful.'

Lily shrugged. 'No reason not to be.'

'Hmm.' Rose crossed to the sideboard and flicked the kettle on. 'Seems to me that you've been more cheerful than normal recently.'

'Do you think so?' Lily resumed her tidying.

'Yes I do.' Said her mother, obviously not going to be deterred by the fact that her daughter was resolutely keeping her back to her. 'Something's obviously perking you up these days. Or someone.'

Lily laughed. 'Maybe I'm just happy to be home Mum.'

'That might work on your father sweetheart, but it doesn't fool me.' Rosemarie fished two mugs from the cupboard and added sugar, tapping her spoon on the countertop as she waited patiently for the kettle. 'I may be your mother, but I'm also a woman, and I know that it's a man that's put that kind of spring in your step.'

Lily spun round to gape at her mother. 'On behalf of all feminists everywhere, I am thoroughly ashamed of you for that statement.'

'Oh hush.' Her mother poured boiling water into the teapot and absently continued going through the motions of brewing tea. 'This is about _you_ Lily, not feminist principles. I'm not suggesting that you need a boyfriend to be happy, I'm merely pointing out that the appearance of a certain candidate for the position and your good mood seem to have coincided.'

'Mum.' Lily turned to face her mother, leaning back against the counter. 'James isn't my boyfriend.'

'I know that sweetheart.' Rosemarie passed her a mug of tea which Lily gratefully sipped at. 'But I also know that you want him to be.'

Lily's head jerked up and she stared at her mother, whose hand gently brushed her cheek. 'You're so much like your father. You observe and analyse and try to think through every last blessed thing; some things don't stand up to scrutiny like that sweetheart. Sometimes you've just got to dive in and see how things_ are_, instead of worrying about what they _might_ be.'

They were interrupted then by the arrival of Sadie, closely followed by a tawny owl that they both recognised as James'. Each delivered a letter and accepted a treat before swooping back outside to perch next to each other in the same tree.

Lily's mother smiled over her mug. 'I'll leave you to read your mail in peace.'

She wandered out, humming softly to herself, and Lily settled down at the table, still slightly baffled by the conversation they'd just had.

She looked at the two letters, and eventually decided to bite the bullet and open Marlene's first.

_Lily,_

_What would I say if you told me that you might – hypothetically - fancy James Potter?_

_I would say: 'Really? I would never have guessed.'_

_And I would have said it in the most sarcastic tone possible. _

_But since I'm such a fantastic friend, I'm not going to mention this to anybody, including Sirius, despite the fact that he's been trying his very best to get me to "find out what's going on between her and my best mate, because he won't tell me anything, the bastard". _

_Marly_

Lily read the letter again, sighed and reached for James'.

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) _**_**(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)**_

**12****th**** July 1977, 9.20am**

James reached for the butter and found it snatched out from under his hand by Sirius who held it away from him triumphantly.

'I'm not giving it back until you tell me what's going on with you and the redhead.'

James gave him an incredulous look. 'You're going to hold the butter hostage?'

'No.' Said Sirius firmly. 'I'm going to harass you and impede everything you do until you spill your guts. That includes preventing you from buttering your toast.'

'Seems a little extreme Sirius.' Mr Potter didn't even lower his newspaper as he spoke. 'Are you really going to dedicate that much time and effort into prying into your brother's love life?'

Sirius looked over at him, eyes wide. 'I'd tell him about mine Charlus! It's hardly fair.'

'I don't want to know about yours do I?' James muttered, glaring at Sirius and surreptitiously pulling his wand out below the table.

'But I'd still tell you!'

'Oh Sirius, leave him alone.' Mrs Potter rolled her eyes as James used a quick accio charm to send the butter flying towards him and Sirius lunged after it in an attempt to keep it away. 'If he doesn't want to talk about it, then he doesn't.'

'Thank you Mum.' James said with as much dignity as he could muster when he was wrestling Sirius for a butter dish.

'You should be on my side here Dorea, I know you're interested.' Sirius let go of the butter dish and straightened up in his seat.

'Maybe, but at least I know when badgering won't do me any good.' Dorea replied calmly, sipping at her coffee.

The post owls swooped in, bringing their usual array of mail including, of course, the morning paper and a letter from Lily.

James picked the envelope and couldn't help the little smile that crossed his face when he thought about the fact that Lily was writing to him more or less every day. Her letters were usually just a jumble of thoughts, whatever was on her mind at the time, and he liked it like that; it reminded him of their actual conversations, when they just chatted casually about anything and everything, more for the pleasure of each other's company than anything else.

He frowned a little as he realised that the envelope she'd sent today was significantly thicker than usual; he opened it neatly and pulled out a folded piece of parchment and another smaller envelope, made of brightly coloured paper that felt almost plasticky to the touch. He unfolded the note and scanned through it quickly.

_James_

_I feel a bit stupid sending you these, and I don't know if you'll actually want them, but I ordered extra copies so...just send them back if you don't want them._

_I'm off to stay with Marly, so I can't write you a proper letter right now because she'll skin me if I'm late meeting her, but I'll write to you soon._

_You'll probably enjoy having a break from my letters anyhow._

_Love _

_L_

Pretending he didn't feel a little pang at the thought of not hearing from her so regularly, James turned his attention to the little envelope. Pointedly ignoring the watchful eyes of his family, he opened it and pulled out a handful of muggle photographs.

Him and Lily laughing as they sat at their table, her hand resting lightly on his arm, her body tilted towards him.

Lily holding onto his arm for support as she stood on her tiptoes to wave her sister's wedding car off.

Him surrounded by a sea of Lily's relatives while she stood off to one side and watched him being grilled, her lips pulled up in a cocky grin.

The two of them dancing, his hands resting on her back and hers locked round his neck while she tilted her head back to look up at him.

Another of them dancing, her head turned to one side and resting against his chest and his face buried in her hair.

He lingered on that one, taking in the small smile on her face and the way her fingers clung to his shoulder. It was strange to look at muggle photos; with no movement to tell you what was going on you could almost make up your own stories about the people in the images.

He was jolted back to reality when someone cleared their throat, and he looked up to see his entire family watching him curiously. To be fair, he was smiling so hard his face hurt so it was no wonder really.

He passed the photos to his mother with a shrug. Since he had every intention of keeping them, and of plastering every available surface in his room with them, they might as well see them now.

His mother's face lit up with a smile. 'Oh, there's something so wonderful about muggle photos! They're like those snow globe things; perfect little moments preserved.'

She flicked through the photos, her smile widening with every one she looked at until she came to the last one, the one that James had lingered on. She passed the others to her husband, but simply stared at the shot of him and Lily dancing, her face unreadable.

'Mum?' James interrupted her reverie. 'Are you okay?'

'Yes. Yes.' She looked up and gave him a smile, though he thought it looked a little weak. 'I'm fine. It's just seeing you all grown up. My baby boy.'

James groaned. 'Oh bloody hell mum, don't start with all that.'

She smiled at him, a full smile this time. 'I'm allowed – mother's privilege.'

'Don't worry Dorea.' Sirius was looking at the photos now, his eyebrows raised. 'You'll still have me. I don't plan on growing up for a long time. Lily's got one hell of a set of pins doesn't she?'

James snatched the photos back and whacked Sirius across the back of the head with his napkin.

_**(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)**_

**16****th**** July 1977, 2.15pm**

Dorea opened the door to James' room quietly and slid in, clean laundry clutched in her arms. It had upset the house elves no end when she'd told them that she wanted to take it up to his room, but she felt better about having a legitimate reason for being in there. Not that motherly concern wasn't a good reason; she just knew James wouldn't see it that way.

She placed the clean clothes on his bed and looked around his room. It looked much like it always had, but she felt like she could see the changes in it today, see the change in him reflected in his surroundings.

The Quidditch posters and childhood scribblings of his youth were long gone from his walls, replaced by photos of his friends and a Gryffindor banner. No more toys scattered on the floor; instead there were textbooks piled on the desk, alongside an open inkwell and a stack of parchment. His school trunk was slung in one corner, the top open and his school Quidditch robes hung over the side.

Unable to help herself she wandered over to the desk and touched the parchment that lay across it; an unfinished letter to Lily.

_Lily, _

_Stop being ridiculous, I love getting your letters. I'd miss them if you didn't write. _

_I miss __you__. _

_I know I probably shouldn't say things like that, but I do. Even though it's only been a little more than two weeks since I saw you. I'm holding Hogwarts responsible. If they'd let us sit our apparition test this year I would be able to see you whenever I wanted. _

_I have seen Frank actually, I caught up with him yesterday, and he said that he thought Alice's visit with his family went well; that's quite a different story to the one Alice tells. _

She dropped the letter with a sigh, and squashing the guilt, opened the drawer in his desk. There was a stack of folded parchment in the top one, James' name written on them in Lily's handwriting. He kept her letters.

She closed the drawer swiftly, before the urge to pry further and read them overpowered her.

She wandered over to the wall where he'd stuck up photos in a haphazard manner. There were pictures of the Gryffindor Quidditch team in its various incarnations, pictures taken at family events, photos of James and the Marauders, of his other friends, including Marlene, Alice and several others. But it was Lily's face she sought out; and her face was there a lot.

Lily laughing along with the group; Lily thrown over Sirius' shoulder; Lily and James walking arm in arm. And the pictures from Petunia's wedding.

She couldn't say how long she stood there, but she jumped when the door opened behind her and she spun around quickly; to her relief, it wasn't James coming in but Charlus, his brow furrowed in confusion at finding his wife in James' room.

'Everything okay Dor?' He asked.

She gave him a weak smile. 'Fine. Everything's fine.'

He nodded. 'What are you doing in here?'

'Putting James' laundry away.' She answered calmly, crossing to James' bed and beginning to stack his clean clothes in neat piles to go in his wardrobe.

'So the house elves told me when I asked where you were. I didn't believe them either.' Charlus perched on the edge of the bed and looked at her intently. 'What's wrong Dor?'

She sighed and sat down next to him. She should have known that he'd see right through her. 'Nothing's wrong. I was just…I was thinking about him. About how he's not my baby boy anymore.'

Charlus scoffed. 'He'll always be your baby boy.'

She rose and crossed to the wall of photos. 'Have you ever looked at these Charlus? His photos I mean.'

He crossed the room to stand next to her. 'No, not really.'

'Neither had I. Look at them.' Dorea gestured towards the wall. 'Seeing those pictures at breakfast the other day…it was a shock. It made me realise how much he's changed, and…I've missed it.'

'He's been at school Dor; you haven't neglected him, or ignored him. He's just growing up, and we only see him at breaks.' Charlus sounded mildly exasperated.

'I know that.' She answered. 'And it doesn't upset me that he's grown up; I'm so proud of the person he's becoming actually. It's that he doesn't tell me everything anymore. He's growing away from me, and I know that's the right thing, but it's hard to realise.'

Charlus put his arm around her shoulder and gave her a reassuring squeeze. They stood silently, looking at James' pictures for a few moments before Dorea spoke again.

'He's in love with her.' Charlus didn't say anything.

'He's in love with her and I didn't realise.' She said quietly. 'I knew he liked her – talks about her enough - and when I saw them at the station, I thought that maybe they were dating, or getting there anyway. But he didn't say anything, and I know he'll only talk if he wants to so I just left it. And then I saw that picture.' She indicated the photo of James and Lily dancing, her wrapped up in his arms and his face pressed to her hair. 'And I suddenly knew that he's in love with her.'

Charlus tightened his grip. 'Well…I'm not sure a father knows what to say on topics like this. But it's not a bad thing, is it Dor? Lily's a good girl, and…looking at that picture, I'd say that there's a fair chance she returns his feelings.'

Dorea leaned her head on his arm. 'I think you're probably right. And yes, she seems a lovely girl. And I want my son to have what we have with someone. But not now. There's a war, and she's a muggleborn, and we're blood traitors…' She trailed off. 'I just wish this hadn't happened until long after all this is over.'

Charlus sighed. 'Some things you can't change.'

The door behind them slammed open and James stopped just as he entered the room, obviously surprised to see them there. He slowed his pace and walked slowly over to his bed and threw the book he was carrying down onto it.

'I didn't do it.' He said slowly, looking from one parent to another.

His father frowned. 'Didn't do what?'

'Whatever you're here to gang up on me about.'

His mother started laughing and Charlus twisted to face her, startled by her unexpected reaction. James' face was set in an equally perplexed expression.

'I'm sorry! Sorry.' Dorea took several gulps of air as she regained control, then she walked over and engulfed a startled James in a hug. 'I was doing your laundry and I got distracted by your pictures, and then your father came looking for me. We weren't waiting for you.'

'Oh.' James still looked confused, and Dorea stepped back from him, her hands resting on his arms as she looked him over.

'I was looking at how grown up and handsome you are in those pictures, and then you came in and said the exact same thing you would've said when you were ten years old.' She engulfed him in another crushing hug and James stared frantically over her shoulder at his father, hoping for a clue about this odd behaviour; his father just shrugged.

Dorea kissed his forehead and stepped away. 'You're still my sweet baby boy.'

'Mum.' His cheeks flushed, and Dorea patted him on the cheek and laughed delightedly before tucking her arm through Charlus' and leading him out of the room. James stared after them, completely dumbfounded.

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**20****th**** July 1977, 11.30am**

'Letter for you.' Marlene dropped the envelope on the coffee table directly in front of Lily who blushed and ignored it.

'Popular aren't you? Letters every day more or less.' Marlene's mother smiled at the two girls from her seat across the living room, and Marlene snickered as she flopped down on the sofa next to Lily.

'Popular with a certain very select group Mum.'

Lily kicked her in the shin. 'If you don't mind, I'm going to go read my letter.'

Marlene waved a bored hand. 'Go ahead. I wouldn't want to deprive you of your fix of Potter.'

Lily blushed and left the sitting room, trying to pretend that she couldn't hear Marlene's mother asking if she meant_ James_ Potter, and if he was the one who wrote to Lily so often, and if they were an item. She closed the door to Marlene's room and flopped on her stomach on her camp bed.

_Lily_

_I'm glad you're having a good time staying with Marlene. Honestly, I was starting to get a bit worried, you sounded quite down about being at home. _

_Anyway, you seem a bit happier now, so I'm glad. _

_I think you should be happy that Petunia sent you a postcard from her honeymoon. I know she only wrote one sentence, but she still thought of you and sent you a postcard right? Moony would probably say something profound about the power of positive thinking, but alas I am not him and don't have his way with words. Or his insight into the mystery that is the female mind. The rest of us prefer not to speculate on how he knows all this stuff about girls, but I have to admit that every now and again I get curious. _

_Maybe you could ask him for me._

_What am I up to this week? Well, Sirius and I played so much Quidditch yesterday that I'm not sure I ever want to see a quaffle again. I might quit the team when we get back to school. _

_The other houses would be pleased – they might actually get a chance to win the cup! (That was a joke, I'm not that arrogant. A little cocky maybe, but not that arrogant.) _

_I wanted to ask if you were busy next month actually, because Mum has said I can invite you to stay. If you'd like to. I was thinking the second week, around the 8__th__? Mainly because Sirius is supposed to be staying with Marls for a few days that week, so you won't have to suffer the joy of his presence for too long. _

_Just let me know if you can. Or if you don't want to that's fine as well. _

_But I'd like to see you. _

_Write back._

_Love _

_J_

Lily dropped the letter onto the floor in front of her and rested her head on her folded arms. Stay with James. That was…dangerous.

But she really, really wanted to.

Merlin.

She lifted her head when she heard the door open, and Marlene smiled gently as she came in and sat on the edge of her bed.

'From James then?'

Lily nodded. 'He's uh…asked me to stay with him next month.'

Marlene raised her eyebrows. 'Are you going?'

'Don't know. Don't know if I should.' Lily's head sank back onto her arms and Marlene sighed and slid off her bed and onto the floor next to Lily.

'Lils. I know that you haven't wanted to talk about James, and that's okay. I mean, I haven't even asked you about that note you sent me, and I've been bursting to. But if you do…want to talk about it, you can talk to me. I won't tell anyone else.'

Lily's head rose. 'I'm sorry Marly. I never meant to make it seem like I couldn't talk to you. I know I can. You were the only one I could have sent that note to, knowing that you wouldn't laugh at me.'

Marlene raised a hand to stop her and shook her head. 'I'm not bent out of shape that you haven't talked to me. It's your business. I'm just offering you the chance to unload; I know that we're not always the "serious talk" type friends, but you can trust me with this.'

Lily smiled gratefully, and after a seconds thought, dismissed the internal war her head was fighting over this and blurted out the words that she'd been keeping bottled up for so long.

'I kissed him on New Year's Eve.'

Marlene let out a low whistle. 'Oh.'

'Yeah.' Lily blew out a breath. 'He kind of kept me company and cheered me up, and at midnight I just, I just went with instinct. And I kissed him.' She tangled her fingers together and stared at them as she continued. 'We pretty much haven't mentioned it since, but then we sort of started talking, and we became friends, and, well you know that much.'

'It was quite obvious.' Agreed Marlene.

'And then we kissed again. Back in May. But this time _he _kissed _me_, and afterwards we talked about it and I said that I wasn't sure how I felt, but I knew that I liked him. And I wasn't ready to start anything yet, and he said that was fine.'

'Okay.' Marlene spoke slowly. 'And since you two haven't been fighting, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that he was okay with that?'

Lily nodded and Marlene carried on. 'Then what's wrong? Sounds like you're more or less on the same page, so there's no reason you can't go and stay with him; I know you miss him.'

Lily bit the inside of her cheek and wondered whether she ought to answer honestly. Closing her eyes, she blurted it out.

'Because if I spend a week at his home, we're guaranteed to end up alone and I don't know that I won't just pounce on him.'

'Maybe that wouldn't be so bad.' Lily slammed her eyes open in time to see Marlene's face curl into a wicked grin. 'Get it out of your system so to speak.'

Lily eyed her. 'Sirius must lead an interesting life.'

'I do my best to save him from boredom.' Marlene flopped on her back on the floor alongside Lily's camp bed. 'So what are you going to do?'

Lily closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands. 'I don't know.'

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**25****th**** July 1977, 4.45pm**

James sat on his bed and stared at the envelope with his name written on the outside in Lily's neat script. For reasons he didn't really want to consider, he was nervous about opening it.

It had been five days since he'd written to invite her to stay at Potter Manor. He'd been extremely unsure about that, but he wanted to see her and his mother had been pushing, and he'd finally done it…and she hadn't answered.

Five days. The longest she'd gone without answering a letter since school had ended. He was horribly afraid that he'd scared her off for good.

Cursing himself for being an idiot, he ripped the envelope open; better to get it done.

_James_

_Sorry about the delay in answering – Marlene was keeping me busy. The girl is like a mini-tornado – Sirius must be exhausted all the time. _

_And there is no way I'm questioning Remus for you; you want insight into your friend's weird mind, __you __ask him._

_You and I both know that you could never quit the Quidditch team, though I don't doubt that the other houses would be pleased. And you are the cockiest person I've ever met. I'm not saying you don't have the right to be cocky when it comes to Quidditch, but the point stands. _

_I had to owl my parents to ask about staying with you, so waiting for a reply delayed this letter as well. But if the offer is still open, I would love to come and stay with you._

_Just let me know when, and I can make arrangements to come._

_Love _

_L_

James flopped back on his bed and breathed an enormous sigh of relief. She wasn't mad at him. And she was coming to stay.

Two weeks.

He could do two more weeks without her.

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**A/N: Reviews are lovely. Yes, that is a hint. Subtle, no?  
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	9. August

**A/N: That was quicker than last time right? I'm not sure about this chapter, something about it is niggling at me, but I don't know how many times I've revised and edited it now, so I think this is as good as it gets. I'd describe it as pretty fluffy with just a slight hint of angst.  
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**I appreciate everyone who has read, reviewed, followed or otherwise supported this story. Big thanks also to everyone who read and reviewed my Jily one-shot, _And The World Turns Slower_ too.**

**You guys are awesome.**

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**8****th**** August 1977, 11.45am**

The voices from the kitchen weren't loud, but they were loud enough that Lily paused in the hallway instead of going straight in.

'I'm just not so sure about this Rose.' Her father's voice wasn't angry, but there was a low edge to it that Lily didn't think she recognised. William Evans wasn't an argumentative man, and he tended to allow himself to be led by his wife; if they were arguing, then it was unusual and she didn't want to hear it. She turned back towards the stairs and began to creep back towards them when the next words made her stop in her tracks.

'He's a teenage boy. They have…urges.' Her father said darkly, and Lily could just imagine him folding his arms emphatically as he sat in one of the kitchen chairs and scowled.

Lily's curiosity overwhelmed any scruples she might have had about eavesdropping on her parents' conversations, and she stayed frozen on the spot, ears straining to catch the rest of their words.

'Yes, he is a teenage boy. A teenage boy that you have no good reason to distrust. And_ she_ is a teenage girl that we have always, always trusted. There is nothing to worry about.' Her mother sounded unusually exasperated; this discussion must have been ongoing for some time then.

'Rose, it is one thing to trust our daughter, but it is another thing entirely to trust a boy _with_ our daughter for an entire week without us.'

Lily stiffened. They were talking about her? And James, obviously. She stifled the frustrated groan that wanted to escape; they'd been through this the minute she'd come home from Marlene's, and she thought she'd satisfied any doubts they might have had during that little interrogation.

'William.' Lily recognised that tone, and winced on her father's behalf. 'If you have concerns about the nature of Lily's relationship with James, perhaps you should discuss it with her. But we have no reason to stop her going, and in any case James will be here to collect her very shortly, so it's too late now.'

Deciding that she might as well intervene after all, before there was any possibility of parental permission being revoked, Lily walked as loudly as she could possibly manage without being overly obvious along the hallway and into the kitchen.

'I'm packed, thought I'd make myself a cup of tea while I wait for James.' She smiled at her parents and flicked the kettle on, opening the cupboards for mugs and assorted tea-making paraphernalia.

'So just to be clear, our house is going to be placed on the…floo network?' Rose asked, hesitating over the still unfamiliar word.

'Uh huh.' Lily nodded absently as she fiddled with her mug. 'James' dad knows someone in pretty much every department at the Ministry of Magic, and he pulled some strings. The house is being connected just for an hour or so today and then it'll be reconnected for a short time when James brings me back. So you don't need to worry about strange wizards dropping in or anything in the meantime.'

'That sounds very responsible, don't you think William?' Rose narrowed her eyes at William, who managed to offer a grunt in response.

The conversation was cut off by a roaring sound coming from the lounge that made both her parents jump; Lily, however, recognised the sound immediately and rushed towards the living room, pausing at the doorjamb. James was standing in front of the fireplace, dusting himself off, and he glanced up when he caught sight of Lily and smiled widely at her. 'Don't mind me being a little eager to collect you do you?'

She responded by crossing the room, and hitting him full force at chest height. He staggered back a step or two at the impact, but he laughed anyway and scooped her up for a hug. 'I'm going to assume that was a no.'

Rose appeared in the doorway, and James acknowledged her with a smile and a nod over Lily's head as he lowered her back to the floor. Lily relinquished her grip on him and stepped away, a smile still fixed on her face. 'I'll get my stuff.'

'Want me to come grab your trunk?' Asked James, and Lily turned her smile back on him and gestured for him to follow her. It took them only a few moments to gather her belongings up from her room, and most of those were spent trying to get James back out of the room without him poking through her things.

When they arrived back in the lounge, Rose and William were both standing near the fireplace, and Lily bit her lip to keep from laughing at her father's rather petulant expression; presumably her mother had been the victor in the argument. Again. There were a few quick goodbyes, then Lily stepped into the fireplace before any possibility of her not going could be raised.

She looked at James for instruction, and he offered her a pouch of floo powder, and hesitated a little before he spoke. 'Potter Manor should do it.'

She smirked at his discomfort as she raised her hand. 'Rich boy.' The she dropped her handful of floo powder, spoke the words and disappeared in the green flame.

She landed in a large stone fireplace, and stepped quickly out onto a richly patterned red rug. She dusted herself off, and just as she was beginning to look around the room with interest James stepped out from behind her, dragging her trunk with him.

'Come on Evans, I'll show you your room.' He caught her hand with his free one and began to tug her along.

'What room are we in now?' she asked, still looking around at her surroundings as she obediently followed him towards the door. There were large bookcases against the wood-panelled walls, and a desk stood in the corner directly next to the sizeable window.

'Dad's study.' James answered. 'We tend to connect this room to the main floo network when we need to use it, because it's not connected to the house network. I guess you can't be aurors for as long as my parents were without being at least a little paranoid.'

'Oh.' She fell silent as they left the room and began to walk along a hallway towards a staircase. She didn't really know what to say; she might have joked about it with him before, but she hadn't really realised _how _wealthy his family were. Wealthy enough to have a house large enough to have its own internal floo network apparently.

James instinctively noticed her discomfort and pulled her a little closer to him. 'You aren't _nervous _are you? You've already met my family.'

'No.' Lily said, her voice wobbling only slightly. 'No.'

James glanced sideways at her, a little smile tugging at his lips. 'Okay, a little.' She admitted. 'This is all just a little more…overwhelming than I was expecting.'

James shrugged. 'It's just a house. I grew up here, so I guess I don't think of it as "the Manor". It's just my home.'

She didn't respond, and his eyes narrowed as he observed her posture, the tension in her shoulders, and thinking quickly he stopped them in the hallway alongside a big tapestry depicting Godric Gryffindor. He dropped her trunk and turned to face her properly. She was biting her lip in her nervousness, and he reached out a thumb and ran it along her lip, gently removing it from between her teeth. 'This has only hung here since the summer after my second year; my mother hates it, but it is a necessary evil.'

He smiled at her confused look, and he turned away from her to pull the tapestry aside, revealing an enormous crack, surrounded by scorch marks. She looked a little startled, and he supposed the scar on the wall was incongruous with the rest of the house.

'Sirius and I were playing indoor Quidditch, but we were using Filibuster fireworks instead of a quaffle…that way you have a time limit see, you have to score before it goes off. We managed to enchant these hoops to work a bit like portkeys, if you get the firework_ through_ it, it's magically transported outside and it goes off no harm done. And we were usually pretty good at banishing them just before they were about to go off anyway, but we misjudged one, and …yeah.'

He trailed off, his free hand running sheepishly through his hair while his other held the tapestry, and she looked at him incredulously. 'Indoor Quidditch? On, like, _actual_ broomsticks? _Actually _flying around indoors?'

If anything, James managed to look a little more shamefaced. 'Yeah.'

'And you decided that magical fireworks would be a good addition to this already ridiculous game?'

'Well…' he dropped the tapestry and folded his arms in an attempt to prevent his fingers from continuing to rake through his hair. 'We were bored. And thirteen. And more than a little daft without Remus to point out our stupidity.'

Lily stepped forward and pushed the tapestry aside to run her hands over the scarred wall. 'Why didn't you get rid of it?'

'Don't think we didn't try.' Charlus' voice was surprisingly loud in the hallway as he approached them, and it made them both jump. 'Bloody Filibusters. In the end we just stuck that up over it until we could think of a way to fix it, then we never got round to finding a permanent solution. Every now and then Dorea walks past the tapestry and complains about how ugly it is, but still, we never seem to find the time to fix it.'

He stopped alongside his son and ruffled his hair, smiling at Lily as he did so. 'Nice to see you again Lily. Glad you're here - James has been pining.'

'Dad.' James rolled his eyes and hissed the words out, the flush beginning to creep up his neck.

'Well, I'm glad I could ease his suffering.' Lily answered somewhat shyly, and Charlus' lips twitched. He moved past them, heading towards his study that they had so recently vacated, and patted her on the shoulder as he went. 'You're a sweet girl, and much too good for him if I may say so.'

'Oh, Merlin.' James fixed his eyes determinedly on the ceiling and refused to look at either his father or Lily, the latter of who was trying to stifle her giggles. 'Your room is this way.' He picked up her trunk and began to walk ahead of her, still facing resolutely forward, and she followed in his wake, her eyes darting back to the tapestry as they went.

For some strange reason, she felt much more relaxed now, and some little part of her was all lit up inside because she knew that had been his exact intention; to make her see this house as his home, rather than some scary ancestral manor house.

It was just a sodding metaphor for James Potter wasn't it, this house? All that unexpected warmth and depth under a shiny surface. She cocked her head to one side and observed him as he walked along in front of her; to be fair, the surface had its good points anyway.

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**10****th**** August 1977, 1.40pm**

Lily wandered towards the kitchen, following the directions of the house elf who'd told her that James could be found in there. She wasn't sure _which_ house elf; the Potter's had more than one, and she found it difficult to keep track of them because they were usually so discreet that you didn't see them unless you called for one. It had been sheer fluke that she'd managed to catch one of them just as they were collecting the laundry from her room.

As she walked slowly along, she realised she could hear the sound of the wireless and James singing along to a song she didn't know. She followed the sound of his voice and took a few steps into the kitchen and stopped, dumbstruck.

James was carelessly and artlessly cooking.

James Potter. Was cooking.

He moved around the kitchen with an odd sort of grace, similar to how he moved on the Quidditch field; it was a sort of economy of movement, as if he always knew exactly where he was going to need to be next. He tasted something from the pot bubbling on the stove, then threw a careless pinch of salt in and followed that with a quick splash of wine from a bottle on the counter, all done with unthinking finesse and little logical reasoning from what she could see. He turned to pick something up from behind him and caught sight of her, face breaking into a smile as he took in her expression.

'You look like you just took a bludger to the head.'

He turned back to the pot and added a few sprigs of whatever greenery he'd just picked up, before he picked up the wine bottle and filled one of the glasses on the counter. He turned and held it out to her, picking up another half full glass from alongside him and swallowing a mouthful.

She took the glass and tentatively tasted the wine. 'Are you supposed to drink cooking wine?'

James contrived to look offended. 'It's a very good wine actually. I wouldn't cook with something I wouldn't drink.'

Lily giggled. She tried not to, but she just couldn't help it. His eyebrows rose as he took another calm drink of his wine. 'Something amuse you?'

'You're cooking. The muggle way.'

James looked around him exaggeratedly. 'So I am. Excellent powers of deduction Miss Evans.'

'You can cook.'

James paused mid-sip. 'You know, I can't help noticing the rather repetitive nature of our conversation at the moment.'

'Sorry.' Lily managed another mouthful of her wine. It was rather nice actually; light and fruity, with just a hint of sweetness under the bite of the alcohol. 'It's just…I didn't know you cooked. I mean, you have house elves.'

'Yes we do.' James turned back to his pot and gave it a few quick stirs. Seemingly happy with its progress, he turned the heat down and turned his attention back to Lily. 'And they are never exactly_ happy_ with letting me cook, but they do always let me.'

She was still looking at him curiously, and his mouth turned up at the corners. 'I like to cook sometimes. It's relaxing, something I can do without thinking about it too much.'

Lily's brow furrowed. 'How can you cook without thinking about it? Don't you need ingredients, quantities? Isn't there a recipe?'

James smirked at her. 'How do you make a new potion Lily? You experiment. You take what you know, and add whatever you feel is right. Sometimes it doesn't come out like you think it will, but it's much more fun that way.'

'I can't do that.' She confessed quietly. 'It frustrates me not to know what I'm going to end up with; I want to know that at the end of it all, I've done it right.'

James laughed. 'Well, when it comes to cooking, there is no right. There's only edible, and not. And I'm very confident that this will be edible.' He took a large swallow of his wine and reached for the bottle to top up.

She took another little sip of her wine and put the glass down on the counter. 'Isn't it a little early for alcohol?'

He shrugged and took another melodramatically large gulp, grinning at her when she laughed. 'It's five o' clock somewhere. Besides, plenty of people have a drink with lunch. I solemnly swear that I will not fly a broomstick, attempt to apparate or allow myself to be put in charge of caring for small children.'

He turned back to his pot and stirred again. 'Come here and tell me what you think of this.'

She moved towards him and he turned with a spoon held out. She hovered uncertainly just out of reach.

'Why ask me? How will I know if it's right?'

He reached out his free hand and held it palm up for hers. 'There isn't a right, remember? Just tell me whether you like it or not.'

She slipped her hand into his and allowed him to pull her over to the stove and she tentatively took a taste of whatever was on the spoon.

'It's good. What is it?'

He laughed. 'White wine chicken soup.' He took another quick taste himself. 'And it is pretty good actually. Maybe needs more garlic.' He realised that she was staring at him. 'What?'

'Nothing. Nothing. It's just…, I'm sorry, James Potter: domestic god?' she began to giggle helplessly, and he frowned at her in mock anger before reaching out and smearing the contents of the spoon across one cheek.

'Oi!' She reached a hand up to rub her face, and he grinned happily at her.

'Here, let me get that for you.' He leaned toward her with his tongue out, and she batted him away and moved haughtily towards the sink. She splashed water on her face and wiped at the sticky smear with her hands while he laughingly turned back to his soup pot and lifted it from the heat. She looked down at the soapy suds in the sink, and the dishcloth floating on the surface and the corners of her mouth lifted in a wicked grin.

The dishcloth hit James in the side of the face and slid down, falling onto his shoulder and then landing on the floor with a splat. He turned his head very slowly towards her, a streak of soapy water beginning to dry on his face. 'Really?'

Lily's giggles were almost uncontrollable now, and she was biting her lip hard as she tried to keep them in. James looked at the wall directly ahead of him for a moment. 'Right then.'

He turned quickly and crossed to her in two swift steps, then bent down and slung her over one shoulder in one easy motion. His arm braced her legs against his chest while her upper body hung helplessly down his back, though to be fair she was laughing too hard to have struggled with him anyway.

She was aware that he had stepped out of the back door into the gardens and was now marching them across the grounds, but she had no idea what he was up to until she caught a glimpse of the ornamental lake.

'James don't you dare!'

He kept walking, giving no indication that he had heard her, though she was positive that he was grinning.

'I mean it James, if I had my wand I swear…'

'Ah, but you don't.' He said cheerfully. 'And neither do I, so we're essentially muggles right now, and I'm afraid I'm a lot stronger than you. Sorry love.'

They'd reached the edge of the lake by now, and Lily dug both her hands into the back of his shirt and held on tightly. 'You wouldn't James Potter, you wouldn't dare!'

'Daring me now are you? You don't know me at all do you sweetheart?' And with that one final question, he threw her into the lake in one heave.

She surfaced quickly, spluttering and cursing, and he was doubled over with laughter at her bad-tempered profanity. When he finally managed to get a grip on himself, she was treading water and glaring at him.

'Prick.'

'Ah, come on Evans it's a hot day. You can't tell me you're not cooler in there.'

'Cooler? I'm bloody freezing! If you think it's such a nice, relaxing experience, why don't you jump in here?' She glared at him and he smiled back at her.

'Alright then.'

'What?' It was the only word she managed to get out before James had stripped off his shirt, thrown off his glasses and dived into the lake. He hit the water just alongside her and sent a tidal wave crashing over her head. She'd just regained her bearings again when she felt hands tug on her ankles and pull her sharply back under the water.

He let her go almost immediately, and by the time she reached the surface again he was treading water and waiting for her.

'Are you mental?' She growled at him, and when he laughed at her, she used her hands to splash water over his head.

'Come on Lily.' He caught her by the hand and pulled her towards him, smiling at the sight of her hair, rendered a few shades darker by the water, plastered to the side of her face and watching her lips tremble slightly as they floated together in the frigid water. 'Relax a little.'

'Oh, you want to relax Potter?' She lunged at him, caught him around the neck, and pulled them both back under.

They swam easily around in the cold water, laughing as they splashed each other or as one of them managed to catch the other unawares and dunk them again. When they eventually began to feel the cold a little too much, they swam lazily to the side of the lake, where Lily reached up to the grassy bank and tried to lift herself out.

Her grip slipped and she fell backwards, crashing into James who automatically caught her. Her back was pressed against his front, and despite the chill of the water, she could feel the warmth of his bare skin through the thin cotton of her soaked shirt.

'Here, I got you.' James turned her gently round until she was facing him, grabbed her hips and lifted her bodily out of the water and set her down on the banking, her legs still dangling in the water.

'Thanks.' She smiled down at him, still treading water in front of her, and it struck her how different he looked without his glasses; still indisputably James, but somehow less_ himself_ than normal.

'You're welcome.' He braced his arms on the banking beside her and heaved himself out, biceps tightening as he lifted his weight with his arms. He sat down beside her and grinned.

'Told you it was relaxing.'

'Oh, shut up.' She answered good-naturedly, and his smile didn't falter, but he caught the slight shiver that ran through her as they sat in the sun. He reached over to grab his shirt and draped it carelessly over her shoulders before wrapping one arm around her and tucking her into his side, feeling her head come to rest on his shoulder. He rubbed his hand gently up and down her arm, trying to warm her just a little.

'It's so pretty here.' Lily murmured, looking out across the landscaped grounds of the Manor.

James glanced around. Truth be told, he was so accustomed to his surroundings that he rarely paid them any attention anymore, but he had to allow that she was right, the gardens were lovely; just landscaped enough to be perfectly beautiful, but not so overdone that they lost all sense of wildness.

He looked back down at her, only able to see the top of her drenched head. 'You're prettier.'

She tilted her head back to look at him and grinned. 'I bet you say that to all the girls you throw in lakes.'

His spare hand came up to push her hair back from her face as he smiled back down at her, suddenly realising just how close those lips were to his; he could just move his head very slightly and be kissing her, it really was just a matter of _centimetres_. He felt his head begin to move almost of its own accord, and his lips had _almost_ brushed against hers when a shout came from the kitchen.

'Prongs, can I eat this soup?'

He groaned and dropped his forehead down to rest against hers. 'It would probably only take me ten, maybe twenty seconds to murder him.'

Lily snorted and stood up, wringing out her shirt. 'You'd miss him. Let's go and make sure he's not eating all the soup.'

'I wouldn't miss him that much.' James grumbled, but nonetheless he took her offered hand and pulled himself to his feet, and they made their way back towards the kitchen, hands still entwined.

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**15****th**** August 1977, 9.15pm**

'Hey.'

James jerked upright into a sitting position at the sound of the voice and turned to see Lily standing in his open doorway; his face spilt into a smile almost immediately.

'Hey. You done then?'

She came into his room and smiled back. 'Yeah, all packed up. Not that I exactly had much to pack after a week, but…' She trailed off and shrugged, and his smile grew wider at her slightly sheepish expression.

'But you have to prepare for everything with military precision. And that includes packing your things to go home in advance, even when you have practically nothing to pack and you could quite easily have done it tomorrow.'

Lily pouted. 'Well, when you say it like that it sounds mental.'

He laughed and held out a hand to her; she walked to him without hesitation and slid her hand into his, allowing him to pull her down onto his bed beside him.

And this was something he'd never thought would happen: Lily Evans sitting on his bed with him, smiling at him as she held on to his hand. He could hold his hand out to Lily Evans, and she would come to him. How had any of this happened?

He realised then that she was waiting for him to say something, her head cocked on one side slightly as she looked at him curiously. He stared at her for a moment before he blurted out the first thing in his head, because right then it seemed like the only thing.

'I don't want you to go.'

Her face changed at his words, and he wasn't quite sure what to make of the new expression. His nerves began to jangle as he watched her and waited, and his mind went into overdrive as he began to strive for words to fix whatever mistake he'd made, to make her happy with him again.

His thought process was cut short when she launched herself at him. Her arms locked around his neck and her lips landed on his, and the impact of her body knocked him over backwards until he was flat out on the bed with her stretched out on top of him. It took his brain one shocked second to register what was happening and respond to her proximity, then his arms curled around her waist and his lips moved against hers and everything was _Lily_. And she was damn near _smothering_ him, but he didn't care, and the thought of moving her from her current position didn't get a second's consideration. He'd die first, right here and now, a happy man; give him a shovel, he'd dig the grave himself.

He'd never get over how she felt when she was pressed up against him, how she tasted, how much of a complete bloody _miracle_ it was that they'd overcome all their past disagreements and problems to get here. Lily Evans was in his arms and she _belonged _there, if only she would accept it.

Lily's thought process was nowhere near as coherent as James'. She only knew that he'd looked straight at her and said those words with complete and total sincerity - and she would have sworn that her heart had stopped for just that one moment if she hadn't still been able to hear her blood pulsing through her head - and in that moment she had to kiss him. So she'd flung herself at him, and now she could feel his fingertips sinking into her back, could feel his tongue touch hers, could smell the heat rising from his skin, and she wasn't letting him go…

'Prongs, have you…_in the name of Merlin_, can't you at least shut the fucking door?'

Sirius's yelp sent Lily rolling off James, and she landed on her back alongside him on the bed, breathing heavily and staring at the ceiling. She refused to look over at the door, because she knew _exactly _what Sirius' face looked like. Smug.

'I knew it. I fucking _knew_ it.' He even _sounded_ smug. 'Prongs, I am your _best mate_ and I can't believe you didn't tell me this was going on. I knew you were holding out on me. How could you tell Moony and not me?'

Lily rolled slightly to her side at the sound of James' exasperated groan, and she watched him push himself up on his elbows and stare across the room at his friend. 'Padfoot, for the last time, I haven't spoken to Remus about anything regarding Lily, alright? Anything he knows, he's worked out for himself. And the reason I haven't told _any of you_ anything yet is…well, because I don't know what to tell you, frankly. It's complicated.'

Lily lifted her head just enough to catch Sirius' frown. 'How complicated can it be, given that I just walked in on you two practically ripping each other's clothes off?'

Lily sat bolt upright at that. 'We were not! And for your information, **I** was the one who told Remus about New Year's Eve!'

'What?' James sat up as well and turned to look at her, and she felt a little bit guilty for not telling him that she'd spoken to one of his best friends about what was happening between them; after all, he'd kept it secret from them all apparently, and she knew he'd done that for her.

'I'm sorry. I thought he would have said something to you, or I would have told you myself that I'd spoken to him. I just needed some advice from someone who wouldn't leap to conclusions.' She reached out for his hand, trying to convey her apologies to him, and she was relieved when he returned the gentle squeeze.

'That's okay.' James' lip twitched a little. 'And here I thought he was just becoming incredibly perceptive.'

'Missing the point here.' Sirius interrupted. 'We've established that Moony knows about New Year's Eve, Lily told him, that's lovely. _What does Moony know?_'

'I'm going to leave you to it.' Lily began to slide towards the edge of the bed, but James' hand tightened on her wrist. She turned to look at him, and gave him a little smile. 'We can talk about this another time yeah?'

He looked at her, and she couldn't help the little stab of guilt at the expression that flickered briefly over his face; she hated that it was her reluctance to discuss this, her fear of letting herself feel all these terrifying things for him that put that look of disappointment in his eyes time and again, but she couldn't help it.

His fingers lifted from her skin, as she'd known they would, allowing her to move off his bed and towards the door. She paused in the doorway and looked back at him with a faint smile, before scowling at Sirius and disappearing down the hall.

He watched her go and turned back to face James who was once again sprawled on his back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. 'Want to spill your guts Prongs?'

'No.' James kept his eyes resolutely upwards.

'Oh, come on! How come I don't get to know what's going on?'

'You're a prick.'

Sirius landed on the bed alongside James. 'Look, I'm sorry for interrupting what I'm sure was a particularly fantastic snog, but how the hell was I supposed to know? I wasn't exactly aware that you and the lovely Lily were on snogging terms.'

James' hands came up to cover his eyes. 'We're not. I mean, we are…but we're not…we're not _together_. We're not _dating_ or anything, we've just had…moments.'

'Moments.' Repeated Sirius expressionlessly, and James nodded as he scrubbed his hands over his face.

'Snogging moments.' Said Sirius in that same flat tone as he turned his head to face James, who gave him a one-shoulder shrug and a helpless smile. Sirius huffed his exasperation. 'How about you start at the beginning Prongs?'

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) _**_**(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)**_

**22****nd**** August 1977, 9.30am**

Still in her pyjamas and with no intention of getting dressed anytime soon, Lily walked into the kitchen and flung herself down on a chair, glaring around the room. For a moment, she almost wished Petunia was here, or maybe her cousin Melissa; she could do with a fight. A real screaming row, anything to get her out of this stupid mood.

She drummed her fingers on the table edge while she tried to decide whether she could be bothered to make herself anything for breakfast; eventually she settled on just a glass of juice and she rose and opened the fridge.

No juice. Obviously.

She slammed the door shut and slumped back down in her chair, pulling her wand from her pocket and turning it over and over and rolling it between her fingers. As she looked down at her fidgeting hands, she noticed the sheet of paper that had fallen from her dressing gown pocket when she had pulled her wand out.

Picking it up, she smoothed it out and began to read the letter again.

_Lils,_

_Sweetie, under no circumstances are you to attempt to write James a letter about all this; you absolutely __cannot __have that kind of talk by letter. _

_You cannot discuss your potential relationship in a letter__. _

_Have I made that clear enough? _

_ You need to get your head around all this, and quickly. According to Sirius, who (while utterly useless when it comes to most things) is an excellent spy, James has been moping a bit since you left, but he's confident that James isn't upset with __you __at all. He just misses you. And we both agree that you shouldn't worry about the fact that he hasn't mentioned anything in his letters; he probably doesn't want to seem like he's pressuring you. _

_Lily, if you like him, go out with him. It's a fairly straightforward concept. Stop overthinking it. _

_I'll be in Diagon Alley one day next week if you want to meet up. I'll bring Alice and you can confess your dirty little sins to her as well. You might as well have jumped him in a broom cupboard you little tart. _

_Love you_

_Marlene_

She jumped when an owl flew in and landed on the back of the chair next to her; clapping her hand over her heart, she gave herself a moment for her breathing to return to normal before she turned her attention to the owl, which she recognised as one of the standard brown Hogwarts owls.

She took her letter and the owl flew off before she could offer him anything. She ran her hands over her letter and smiled; it didn't matter that she got one every year, it still felt a little bit like a miracle.

She popped the letter open, frowning slightly when she realised that it seemed fatter than normal, and pulled out the parchment. The usual list of uniform and textbook requirements and an additional letter, addressed to her, but in handwriting she didn't recognise. She put the other papers to one side and opened the letter, her eyes widening as she skimmed the few brief lines.

_Dear Miss Evans,_

_It is an absolute pleasure to inform you that you have been selected as Head Girl for the coming year. Your badge is enclosed with this letter. _

_I am sure you are aware of the duties of the role, but I would like to ask you to meet with me at 8:30pm on 1__st__ September so I may briefly discuss them with you. The password for my office is "flossing stringmints.'_

_Please meet with the Head Boy and prefects on the Hogwarts Express to organise patrols and to welcome the incoming fifth years. You may use this opportunity to discuss anything else you feel it necessary to cover with the prefects. _

_I look forward to seeing you on 1__st__ September, and would like to take this opportunity to congratulate you, and to wish you every success in the role._

_Yours_

_Prof. Dumbledore_

With trembling hands, Lily tipped the envelope upside down and gasped when a badge fell out onto the table.

Head Girl.

She'd never really thought she'd get it. Yes, she was a good student, and a diligent prefect, but she'd always thought that in the end the role would go to someone more…traditionally expected. But if there was anyone who would disregard blood status and family ties in favour of a more radical approach, it was Dumbledore.

She picked the badge up and rolled it between her fingers, watching the light catch it. Head Girl. She could only hope that the Head Boy was bearable. The odds were on her side. Besides Snape - dear Lord, don't let it be Snape –the other seventh year prefects were Remus, Leslie Cropper from Hufflepuff and Steven Thomas from Ravenclaw. Remus seemed unlikely; his lycanthropy could be an issue there, and she couldn't imagine both heads being Gryffindors. She also couldn't see Dumbledore giving the position to Snape when he'd made his feelings about muggleborns so _very_ clear. So Leslie or Steven then, with Steven being the more likely since he was more confident and Leslie was rather shy; could be a whole lot worse. Steven could be a pompous arse, but at least he wasn't a bigot.

Head Girl. What a weird year this was turning out to be.

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) _**_**(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)**_

**22****nd**** August 1977, 10.45am**

'Quidditch later mate?' James turned to see Sirius framed in his doorway, Remus standing a few steps behind him.

'Sure.' James smiled at them, but he knew they were unconvinced by it. They all knew that he'd been a little down since Lily had gone, and he was grateful that they both knew what was going on now, so at least they weren't pushing him on it.

He just wished _he _was more certain of what was going on. He turned back to look at the cluster of photos on his wall again, his eyes seeking out the same one he always ended up looking at: the one of them dancing at Petunia's wedding.

There she was, pressed right up close as he held her to him, her fingers clutching onto his back and the side of her face resting against his chest. They were so right together, the two of them, so _perfect_ that he truly didn't see what she was afraid of. This past week, ever since she'd kissed him in his room, he felt like he was closer than ever before to getting everything he wanted. So why did he feel like he was holding onto it by his fingertips at the same time?

He started when he realised that Sirius and Remus had joined him in his room, Sirius stretched lazily across his bed and Remus standing just behind him with his hands in his pockets.

'Where's Pete?' He asked, suddenly realising he hadn't seen him since breakfast.

'Stupid question.' Said Sirius. 'He's in the kitchen. Your house elves are spoiling him again.'

James rolled his eyes. For some inexplicable reason, the Potter house elves absolutely adored Peter and they took every opportunity to ply him with food, something which he hardly resisted. Sometimes he thought that was the only reason Peter ever agreed to come and stay with him.

'You're right it was a stupid question.' James turned his back on the photos, ignoring Remus' sympathetic look and slumped down in the chair by the fireplace. 'So, Quidditch?'

'We thought it might take your mind off things.' Said Remus, sitting on the edge of James' bed, well out of the reach of Sirius' idly kicking feet.

'I don't have anything on my mind.' James countered, folding his arms and pointedly not looking anywhere near the photographs.

'More like you have a one-track mind.' Sirius sounded amused. 'If you've spent more than two minutes at a time thinking about anything other than Lily over this last week, I'll kiss my mother.'

'Shut up Padfoot.'

'Yeah, shut up Padfoot.' Remus glowered at him and Sirius laughed, but he did stop talking, and Remus turned his concerned eyes back to James.

'Anyway, on another note your Hogwarts letter arrived.' Remus held out the large brown envelope and James reached out for it, turning it over in his hands. He opened it and pulled out the booklist, which he scanned then discarded before turning his attention to the smaller envelope that had been tucked in with it.

'What are these?' He asked as he scanned the unfamiliar writing and turned the envelope to open it.

Remus shrugged. 'No idea. I didn't have a letter in mine. Padfoot?'

'Nope.' Said Sirius cheerfully, pushing himself into a seated position. 'I was hoping for a love note from dearest Minerva, but alas no.'

'Shut up you dopey bastard.' Remus sounded exasperated, but since it had raised a laugh from James, a feat in itself at the moment, he let it lie.

James finally managed to pull the piece of parchment free of its envelope, knocking the larger Hogwarts envelope to the floor; something small and shiny rolled out of it and Remus bent to pick it up, his eyes widening as he looked at the item in his hands. Sirius stared over his shoulder at it, and James turned his flustered eyes on to the parchment in his hand.

_Dear Mr Potter,_

_This may come as somewhat of a surprise to you, but you have been selected for the post of Head Boy for the coming year._ _Your badge is enclosed with this letter. I have every confidence in your ability to fulfil this role appropriately. _

_Despite never having been a prefect, I am sure you are aware of the majority of the duties of the role, but I would like to ask you to meet with me at 8:30pm on 1__st__ September so I may briefly discuss them with you. The password for my office is "flossing stringmints.'_

_Please meet with the Head Girl and prefects on the Hogwarts Express to organise patrols and to welcome the incoming fifth years. You may use this opportunity to discuss anything else you feel it necessary to cover with the prefects. _

_I look forward to seeing you on 1__st__ September, and would like to take this opportunity to congratulate you, and to wish you every success in the role._

_Yours_

_Prof. Dumbledore_

He lowered the letter and looked back at his two friends, both staring at him across the room. 'Well, fuck.'

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) _**_**(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)**_

**A/N: Okay, some of you who have read Turning Tables as well may have noticed that I have a thing about James cooking. I refuse to apologise, men who can cook are sexy. Gentlemen, take note.  
**

**Let me know what you think in a review, or you can find me on Tumblr as scared-of-clouds if you want to ask a question, leave a comment or interact with me in any way. I love hearing from you.  
**


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